"Getting over it" - how long?

[AnotherRound]

I don't have a uterus. I haven't missed it once since the day they took it out.

 

Sorry to TJ here but I am way jealous! I was just in the ER not long ago for another issue with that stuff - and again, wish the same pain on the male doctors who poo poo away my pain and tell me that some day I will really want to bear children. I would like to have children, yes, but if I can't, I can't - I can accept that... jeez!

[cocorico]

In my home state, and not that long ago - like 13 years ago (wow, maybe that long ago! lol) the husband HAD to give permission for a woman to have her tubes tied or to have a hysterectomy. A cousin of mine was done having children after 3, but her H refused to sign the paper work to allow her to have tubes tied - and she ended up getting pregnant again. Her H was raping her almost daily - but she wasn't telling anyone until much later (I was LIVID, but had no idea prior to that) and he liked keeping her pregnant as it kept her bound to the house while he just did whatever he wanted.

 

She should have been able to, imo, make that choice herself as it was her body needed to carry the babies. They had 3 - she miscarried the final one - and divorced him and had her tubes tied. But it wasn't just notification - it was actual permission.

 

I suspect it's related to the lack of separation of church and state, that biblical notions of Hs and Ws "owning" each other mean that your own body isn't really yours.... It's similar to suicide being classified a crime - as if your life does not really belong to you, but to another (the state). Madness, IMO.

[AnotherRound]

She could have done all that after a D without anyone's permission.

 

And, yes. Had I a partner so devious as to trick me into being a parent, the D would have come right then and there.

 

She did, eventually. I was shocked and horrified when I found out that he was raping her - but he had convinced her that it couldn't be rape bc they were married. He was a piece, for sure... As soon as I found out what was going on, I gave her all the info and education I could - and finally, she realized what kind of abuse she had been dealing with and got free. She has struggled some - but at least she isn't be forced and used as a baby maker against her will any longer. And don't get me wrong, she loves her children (as do I!) but she had zero choices when it came to her own body. It was the law then - I have no idea what their laws are now as I don't live there anymore.

[LFH]

I remember my dad had to give permission for my mom's tubal ligation after my sister was born. Even as a kid I thought that was weird. It didn't come up for me but does anyone know if that's still legally the case? Is that still required?

[AnotherRound]

I remember my dad had to give permission for my mom's tubal ligation after my sister was born. Even as a kid I thought that was weird. It didn't come up for me but does anyone know if that's still legally the case? Is that still required?

 

No idea if it is still - but probably in my home state it still is, pretty bible thumpy over there, lol. Haven't run into it here, so not sure. And yeah, it's beyond weird. My cousin's exH (the one I was talking about) said out loud, in his outside voice, that he wanted to be able to have another baby if one of theirs died so they could replace the one that died - that was the mentality my cousin was dealing with, poor girl. And he was honestly convinced that he couldn't rape her bc he owned her - and he used that to his advantage any time he felt like it. It's a sick world where stuff like that goes on and is touted as the "ideal" thing - being married and people think those are the types of rights they have once married.