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Heartbroken, advise please


UHGFJAKHGJAHFJ

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UHGFJAKHGJAHFJ

Hey everyone, just joined the site...sorry for the stupid name I have...I tried a million others but seemed everythign was taken so got frustrated and just typed in letter. Anyway......I really could use some help as no one I know can relate to me in the situation I am in.

 

About 6 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 yrs. I am 22 years old and we dated all High School and all college up to senior year. The reason I ended it was due to constant fighting. I felt as though I tried everything to try to get along and it was just not working, that on top of getting the urge to explore single life for a while. Even though I ended it I never stopped loving her and hoped one day we could give it another chance. She was obviously crushed. Felt betrayed and was devestated. I ended it badly and have since apologized many times over and cannot say sorry enough. Well like I said, 6 months has passed and I miss her so much. We started to talk again about 2 months ago and then began talking more and more online and what-not and talk every once in a blue moon on the phone. It was nice bc she is one that hard to reconcile with and get forgiveness from as she gets very hurt and emotion and just puts up all these walls and barriers that must be conquered. I would see her out sometimes and during the summer we met for food and a drink once or twice though nothing special. I did tell her though my feeling about her, and more imprtantly how I have changed in the time we were apart. She said it was everythign she ever wanted to hear from me. In that single time I did live out being single so it cannot be said I did not give it a chance...but it was not as good as I expected or wanted. it's just not me. Being with her is me and what I want. She went away for a few weeks at the end of August and just got back. She called me and asked me to go for drinks and I was very happy about that. I did...turns out she brought me there to in turn break my heart. She told me she is starting to date her long time best friend from college. I always assumed it may happen bc a guy and girl being best friends all through college and now home together always has that possibility of happening unfortunatly. Needless to say I am devestated by it bc I was really hoping that we were startign to get somewhere. We did not speak for a long time after the breakup and were just starting to once again talk regularly and see each other from time to time. She is now working in the area we both live and grew up so was hoping things would move along even further now that she is home for good (She went to school in philly bout 1 1/2 hours away from me). When she told me the news I finsihed up my drink and we left as it hurt so bad I couldnt stand to be there. It was my one fear. Had it been some random guy then it would suck but at least there was no guarantee.....but this is her long time guy friend, so only naturally I believe it will last. As a last note....each day gets worse and worse in me longing for her and wantign to be with her. When I go out now I do not go out to try to pick up a girl and the last thin I want is to start a relationship with someoen other that her. Trying to find someone else is the farthlest thing from my mind.

Is there anything I can do to try to get her to realize she should be with me again? That I have changed for the better and want to prove it to her? I want her to know that I will not hurt her again as if we get back its a promise to her that when we get older and financially secure I will make her my wife. I love this girl. Any advise, insight would greatly be appreciated. Thank you for your time.

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Is there anything I can do to try to get her to realize she should be with me again? That I have changed for the better and want to prove it to her? I want her to know that I will not hurt her again as if we get back its a promise to her that when we get older and financially secure I will make her my wife. I love this girl. Any advise, insight would greatly be appreciated. Thank you for your time.

 

Unfortunately, you can't make someone love you.

 

It appears she's moved on, & that's what you need to do yourself. You'll heal as time goes on, & there will be someone special for you then.

 

Trust me, I went through it myself. A divorce that left me heartbroken, I swore I'd never date again. Well, I did, & now I'm 8 1/2 years into another marriage.

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UHGFJAKHGJAHFJ

The thing though, is that when I look at her I get the sense the feelings are still there and can be rekindled, but she just blocks them out and surpresses them due to the fact I hurt her in the past and she is afraid I may due it again in the future. I broke her trust and its a hard thing to try to get back. Well thank you for the response

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The thing though, is that when I look at her I get the sense the feelings are still there and can be rekindled, but she just blocks them out and surpresses them due to the fact I hurt her in the past and she is afraid I may due it again in the future. I broke her trust and its a hard thing to try to get back. Well thank you for the response

 

That may very well be the case. When relationships end badly, feelings get hurt. You hurt someone once, you show that you "have it in you," & that it could happen again. Those are very difficult things to get past. Many never do.

 

No mistake is a total loss if you make it a learning experience. Understand what happened this last time, & take extra lengths to make sure it doesn't recur in your next relationship.

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