KristyAGD Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 My ex broke things off 3 weeks ago. Long story short, the summer had been rough, but we worked through things. We lived together. I was feeling depressed about my professional career; he felt like it was all a reflection of my unhappiness with him and the relationship. He is admittedly selfish, but I accepted that. I think he saw us both as unhappy. I think he worried that this unhappiness would resurface again--down the road when we were married and had kids. It was very sudden. There were a few days of him being distant, and then he broke it off. He labeled it as a break, a separation. It still cut like a knife. He tried to throw himself into his work, his hobbies, etc. He talked about starting a business, etc. He is terribly afraid to show weakness and vulnerability. So he acted like he was always super busy, but did find time to talk. I saw/talked to him twice the first week. I saw him once the second week, and he told me he had made the right decision with our separation. I then gave him his space the rest of the week. He ended up calling me 4 days later, leaving a short but poignant message on my phone. He said he didn't know why he was calling; he just wanted to talk to me. He said he was feeling sad. (He later admitted that he missed me). I called him back and we talked for 45 minutes. We agreed to meet the next day, and I told him I needed to talk to him about something. I met up with him, and we had small talk for half an hour. Then he asked what I wanted to "talk" about. I believe that he thought it was about getting back together. It wasn't, and he seemed upset, disappointed. He said something about his fears that my family hates him (I am currently at my mom's). I left on good terms, and we hugged 3 times (nice long hugs that tore at my heartstrings). Was this a good thing? I don't know. I guess physical contact isn't BAD, necessarily. I haven't called him since. It's been about a week and a half, and I think I'm doing the right thing. Should I call him? Should I write him? I'm very confused. Will space help or hurt the situation? I think he might have tried to call, but he hasn't left a message. His birthday is this weekend. I miss him, but I'm too afraid to tell him that. I don't know how he feels, but I get the feeling that he thinks that I'll wait for him to take me back. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 . We agreed to meet the next day, and I told him I needed to talk to him about something. What DID you need to talk about? I assume the space was to give you the opprtunity to think about the relationship, yourselves, & each other. Seems he's done his thinking, & maybe he does want to get back together. Do you? It's his birthday this weekend. How about a sweet card, with a letter telling him how you feel, & how you've been feeling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KristyAGD Posted September 9, 2004 Author Share Posted September 9, 2004 Scott, Thanks for your insight. I needed to talk to him about a few financial situations, since we lived together and shared finances. Very businesslike..not the heartfelt "talk" he was expecting. I thought about sending a card, but then I worried about seeming too needy, etc. But I figure--what do I have to lose? Link to post Share on other sites
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