jcp62 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I met this girl from my university on a spring break trip recently and we ended up hooking up (just making out). I knew before this she had a bf of 4 years and she described her relationship as an "on-off" one where she took time this winter to explore other options but never found someone like me to try something new with. My question(s) for you loveshackers: Can i trust this girl? Is she going through a fit of GIGS? Anybody with experience in the realm of starting a relationship with someone that cheated with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I met this girl from my university on a spring break trip recently and we ended up hooking up (just making out). I knew before this she had a bf of 4 years and she described her relationship as an "on-off" one where she took time this winter to explore other options but never found someone like me to try something new with. My question(s) for you loveshackers: Can i trust this girl? Is she going through a fit of GIGS? Anybody with experience in the realm of starting a relationship with someone that cheated with you? NOPE!!! If she can cheat with you, then she can cheat on you. And how do you feel being the person that she was "just testing the waters" with? Doesn't seem like a great fondation to start a relationship on. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Well, seeing as you willingly cheated with her: knowing she had a bf....maybe justice will visit you as well, in the future. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 No need to trust her, as there is as of yet no basis in experience nor perspective to do so. Enjoy the now. Casual is the mantra of youth. Ask her to describe 'something new'. Listen. Then compare to actions. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Ahh my friend, like the other poster said, you willing jumped in bed with her when you knew she was spoken for, so why expect exclusivity when she's with you? Guaranteed after a couple of years you'll be looking over your shoulder wondering if she's with someone else...karma's a B!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My question(s) for you loveshackers: Can i trust this girl? Absolutely.............not. Is she going through a fit of GIGS? Anybody with experience in the realm of starting a relationship with someone that cheated with you? No, no experience, because I've never knowingly been the "other guy". Well once, unknowingly. Soon as I found out she lied and had a bf, she was history. You think she is just having a "fit of GIGS"?? Do you really think the desire to mess around with someone else goes away for someone like that? I just might, but its also in the back of this type of person's mind that if they were 1000 miles away and had the opportunity to cheat with someone they are attracted to, and you'd never find out, you'd be cheated on. They cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. Either way they are unworthy of a faithful man. And what were you thinking being with someone that was cheating on her boyfriend? One could say you aren't to be trusted either, unless you didn't know she had a bf and she lied to you about it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I met this girl from my university on a spring break trip recently and we ended up hooking up (just making out). I knew before this she had a bf of 4 years and she described her relationship as an "on-off" one where she took time this winter to explore other options but never found someone like me to try something new with. My question(s) for you loveshackers: Can i trust this girl? Is she going through a fit of GIGS? Anybody with experience in the realm of starting a relationship with someone that cheated with you? How long has she been single? Has she had time to process her break up and be on her own? Have you two talked about this issue? if not, DO so and be honest. she may have trust issues with you as well, to knowingly get involved with someone who you knew had a boyfriend and you went for it anyway.. This goes both ways even though she was the one who cheated on her boyfriend of four years. Or did you two get together in one of their "off" times in their relationship? Nobody can dictate or tell if she will cheat on you in the future, or you on her. Link to post Share on other sites
man_in_the_box Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I met this girl from my university on a spring break trip recently and we ended up hooking up (just making out). I knew before this she had a bf of 4 years and she described her relationship as an "on-off" one where she took time this winter to explore other options but never found someone like me to try something new with. My question(s) for you loveshackers: Can i trust this girl? Is she going through a fit of GIGS? Anybody with experience in the realm of starting a relationship with someone that cheated with you? 4 years? and she just threw that away to hook up with some random bloke on a springbreak? Sounds fishy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jcp62 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Thanks for the comments guys! Definitely not going to pursue anything at this point. I know it wasn't the most moral thing to hook up with someone that had a bf, but she made the moves and I was the single one just sayin'. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Well just hope that a guy doesn't have your same attitude with a gf you have in the future. The attitude that just because you are single it is ok to be a jackass to someone else in real life. Just sayin' 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Thanks for the comments guys! Definitely not going to pursue anything at this point. I know it wasn't the most moral thing to hook up with someone that had a bf, but she made the moves and I was the single one just sayin'. Cheers! Being single is no excuse, rather a cop-out. She made the moves, but you have the willpower to say no or walk off. Just sayin' 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JennaMax Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 it may sound like a cliche but a cheat is always a cheat. I'm insecure but i wouldn't cheat on someone period! If she's done before she's likely going to do it again. Consider yourself lucky that you found out this soon..I'd suggest don't bother unless you want to find out the hard way... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jcp62 Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 Well just hope that a guy doesn't have your same attitude with a gf you have in the future. The attitude that just because you are single it is ok to be a jackass to someone else in real life. Just sayin' Not quite sure what you mean, but being single is still real life. I have had a guy do this to a gf I had in the past and I don't blame him for my gf deciding to cheat on me - that was her choice. Regardless of what attitude a guy has the only kind of gf i would want to keep is one that wouldn't cheat. If the only thing keeping my gf from cheating on me is a guy not wanting to hook up with her when she wants to hook up with him, then I don't want that girl as a gf. I don't need you telling me that I'm a jackass either. I posted this thread for advice not to be called names like we're middle school. On a follow up note, she and her bf have since broken up and we have ended any sort of relationship as it is best for all parties involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Regardless of what attitude a guy has the only kind of gf i would want to keep is one that wouldn't cheat. If the only thing keeping my gf from cheating on me is a guy not wanting to hook up with her when she wants to hook up with him, then I don't want that girl as a gf. What irony given the OP! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Not quite sure what you mean, but being single is still real life. I have had a guy do this to a gf I had in the past and I don't blame him for my gf deciding to cheat on me - that was her choice. Regardless of what attitude a guy has the only kind of gf i would want to keep is one that wouldn't cheat. If the only thing keeping my gf from cheating on me is a guy not wanting to hook up with her when she wants to hook up with him, then I don't want that girl as a gf. I don't need you telling me that I'm a jackass either. I posted this thread for advice not to be called names like we're middle school. On a follow up note, she and her bf have since broken up and we have ended any sort of relationship as it is best for all parties involved. It's middle school to excuse one's bad behavior. Indeed she chose to cheat, but so did you. When you know someone's taken, yet you still cheat with them, that makes you a cheater. That is advice: don't do it again. You remind me of my boss, who says it is the girl's fault, if she cheats...cause no Guy is going to say no...to some girl spreading her legs - how foolish! It takes two to tango. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 It's middle school to excuse one's bad behavior. Indeed she chose to cheat, but so did you. When you know someone's taken, yet you still cheat with them, that makes you a cheater. Well it doesn't exactly make him a cheater, but it doesn't absolve him of being anything but decent to someone else. It also makes one look silly doing this knowing they are in a relationship, and then ask the question, "can I trust her". Someone with the lack of morals and knowledge of what is right and wrong doesn't need to be questioning someone elses character. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 To each their own I suppose. To me, his actions are that of a cheater, thus he is one. That ofc, is my own biased opinion. Make no mistake: it is biased. The Guy my Gf cheated with, knew of me rather well: yet he still ****ed her, thus he committed the actions of a cheater, he is one. The sin in my eyes is the same for both people. We all have our personal opinion on it. Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 If they will do it with you, they will do it to you. You are right to question this. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Well, if the guy knows it doesn't necessarily make him a jack-ass. I like to think of it as making oneself an ass waiting to get kicked. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Well, if the guy knows it doesn't necessarily make him a jack-ass. Yes.....it does. I like to think of it as making oneself an ass waiting to get kicked. Nah, its not worth jail time to kick the ass of a guy who doesn't care who he disrespects or treats like sh*t. A guy like that will get what is coming to him sooner or later, and one way or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Believe me it took a ton of effort not to beat his arrogant ass up. I ended up beating my fists into a tree, when I should have done it to his cowardly thinks he's something ass. Took a lot of restraint....I'd say I was pretty pissed... Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 "She might change for me" are famous last words. Personally I'd give her a shot, ready for a blow, but full of trust... then if she pulls something drop her like it's hot. Link to post Share on other sites
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