Well... we spoke face-to-face again.

[Blah Toolz]

This is the third topic I've made... if you need the backstory, please check out this link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t40096/

 

Anyways, the new semester has started. I had one class yesterday... the familiarity of the classroom setting incited thoughts of the daily routine that I used to go through; attending class, and then immediately going to my ex's house to hang out with her before we had to work. It's been almost 6 months... and I'm still feeling pain from this. I wonder to myself if that is even normal. Anyways... after that class, I remember praying to God that I wouldn't have to see the ex again. She was just such a damn brute on the phone last time I tried to call her to get some things back from her house... so vicious and cruel. I would have two classes the following day, so I just wished I could just leave the memory of going to school with her dead and buried.

 

Ironically enough... I saw her today after my first class. As I was walking out of my classroom, I saw her. As we began to pass each other, I told myself that I would just nod to her and be on my way. She turned her head coyly to the side a bit, and I would hear her say "Hey there," followed by my name. She initiated it, surprisingly. I don't know what came over me... this had been the first time in four months I had seen her face to face.

 

Like I said... the last time I tried to call her on the phone, she was vicious. However, the impulse to see her, just talk to her again... was too strong. She actually talked to me like she was glad to see me. Soft spoken... we made small talk, asked what was up. Asked her what class she was taking. I told her I was probably transferring out next semester, and she asked where. She told me that her mom had been talking about me. And that's about it.

 

I suppose it's better to have her talking to me again like a normal, rational human being than a troglodyte like she was previously. It would almost seem like the 2 years meant nothing if that were the case. I don't know... I know it doesn't mean anything, but I was genuinely glad to see her. I know that it wasn't... but it felt like my smile was a mile wide when I was talking, just joking around like we used to. I prayed to God that I would never have to see her again, because of the pain that seems to linger with infinitude. But for some reason... God had us meet and talk by chance again... I don't know. Haha, I know it will seem cliched, but damn did she look beautiful. They always do, don't they? I wanted to kiss her right there... at least hold her. But I've grown out of that... I know that we won't be leaving class together like we used to. We won't be holdng each other.

 

To everyone out there... just chill and take it easy. Seeing her, and talking to her may not make it any easier... but I guess it was a surprise at the least. Having her talk to me was something I never expected to experience again... so oh well. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Fayebelle]

I'm proud of you for staying strong. It will get easier every time you pass. Just make sure you aren't so busy looking out for her that you miss all the other beautiful ladies passing you in the hall too.

[Blah Toolz]

Originally posted by Fayebelle

I'm proud of you for staying strong. It will get easier every time you pass. Just make sure you aren't so busy looking out for her that you miss all the other beautiful ladies passing you in the hall too.

 

Haha... thank you. I've felt anything but strong these past 6 months.

 

I think I'll always have a special place in my heart for her... and I still care for her immensely. It hurts to look at her... living her life without me, and vice-versa.

 

Oh yeah, the ladies are looking very mint this semester.... I'll just take it slowly, though. The past few girls I've dated have got on my nerves for some reason... they made me realize I'm not ready for another relationship yet.

[carolina]

Hey There Blaz Toolz--

 

I sure hope it's "normal" to still feel pain 6 months after losing someone you loved as I'm going on 6 months too. It's slowly getting better but like everyone says, it takes time. It's not like you can just snap your fingers and be over someone you loved.

 

Anyway, I've read many of the posts you've posted to others on this site. You seem like a nice, caring guy. Don't put up with any girl talking "vicious" to you on the phone. That's just a sign of their own issues & insecurities.

 

It sounds like you're still in school/college.....in which case you're still young & have a lot going for you.

 

It's always awkward running into an ex. Anyway, it sounds like you handled the situation well.

 

Keep your head up and stay strong! You'll find a girl that's deserving of you.

[hurtingandconfused]

She told me that her mom had been talking about me.

 

If you don't remember I got the same s***.

 

Wonder why they mention that part.

[Blah Toolz]

Originally posted by hurtingandconfused

If you don't remember I got the same s***.

 

Wonder why they mention that part.

 

Maybe a way of saying that they miss you, but their sense of self-pride prevents them from just coming out and saying it.

 

Maybe a way of making it appear that they aren't the bad guy... by saying something "complimentary," like that. Who knows what they are thinking... I try not to analyze everything she says, just makes it worse.

[Splatty]

Here is my advice, I got dumped about 2 months ago and same thing we are back at university.

 

Oh yeah, the ladies are looking very mint this semester.... I'll just take it slowly, though. The past few girls I've dated have got on my nerves for some reason... they made me realize I'm not ready for another relationship yet.

 

The thing is even if you aren't ready for a relationship, try to keep dating. Take out those sweat college ladies, it may not feel right but it will make things better in the long term. Nothing is worse then looking back and saying "I wait this long to really try dating, why?" Don't get me wrong I am not over my ex but I might as well try.

[Blah Toolz]

Originally posted by Splatty

Here is my advice, I got dumped about 2 months ago and same thing we are back at university.

 

 

 

The thing is even if you aren't ready for a relationship, try to keep dating. Take out those sweat college ladies, it may not feel right but it will make things better in the long term. Nothing is worse then looking back and saying "I wait this long to really try dating, why?" Don't get me wrong I am not over my ex but I might as well try.

 

Yah... I know. I have been, even though I'm not looking. They're all nice, and some very hot, but I guess it's true when they say the ones you don't want, want you the most.

 

I've made some new female friends, just saying nothing serious yet. Wouldn't be able to deal with it, and I'd end up hurting someone, don't want to do that.

 

So what do you guys make of the fact that she actually talked to me this time? And why would she be so ruthless on the phone?

[Splatty]

So what do you guys make of the fact that she actually talked to me this time? And why would she be so ruthless on the phone?

 

Here is my guess, but I might be wrong.

On the phone she was upset and confused. My guess it wasn't confusion about you but questioning or confused about herself. She probably didn't realize how painful the things she said were, she was speaking from pain and confusion. I not trying to justify her actions, she should have never done it.

 

After some time she might see that she was a jerk, using the good ol chit chat method. Man do I hate the chit chat. You use to have deep conversations with these people and now it's "great weather we are having". Man... if it makes you question yourself I say don't talk to her.

 

She will never forget you man, you would be surprised about how things probably still reminder of you.

[estakado]

What up BT!

 

Hows the holidays treating ya bro? Hope you still holdin your own and you got yourself together. I hope that you keep busy enough to find something to do that you can enjoy. Again, try to keep positive and you will attract positive to come to you. I know that someone special will come through for you.

 

6th months later....just move on bro, she is old news, she made a choice and all you can do now if you truly love her is just let her be happy with her decision. You dont gotta show support, but if you show her that you are strong and doing good without her, then she will again see you for the person that you are.

 

What I found out in my opinion is that sometimes exe's love to see us depressed and needy. It feeds their ego whether or not they expect depression to make them feel better. Dont give them that satisfaction.

 

My 1st turkey day without my ex wasnt the worst but it wasnt the best either....it stucked because she actually took the time to call me and wish me a happy t-day....I was soo normal before she called. I mean I was happy that she called but then I was sad because I realized how much a part of me really missed her.

 

But then I took some time to realize what I have now, a really cool new girlfriend, my family, my new job, and my freedom.....and I realized that all this new things that I am experiencing although strange is a lotta fun.

 

Yes, we can be scared to be without our exe's but once you hit rock bottom, and pick yourself up and start running....the sooner you will be far away from the pain.

 

Just think.....in time your ex....all she will remember is the good times with you and someday if you are lucky,if and in a 1 in a million chance she comes to her senses, if it is really really meant to be she will come back to you.

 

Everytime I talk to my ex, and I run into her friends, I make sure that I try to keep it positive and show them that I am back on track. I make sure that I let them know that yeah they hurt me but I am better than all of that and that I am stronger.

 

If you run into her again, be yourself but be positive, show her that you can come out of this pit and run with the big dogs again.

[XNemesisX]

This was sort of the same situation with me and my ex.

 

We had been broken up for a while, NC.

 

Then by chance we ran into eachother on campus, crossed paths several times. Finally he muttered out a guilty shaky voiced "hey"

 

Within a month we were back together. I've found we can stay broke up so long as we don't see eachother but for some reason when we see eachother again we end up back together.

 

We were back together and stayed together for about 6 months. Now we are back to NC and no contact for yet another month as of now. He refuses to see me to even get back his things becuase I think he knows once we see eachother again all the feelings come back and before we know it we are back together for another stretch of time just to be broke up again.

 

I think we would be fine if he didn't act like he wants to break up every 2 seconds. He's too unpredictable and immature to communicate and work out problems and instead is the type to just make a mountain out of a mole hill and make a petty argument into an elaborate and dramatic breakup. I think this time will be for good. I'm tired of the roller coaster. Plus I think that if you both can't keep from getting back together after just seeing eachother again then maybe you shouldn't be broke up and instead work on sorting out the problems and working through it. He is the avoidant type though. More of a omg some little petty argument happened this must mean we aren't meant to be together and I'm going to walk out the door on you and swear never to see you again type. Ugh. Sorry I vented so much. He's so immature for a 24 year old.

 

I'm proud of you for staying positive when you saw her. Keep your head up high! If you all are anything like me and my ex this might even be the beginning of a reconciliation. You showed her that you are happy and aren't holding a grudge against her. Showing you are holding a grudge only proves just how much they affected you. Good for you for being so classy!