ThatJustHappened Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 PS. It's typically the OWs who come on here and are defensive or smug or who push all the blame onto the MM who tend to get berated. Not the ones who are so clearly sad and confused and completely willing to take responsibility for their roles in the affair. HUGS! Link to post Share on other sites
LeGenDary_Man Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) Lady Grey - I often wondered in my marriage what all the fuss was about sex, until I met HIM. I get it now. Yes the sex is that amazing. He discovered things about me I never knew. He loves to please a woman. I love to please him. So much I orgasim when I do. Is it the illicit nature of the affair, are we soulmates, I do not know. While I wish I could transfer these feelings to my H I cannot. I never had this with him, I tried for years its just not there. You SHOULD have divorced your husband then. If you CANNOT respect your marriage wows, it is better to walk out. If you are not satisfied in your relationship, divorce is always an option. Sprout - I am hiding from feelings with MM. Sure of course I am. While I love H he and I will never have the sexual relationship I wish we could BUT MM taught me to demand H treat me differently. MM gave me the strength to do things in my personal life I never felt strong enough to do on my own. He told me I was a strong woman and I became one with his encouragement. In other words, MM knows how to MILK the HONEY. ME- he is a good person. I know from the little I say here he appears selfish and self centered. He is not. He is very generous and kind. His wife is not unhappy, he gives to everyone. He found me because he was lonely and felt empty. We are not bad people we are doing a bad thing. I want to step away to allow him to be there for his family. Its just hard. This may sound harsh: He is NOT a GOOD person; both of you aren't. If he felt so lonely and empty; divorce was an option for him too. Their is NO justification for cheating, period. You insult "good" people in true sense by regarding yourself and your OM as such; those who CHEAT and DECEIVE, do not deserve this kind of label, period. I have read people come into our lives to teach us a lesson, I know he has made me a stronger more self confident woman. I have helped him to. I want to set him free, not to see if he will come back because we will always be a part of each other even if we are not together. Leaving now when we are still happy and in love will allow us to keep the beautiful memories of our time together. Yes, he have taught you well on HOW TO CHEAT and have an AFFAIR. Seriously, you don't get the MEMO? Think about your Husband for a moment; what if he finds out about this? His pain is likely to be immense and his self-confidence would be SHATTERED. And if you have kids, oh well... Edited March 22, 2013 by LeGenDary_Man 4 Link to post Share on other sites
HopingAgain Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 You are going to put yourself through a new degree of hell if you stay with.him while shes pregnant. Do you really want to be standing idly by while knowing he's rubbing her swollen belly and thinking up baby names with her? Taking couples maternity photos? Going away on special babymoons to have one last romantic getaway before the baby arrives, and finally, when hes holding her hand and bonding with her during labor as their childs first cries pierce the air? You need to stop now before you reach a whole new level of emotional torture. He is NOT a good man.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LFH Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 On the flip side of the last post (which I tried to quote but it didn't cooperate) will you be comfortable if he's NOT doing any of those things because he's with you? Will you feel bad if he's texting you from the hall while she's in labor? Will you cry knowing that the guy that you have these feelings for is willing to skip the ultrasound so he can come have lunch with you? Will you look at it as moments that you KNOW he may eventually regret and resent you for? Will you feel guilty? I would. I asked you earlier why this was the breaking point and not when he told you that they would start trying for a family, because it might have been easier before this was here on your plate. For what it's worth, I'd walk. I know that my MM has never stopped sleeping with his wife. They are careful because there are risks to her having another baby and they certainly are not actively trying. Even so I have told him that I won't watch from the sidelines while he has a child with her. Either way would be too painful for me. I'm sorry you are hurting. I wish I could take that away for you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts