Toodamnpragmatic Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I'm all for foreplay and the fun associated, but often I hear (and it is always from husbands) that they have to give a professional quality massage for upwards of an hour prior to sex. This isn't a give and take, it is always the man having to "get her in the mood" and I just shake my head and wonder. Sex and intimacy is a give and take and here it is all give from the husband to be rewarded with being allowed sex with his spouse. I'm all for rubbing my spouse's feet or shoulders sitting on the couch watching TV or 10 minutes prior to sex, but after 15 minutes a massage is serious work. I want to know what woman (who isn't paid for it) is giving a man a massage for 45 minutes+ prior to sex????:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Sounds like you don't understand the difference between how men and women become sufficiently aroused to enjoy intercourse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodamnpragmatic Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Sounds like you don't understand the difference between how men and women become sufficiently aroused to enjoy intercourse. No I fully understand, I however am the first to admit I am not an rmt and a 1 hour massage is not foreplay it is performing a service for a payoff........ Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I'm all for foreplay and the fun associated, but often I hear (and it is always from husbands) that they have to give a professional quality massage for upwards of an hour prior to sex. This isn't a give and take, it is always the man having to "get her in the mood" and I just shake my head and wonder. Sex and intimacy is a give and take and here it is all give from the husband to be rewarded with being allowed sex with his spouse. I'm all for rubbing my spouse's feet or shoulders sitting on the couch watching TV or 10 minutes prior to sex, but after 15 minutes a massage is serious work. I want to know what woman (who isn't paid for it) is giving a man a massage for 45 minutes+ prior to sex????:laugh: Wow! Where are these husbands that give out professional massages?? I want one now. Really, I don't ask people I know if they give out professional massages to their spouses. I guess the ones who do would be the ones who were professional trained. Then, maybe giving the massage to their spouse is practice for them to perform better at work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 No I fully understand, I however am the first to admit I am not an rmt and a 1 hour massage is not foreplay it is performing a service for a payoff........ Is it your wife demanding massages from you? I guess this would be off putting. This did reming me, though, are there actually places where men offer services to women for a price in America? I saw this on Glee, and I didn't believe, but my friend said there were male brothels (sp?) here in the U.S. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Mine will massage me for an hour or so before sex, but he likes to massage me. I adore receiving but I can't give more then 5 minutes. So I do other things to reciprocate for all the massage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodamnpragmatic Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Is it your wife demanding massages from you? I guess this would be off putting. This did reming me, though, are there actually places where men offer services to women for a price in America? I saw this on Glee, and I didn't believe, but my friend said there were male brothels (sp?) here in the U.S. No she'd rather have a professional (and usually a female) one. I know more than 10 minutes is personally a chore and work. There is plenty of other things I consider foreplay...... Really it is just what I've read on various sites where men state they "have" to give these long drawn out massages (and funnily enough none think they are being exploited) and never say that their spoyuse then returns that hour plus of foreplay..... Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I'd fall asleep. I don't understand how that is foreplay---UNLESS it is the kind of relationship where they guy only touches/kisses her when he wants sex. In that case, it could be a need to fill her "bank" with intimate touch before she can feel sexual. Why tit-for tat, though? If she needs that to get in the mood, and he's already in the mood, why do you believe she owes him something beyond the mutually satisfying sex they are now both in the mood to have? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodamnpragmatic Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 I'd fall asleep. I don't understand how that is foreplay---UNLESS it is the kind of relationship where they guy only touches/kisses her when he wants sex. In that case, it could be a need to fill her "bank" with intimate touch before she can feel sexual. Why tit-for tat, though? If she needs that to get in the mood, and he's already in the mood, why do you believe she owes him something beyond the mutually satisfying sex they are now both in the mood to have? Sorry but an hour of hard work to get her "in the mood"????? More like she's been programmed expectations and to me that is no fun. As said the odd 10-15 minute massage, some mutual rolling around is what sex should be. When it is labour intensive (and to me a 1 hour massage is work) then there is something missing. How would a woman react if another woman posted matter of factly that "I have to give my spouse a 30 minute bJ prior to sex every time"? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 When it is labour intensive (and to me a 1 hour massage is work) then there is something missing. Well, obviously, but maybe what is missing is non-sexual touch all day/week long. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I'm all for foreplay and the fun associated, but often I hear (and it is always from husbands) that they have to give a professional quality massage for upwards of an hour prior to sex. This isn't a give and take, it is always the man having to "get her in the mood" and I just shake my head and wonder. Sex and intimacy is a give and take and here it is all give from the husband to be rewarded with being allowed sex with his spouse. I'm all for rubbing my spouse's feet or shoulders sitting on the couch watching TV or 10 minutes prior to sex, but after 15 minutes a massage is serious work. I want to know what woman (who isn't paid for it) is giving a man a massage for 45 minutes+ prior to sex????:laugh: i dont think thats fair.....thats a long massage......i would get bored.....or fall asleep that to me isnt foreplay its sleep time....i have made the mistake in the past of telling my friends or dates i have worked as a masseuse.......so i am the one they come to when they are sore........an hour long massage is hell on the hands especially deep tissue.......if used for foreplay it should be more of a tease not a requirement......in most of my relationships i am the masseur hardly ever have i asked someone to massage me,more if i am tired but cant sleep i have asked a partner to tickle my back for a little while.....like 5 minutes.......just so i can relax a bit......but i dont think its normal to request a full body massage for an hour......most professional massage sessions were about 45 minutes to an hour.......i think its a bit much to expect that when you have sex or for a guy to have sex with you they must do that........a bit princessishhhhhhhh....wipes saliva from keyboard...............smilin....tough crowd you got there......if you have to perform an hour massage......best wishes..ps i am no longer telling anyone i was a massuese.......i am retired and that way in the future, i would give nice surprises or treats if needed.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I've never heard this anywhere, ever. I too want one of these mythical massage givers. Where did you read this? naaahhh he's all mine! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
diipii Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Sometimes the decision to have sex is made many hours before the event. It can be sparked by an act of kindness or understanding, a shared joke or a fun meeting with others. Don't make your sexual routine a routine. Don't try too hard. Be yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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