Locust Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I was reading stuff about my shyness on the internet and I ran into this term called love shyness which I never had heard before. The symptoms of love shyness really fit me except a few areas, but almost all of it. Areas where I don't fit in where it says love shyness don't get jobs and do poorly in school which is incorrect because I'm doing well in school and expected to graduate next year, and I have a part-time job in IT. But the rest as far women go yes totally shy. I have several female friends and do talk to them but not often. I just don't have really hangout with women, and I don't approach them either even I find that particular girl attractive. Why I don't approach girls? Well I feel she most likely will not be attracted to me, she may thing I'm very boring, and I'm not very good at keep a conversation with a girl. I usually really think hard what to say to a girl to keep her interested, maybe that is where I mess up I don't know. With all of the obstacles, I'm considering of hiring one of those call girls, but I keep hesitating because I really don't want to but I feel I just want to touch someone. Even though I'm paying for it, I will least get that opportunity to touch someone. Yeah she will be there for the money of course that is why she doing it, but then I can get the feel of what its like to be around a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I was reading stuff about my shyness on the internet and I ran into this term called love shyness which I never had heard before. The symptoms of love shyness really fit me except a few areas, but almost all of it. Areas where I don't fit in where it says love shyness don't get jobs and do poorly in school which is incorrect because I'm doing well in school and expected to graduate next year, and I have a part-time job in IT. But the rest as far women go yes totally shy. I have several female friends and do talk to them but not often. I just don't have really hangout with women, and I don't approach them either even I find that particular girl attractive. Why I don't approach girls? Well I feel she most likely will not be attracted to me, she may thing I'm very boring, and I'm not very good at keep a conversation with a girl. I usually really think hard what to say to a girl to keep her interested, maybe that is where I mess up I don't know. With all of the obstacles, I'm considering of hiring one of those call girls, but I keep hesitating because I really don't want to but I feel I just want to touch someone. Even though I'm paying for it, I will least get that opportunity to touch someone. Yeah she will be there for the money of course that is why she doing it, but then I can get the feel of what its like to be around a woman. i have met many guys like you...you dont need an escort, it wont help you because the bottom line is you know you are paying her........you are going to struggle with women , you need startegies, with a paid woman you dont have to have strategy you just need cash.........you have to live and learn with how to talk to women, when you have captive audience its not hard to succeed, its when that woman who you are not paying and not captive walks away.......you have to learn to deal with that......for shyness you need therapy...you have to learn even though you are shaking like a jellyfish on the inside you will get through it.......dont get into the habit of paying women for their time.....you have to learn how to make your time valuable to a woman.......you have to learn how to give that soft touch to show interest....not the touch of your wallet and the handing of cash over being the exchange between a woman and yourself, in the back of your mind you will know you paid her...it will NOT help you with love shyness....only compound it and make it more complex.....and unrealistic......therapy and self esteem si what you need...not cash...and a fantasy union.....you are a worthwhile, loving, compassionate and kind person you deserve to have that back in spades.......good luck....no hooker......trust me.....i was one.....deb , Link to post Share on other sites
Author Locust Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 I would like to try to avoid seeing a call girl/escort but its so tempting because its so easy than try to ask a woman out. I feel I might die trying and never have once succeed, so seeing a call girl might be the way for me. The love shy is powerful and has taken over my life I think. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 It's not powerful, you are telling yourself it is. Do NOT identify yourself as love-shy, or incel or TFL. Any of those stupid terms will destroy your life even more because you will literally find it difficult to improve. You have to take small steps, get some therapy and immerse yourself in social activities that FORCE you to talk to women. You have to do this, start talking to them more. You won't want to hear this but you have to be bold and face your fears. Face your nervousness, learn to love it. Face the anxiety head-on - it's the only way you are going to deal with it. Seeing an escort will NOT help you the way you think it will, because you will still have this problem. Some guys may gain a little confidence, but it's no guarantee and of all the risks you could take, this one is not worth it. It is better to take the risk of actually talking to women. Don't be afraid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Locust Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 What steps I should start taking to get over the shyness. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I was reading stuff about my shyness on the internet and I ran into this term called love shyness which I never had heard before. The symptoms of love shyness really fit me except a few areas, but almost all of it. Areas where I don't fit in where it says love shyness don't get jobs and do poorly in school which is incorrect because I'm doing well in school and expected to graduate next year, and I have a part-time job in IT. But the rest as far women go yes totally shy. I have several female friends and do talk to them but not often. I just don't have really hangout with women, and I don't approach them either even I find that particular girl attractive. Why I don't approach girls? Well I feel she most likely will not be attracted to me, she may thing I'm very boring, and I'm not very good at keep a conversation with a girl. I usually really think hard what to say to a girl to keep her interested, maybe that is where I mess up I don't know. With all of the obstacles, I'm considering of hiring one of those call girls, but I keep hesitating because I really don't want to but I feel I just want to touch someone. Even though I'm paying for it, I will least get that opportunity to touch someone. Yeah she will be there for the money of course that is why she doing it, but then I can get the feel of what its like to be around a woman. A hooker won't help you trust me on this. You need to learn how to socialize and connect with women; church groups, athletic activities, a job with lots of female coworkers, co-ed classes at school or college, those will help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Locust Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 A hooker won't help you trust me on this. You need to learn how to socialize and connect with women; church groups, athletic activities, a job with lots of female coworkers, co-ed classes at school or college, those will help. I' am a student at a university but I just have a hard time meeting girls because I have no medium to meet them through. I'm taking my major courses and I see the same faces in ever class, so I don't have the opportunity to meet girls in a variety. You can't just come to up a girl on campus and introduce yourself out of the blue or she gonna think your a nut job and a creep. So I need a medium to meet girls and right now I don't have that which is why my options are so limited. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I' am a student at a university but I just have a hard time meeting girls because I have no medium to meet them through. I'm taking my major courses and I see the same faces in ever class, so I don't have the opportunity to meet girls in a variety. You can't just come to up a girl on campus and introduce yourself out of the blue or she gonna think your a nut job and a creep. So I need a medium to meet girls and right now I don't have that which is why my options are so limited. Join a club or something, talk to the guidance counselors and ask about after-hours activities every campus has a skiing club, archery club, backpacking club, whatever. You need to expand the area you're running in, try new things, that's how you meet new people. As far as meeting women goes you have to learn how to be a bit more bold, try talking/flirting with random girls at the library, coffee place, lunch room, wherever you see them. There are tons of "how to" guides on the net for nerds who wanna meet girls, go read a few to get an idea of what flirting with em is all about. Link to post Share on other sites
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