n419 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I know a lot of people don't believe that kissing someone else is cheating but i do. Anyways, my boyfriend and I have been dating since June 2011, I didn't know at the time we began dating that one of his friends had feelings for him. He told me after we got together and i felt bad because I dont want her to think i took him away from her, i just didn't know she liked him. Fast forward a few months, he tells me the girl who likes him says im a bitch and that no one likes me and she wonders how he deals with me. I got really upset, i had never done anything to her. I yelled at her she yelled back and we got into a fight. After the fight we never spoke again. He continued to hangout with her..but with groups of mutual friends. It upset me, but i couldnt help but think i was being too clingy, so i backed off and let him hangout with her. Just last month..she texts me saying he cheated on me. I asked her for proof, and she sent me numerous screenshots of messages between them. I confronted him, he didnt fess up. Then she told me he kissed her back in June 2012.. when we had been dating for a year. I was heart broken. I burst into tears and we broke up for a few weeks. He told me she said she purposely flirted with him because she hated me. She apologized to me when we were texting,. I'm upset that he lied to me..and to know everyone knew except me. I felt like an idiot. What do i do? He's changed a lot from what i've seen. hes blocked her and removed her off his phone. I'm not naive and i know it could happen again. We're trying to work things out, but its always in the back of my mind. I'm scared he doesn't like me, and he likes her. am i making a big deal out of nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Sorry you're in pain Follow your gut is all I can tell you. Do you really want to get back with someone that: - Cheated on you - Lied to you - Didn't stand up for you when you were bad mouthed - and not only that stayed friends with the person doing the gf bashing? You said it yourself that this will stay in the back of your mind, and you're already questioning if he likes you - so why do you want him back? If your gut says to swallow you pride and take that loser back - then have at it, but I think you obviously have doubts and know you shouldn't ever be mistreated like that..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I'd leave the cheater. This has drama spelt thoroughly through. Don't care if he changed ten-thousand times over. He lied to you for a long time. Only now is he sorry, after he was caught by evidence: he didn't even apologize to it...that requires admition of guilt. You all seem young, how old are you all? What high-school drama...you don't need that in your life. Yes...kissing someone else whilst in a relationship, is a form of cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Well, at the very least he is vulnerable to manipulation. This girl admitted she intentionally flirted with him and got this to happen because she hated you. You say you believe kissing is cheating. I guess I agree as long as there are different levels of cheating. Kissing is obviously not sex. Cheating sex would be an immediate end of the relationship for me. Kissing, I could see it being overlooked a single time in some circumstances. Such as the circumstance of a malicious, obsessed woman being deliberately all over a guy and he gives into it and kisses her. He needs to understand that he either has you as his GF, or has this girl in his life, not both. She's already shown that she's willing to wreck your relationship. That shows that she is of low moral character and not someone he should be around, especially if he cares about you. As usual in cases like this, I advise some level of snooping or networking with friends to make sure you know if this isn't an isolated incident. Snooping doesn't seem very good for a relationship but it's better for the relationship than ending it, and he's given you cause. Link to post Share on other sites
JennaMax Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 No, you're not making a big deal out of it. You're caught up between two heartless individuals (your boyfriend and his side-kick). I personally would come off the relationship. I know you're hurting now but it's mostly because of the thought that you're not good enough. Honestly, I don't know you but you sound like a decent girl...move past him and get on with your live. He's no good! Link to post Share on other sites
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