meh79 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Okay so currently I'm in a long distance relationship (I'm in states shes in Australia) and its been that way since July. I'm going to see her on the 26th of march which is really soon but its not for long. Anyway so she has A LOT of guy friends. She likes to game and so do they. One of them is her ex of 2 years, while we were dating she told me he kept trying to get her back. But as of a few months ago she says they're just friends and he's over it. I don't want to be the over-protective douchebag who drives his girlfriend away (and I've been doing that so much we've gotten into atleast 30 fights over it) but she likes to drink and party from time to time and I'm just scared she might get really wasted and cheat on me. She isn't a slut or a huge flirt or anything but she's very nice and outgoing and talkative and I don't know I've never been drunk but people say you have less inhibitions and you do things you wouldn't really do sober, that being said what if she's attracted to some guy and she knows better than to flirt with someone while dating someone else but maybe when she's drunk she won't care and do it anyway? That's what I'm afraid of. She's lied a few times to me but that's only because it would've hurt me a lot and in most people's eyes its not much to be afraid of but I'm extremely paranoid I've only dated 3 other girls and all of them were a mess, the first two cheated on me. I'm an absolute mess, I have no friends to talk to about this so I'm just posting this online. What should I do? Do I have a right to be paranoid even though she's done nothing? I know she hates it, it kills her. I hate it too but I just feel like I have to know what she's doing who she's out with why she's laughing when talking on facebook I worry so much. I don't want to lose her. She isn't trashy I know she isn't she's been cheated on twice before she knows what its like she wouldn't do it to me, but just..being drunk :/ I hate it. I hate alcohol. I hate what it makes people do. And I'm scared she'll fall victim to it. I saw someone say "You're still aware while drunk, it just brings out your true character." And since then I thought to myself what if on the inside she's attracted to someone but wouldn't dare do anything? Yet when she's drunk and loose and open she might? Am I overreacting? If i say any of this to her she'll get really angry and think I think of her as some slut, which I don't! I need help :/ She's even offered to pay for counseling cause I'm so ****ing broken. I feel like I have to be with her everywhere she goes, read her texts, have her facebook password, but that's so ****ed up. That would give her absolutely no personal space and I DON'T want to be that guy. I just feel like I have to, for assurance..Please someone help me :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author meh79 Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 Also I don't have her added on facebook cause I don't use it but I looked at one of her friend's pages earlier and he said "Just had a talk about the amity affliction ( a band) with a random at a club best night ever" And yesterday while she was at work I was giving her paranoid texts and all and she said "I'm not gonna come home just gonna go hang out with friends for the night sorry" and she came home anyway we talked for a bit and usually everynight we call eachother on the phone and fall asleep but i think she might've pressed end on her iphone on accident or hung up and went out with her friend that posted that status. The call hung up around 9pm so I don't know..I know one club in her city is only open on thursdays and yesterday was thursday for her:/ Should I ask her? Or would that piss her off cause I looked up one of her friends on fb.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author meh79 Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 It RARELY hangs up the call..and usually when I call back she answers cause its ****ing ringing...I can't take this. I'm too scared to ask her. I don't want to do this I know I have a problem but I have a reason to be this worried right? Link to post Share on other sites
Apolodor Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Why are you in such a long-distance relationship? And how often do you visit each other? What you feel is not unusual, I used to be the same when my girfriends were living overseas. I also don't think your fears are unfounded, the chances of your gf having a ONS with a guy are perhaps pretty high. My advice would be to find a girl living closer to you unless you want to keep being tormented..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LSTom Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Keep in mind, women cheat just as much as men, if not more. They're better at because they're better at manipulation. At least, that's been my experience. Long distance creates lots of problems. For some reason, women can't be faithful when you are not around. And then they wonder, why we ask them where they've been. I'm almost beginning to think, it's better to cheat on them before they cheat on you. Alcohol + lots of guys. If had to place a wager, I'd bet she's slipped up on more than one occasion, if not full blown affair. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 i dont think alcohol brings out your true character.......i think it makes you brain dead.......and takes away self control.......lowers your walls that are naturally there to protect you from being a total ass and having regret the next day...if alcohol bought out your true character people would not have regret......i have a fair few male friends......most of them have faded off...which is fine....they were dicks anyway, most of them liked it when i drank....i still get pressured into drinking i just dont anymore, even like now when i feel like getting wasted i wont because i know its wrong.........and i still get urges to get wasted....especially when i have had a crap day ...even if guys like it when i drink, i know why they like me drunk.........alcohol doesnt mix in any relationship long distance or not, causes problems........gals plus alcohol mix with guys add that to the power of infinity pissup party and you have a huge technicolor vomit situation you have every right to feel insecure......partying while your boyfriend is away is not good.......and its pretty easy when drinking to forget because ....see above....you are brain dead......have a talk to your gf ,let her know while she is sober exactly how you feel , if she loves you she will listen and hopefully come to some form of compromise.....good luck.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Okay so currently I'm in a long distance relationship (I'm in states shes in Australia) and its been that way since July. So she went off to Australia to live a part of her life and left you in the US? Let me ask you this question: What relationship do you know of where the people are over 9,000 miles apart for close to 1 year? Link to post Share on other sites
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