Danezilla Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 Would you be hurt or upset of your spouse cut your off from sex not like we did it all the time maybe once a week average sometime not even that most of the time. I am really starting to wonder of staying even for the kids at this point is good or not i know that know we arent getting along and stuff but when do you say enough or am i just too demanding for sex as my wife says often to me? Thanks Danezilla =P Link to post Share on other sites
Honesty Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 If there are more problems than just sex then maybe you should really comtemplate leaving, but if it's only sex you should talk to her and tell her how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 I would think that my marriage was in real trouble. If I wanted to fix it/save it, I would ask my spouse to go for counseling with me. Please read The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis, and check out http://www.marriagebuilders.com. Keep in mind...you have a real emotional/physical need/want for sex in your marriage, and it is not getting met. But I am sure there is more to this story. Your wife doubtless has needs and wants that are not getting met either. Is there any chance that she has stopped meeting your desires because you have stopped meeting hers? Marriages only work well when both partners do their best to understand and meet the other person's most important needs, be they sex, companionship, financial support, parenting assistance, admiration, physical affection, or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 Well, IMHO it isn't okay to use sex as a way of getting even, getting what you want, or a way to punish someone because they have displeased you. From what you've said you and your wife are currantly having some other issues in your marriage, that you're not getting along? So I guess I would start with that. What are the issues that are making your wife not want to be with you in a intimate way? She is obviously upset or angry over something, and maybe in her mind she feels the only way to get your attention and take her seriously is to stop being intimate? Not that I think it's right, but it also isn't okay or right to ignore other problems in the relationship and think that sex will make it all good again. Works both ways;) Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 my wife rarely wants to have sex but there is no sense in complaining. I don't want sex from a person that is not a willing partner and is just laying there with her legs spread because it's her obligation as a wife. I will not leave my marriage over this. Getting a divorce in order to go out and find another woman to have sex with me is not worth losing everything I have, including my family. Odds are the new woman will end up the same as my wife, cold....it's a common theme. Link to post Share on other sites
tola Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 Darling, I really cant see what the problem is here either go and get yourself a fine strong stud of a man or go out there and buy yourself a vibrator. At least its always up and ready when U want it to. I would also strongly urge you to get the ever ready battery for it as i have found that i never lets me down. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 I think you should definitely talk to your wife about how you feel, and maybe go to counseling. I think it would be a shame to throw away what you two have together when it could quite possibly be fixed with a little effort. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 I doubt if sex itself is the problem. My husband and I have not had sex in 14 years. At first it seemed like it was all about sex, but we found that there were other problems besides and lack of sex was a symptom. We addressed the real problems in counseling and stopped focusing on sex. Sex (or lack of sex) is not a deal-breaker for us, but it is for many. Even when we got past our other problems, it had been so long since we'd had sex that neither of us wanted it anymore. Note: Sex does not equal affection and romance for us. We can be romantic and affectionate without sex. It sounds like you could benifit from some counseling to help understand your own priorities and boundaries and separate the symptoms from the problems. Celebrating Celibacy for over 14 years! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts