adb22 Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 So, we broke up a few weeks ago. It was pretty mutual, but he got the ball rolling. I was stupid and broke no contact a week later and told him that though we aren't a romantic match, is being friends "doable." He said, "I think it is. But I'll have to exhibit self control because I'm still attracted to you." Being the idiot that I am, I then saw that as an opportunity to revive the physical aspect of the relationship, as that is what I really miss from that fling, and I offered him a one time NSA "romp in the hay" The catch? Well, we never had sex in our short little fling, and I'm a virgin... He said that he wanted to, but he thinks I'll regret it and basically said, indirectly, that he thinks I'll get clingy... I told him I wouldn't because I really don't want a romantic relationship w/ him...felt odd being in one with him; however I do want the physical. He said, "what if you change your mind in 5 days? What if you meet someone new who you prefer to be your first?" I guess my dilemma is that I feel the need to break no contact once again and tell him that I didn't change my mind...I NEED TO BE TALKED OFF THE LEDGE, PEOPLE! before I do something stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I guess my dilemma is that I feel the need to break no contact once again and tell him that I didn't change my mind...I NEED TO BE TALKED OFF THE LEDGE, PEOPLE! before I do something stupid. I think it's best if you don't communicate with him. You are going through something difficult but he is right, you would regret it and most likely change your mind as the event was about to happen. Just try to distract yourself and not contact him. There isn't really anything to add to what has been already said. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author adb22 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Just made a really, really, really stupid mistake... I'm hiding my phone from myself for a good while, so that it never happens again! Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Just made a really, really, really stupid mistake... I'm hiding my phone from myself for a good while, so that it never happens again! If you don't need the phone, take out the SIM card. I threw mine away once because in those days it took a week to replace it. That allowed me enough time to cool down 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Please don't have your first time be with him. Be strong!!! Go No Contact for a while. I know how tempting the validation of sleeping with an ex is but I assure you the juice is NEVER worth the squeeze. Link to post Share on other sites
Author adb22 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 unfortunately, I do need it...arg! I'm so peeved at myself! I just left room to embarrass myself once again! Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 unfortunately, I do need it...arg! I'm so peeved at myself! I just left room to embarrass myself once again! You don't need it. But you want it really bad and emotions are running high and you are making admittedly bad choices. Take a break. Get away from.the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author adb22 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Thank you! Ugh! I just feel like crying, because I'm so conflicted! I don't want to be in a relationship with this guy, but I miss the feeling of physical closeness. He was my first "boyfriend," so I feel kind of attached, and don't want to let go completely...it's tough! Link to post Share on other sites
ses Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 He's not worth it. As difficult as it is to be away from physical affection you need to cut the cord and go NC. Sex is often emotional (especially for women), and you might experience a greater intensity of feelings for him when all is said and done. Don't regret your first time. You're strong, and I know you can do it! Link to post Share on other sites
Zulnex Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 I definitely think that he is not worth it as well. Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Author adb22 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 UPDATE: A couple of weeks ago he texted me and said that he wouldn't do nsa because he's too stressed and too old for it. In addition, he said there would be too much of a gray area because we had dated before. He also said that I forced him to decide on the spot and shouldn't have. A few days after that, I sent him a final text apologizing for making him feel pressured and told him that he was right about their being a gray area and that when I had asked him, I did still have slight feelings for him. I then said that I wished him well and that maybe we could be friends in the distant future. He agreed and then I seized contact. Exactly one week later, he texted me out of the blue and said that he was checking up on me and that he missed our conversations. I said I missed them too and said hey, maybe we could grab a drink sometime, minus all of the proposition stuff...He then said would being in close contact w/ each other be weird or bad and I said no, because I'm no longer trying to have sex with him and he made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with that. He said, "no, it is what I wanted!" We then met 3 days later and attempted to have sex...went horribly, as I was a virgin and he hadn't done it in a few years...ugh! Man...mistakes... Link to post Share on other sites
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