mbfk1 Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=darkblue][/color] Nine months later, and I still feel like my wife and I just separated. She has 3 children from previous relationships that I have been raising as their stepfather for almost half of their lives (6 1/2 + years). With each passing day I miss the interaction with them and the chance to be a full time dad more and more. Things were not easy from the very start. A lot of mistakes were made by both of us. The problem is that I am so full of regrets and guilt for not trying harder...that even though it takes two to tango...I failed. Maybe the hardest part is that my oldest daughter (step) and I had always butt heads and now I we finally really bonded since my wife and I separated. I have no chance to be there for her on a regular basis because I took a job 65 miles away when we separated and I moved out. The job market was tough and it was the only thing open when I was looking back then. I miss the daily interaction with my kids so much. I do miss my wife and wish that things would work out...but its just not happening right now...and most likely never will. she doesn't keep me from the kids, but my time is only what I am allowed to have...and that hurts more than anything I have ever experienced before. It is out of my control..and there is obviously a lot more to the dynamics of my current situation. The bottom line is that after 9 months the void in my life seems to be just growing and growing...and I become more lonely and depressed with each passing day. I have no clue how to even get over all of this enough to do anything but go to work, come home, sleep, and hope that I get to see my children at some point on the weekends. What to do? i have no clue right now... Link to post Share on other sites
lawofopposites Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 You poor darling, you need something in your life to dull the pain. You cannot dwell on what might have been, that's past now. If you stay in touch with the children, be careful. What you are doing is very honorable and lovelly and i'm sure they love you to bits but you must know your place. people come and go into each others lives and out again. If you want to keep in with those children you have to be there for them thru good and bad forever. This becomes messy when you both move on and have other partners, especially if more children enter into the equation....just keep your wits about you. Children are so screwed up nowadays. You have to make your life your OWN now. Your not ALONE, you have everyone on this site to talk to, now all you have to do is find yourself. What makes YOU happy (no, not your wife) . What excites you, anything. music, movies, cards, ....... Did you ever start something you didn't finish, ever fancied doing something but too scared. ANYTHING even if it sounds stupid, tell me......me and others on this site can help you with each step you take, we'll go slow . There IS life after wife, you need some direction. x Link to post Share on other sites
Author mbfk1 Posted September 11, 2004 Author Share Posted September 11, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=olive][/color][color=black][/color] My children make me happy...thats a start...but I do let the fact that I do not see them as much as I want to control my happiness in life every day. I am a musician that never pursued that dream...but I did go out and buy a new bass guitar and started palying again in the last two weeks...its what I am...and it makes me happy. I am also a poet...I write, have been published several times...I continue to write. Out of life I want to feel appreciated, I guess...and have postive reinforecement in my life...which means that I am avery insecure person... Reading about codependency the last few days...wow, does that describe me to the t. I am so happy that I found this site and people that might be able to teach me a thing or two and guide me back to living life again. I hope to make new friends, learn much...and pick up the pieces while I am here. Link to post Share on other sites
lawofopposites Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 I have a feeling about you and i'm worried, please keep in touch with page. I noticed you like music and poetry, it's a good way of pouring your heart out -have you ever thought of doing it seriously? There's a lot of creative people on this site i have noticed could help each other out. Have a laugh and take your mind off things till you build up some confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
lawofopposites Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 Hey, you hadn't replied when i wrote previous text! I do a bit of music stuff too, it's a good release. I reckon you should pour all your spare time into your bass playing. Find a guitarist and put those lyrics to good use. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mbfk1 Posted September 11, 2004 Author Share Posted September 11, 2004 I am definitely going back into the music game. I love to write music and lyrics...so I am going to give it another whirl. I appreciate the worrying...I am depressed a bit now and again...I'll snap out of it I hope! Link to post Share on other sites
lawofopposites Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 Keep in touch, if you fancy some muso talk, need a good lyric or want to test anything out, email me. I'm a nosey parker good 4 nothing talk-a-holic! Actually, i don't know how you'd get my e mail and i'm nervous of posting it nationwide, haven't been on this site long myself so....... ....don't really know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mbfk1 Posted September 11, 2004 Author Share Posted September 11, 2004 sounds good. yeah...I am not sure about the email address thing...have to see if this has a PM (private message feature...that would ber the best way to exchange an email address...I'll check it out. Thanks for the support!!! Marc Link to post Share on other sites
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