Should I tell my friend whats going on behind her back?

[reallyconfuseddammit]

I have a problem.

I have a friend who is emotionally unstable(karen) and uses guys and goes through them like toilet paper. Well she went out with this one guy in highschool (eric) for a while and was obssesed with him but they broke up and have been a fling off an on for some time.

She met a new bf and has been with him since untill now that he moved away to college.

Now I started dating (eric's) brother. so I see him all the time. Eric has a new gf and her and I have gotten really close and she is in love with him. Madly in love.

The problem is I think (karen and eric) are secretly seeing eachother again and I don't know what to do. I know they are talking again.

The new gf has a feeling too and asked me the other day if they have spoken (which they have, but I dont know if they have actually seen eachother and hung out) and I told her I didn't know.

 

Now I'm stuck because they are both my friends. I've known (karen) longer but I know she doesn't care for him at all and uses him and his new gf is madly in love. Shes crying to me on the phone now all the time and I feel so terrible telling her to cheer up and that she has nothing to worry about when she does.

 

Do I say anything?

[uriel]

You don't know anything for certain. And, you don't want to get in the middle of this. Next time she asks, tell her that Karen is your friend too, and you don't want to be in the middle of anything. Say, too, that all you're willing to say is this: You don't know anything for sure, but that Karen and Eric had a strong connection before, and you wouldn't think it'd be out of the range of possibility. Leave it at that.

 

Then, call Karen and tell her what this girl asked you and what you said. Also, tell Karen that if ANYTHING at all is happening, you don't want to know because you don't want to be put into a worse position that you're in now. If you are, you might say something you and she will both regret.

 

That way, you've been honest with everyone.

 

-- uriel

[EC]

I don't think you should get involved at all.

 

In the end it will all turn out eventually.

 

I think you should tell Karen your opinion of her and what she is doing and that you do not want to hear or know anything about it because his new gf is your friend too.

 

That way if the new gf finds out you say you had no idea and technically you didn't.

[ziggue]

I agree. Don't get involved in this mess. You don't know the whole story. I think. Not sure.

 

I stay out of all my friends relationship problems. They have to work it out for them themselves and learn on their own the mistakes they make.

 

If the truth all unfolds just try be there for both of them seperately. Don't take sides.

 

It's worked for me. I have been friends with people my other friends don't speak to anymore. It can work. You just have too put the two relationships seperate from eachother.