idylliclove Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Hi, So I get it that everyone masturbates and that it is a normal healthy thing, but my problem is that I just don't really want to know when my fiance has been masturbating. I have caught him a couple times because he leaves the bottle of lotion out that he uses...not to mention it is my lotion he is using. It just irks me and hurts my feelings a little. I masturbate so I have no problem with it, but out of respect for my fiance I would never want him to know that I have been masturbating because I don't want to hurt his feelings. Truthfully, I sometimes masturbate to orgasm, because not always do I orgasm when we have sex. I know he is satisfied in our relationship sexually, but he is a guy and masturbation is normal and when I am not home and he gets horny he should by all means masturbate. Bottom line, I JUST DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT. So last night I was up late finishing some last minute homework & was exhausted when I was done, so I went into our room to get ready for bed. The bed was all messy from the night before and I like getting into an at least half way made bed, so I started to straighten up the sheets and covers and as I was doing so a bottle of my lotion fell on the floor. I immediately knew he had been masturbating, and this is not the first time this has happened. Anyways, I confronted him & I know he was embarrassed, but I basically I told him again, like I have many many times before, to just put the lotion away & I would most likely never even know. It just sucks the romance out of our relationship for me. I just don't want to know. It makes me kind of sad because we aren't even married and I feel like this is a time where romance still needs to be a big part of our relationship & it just doesn't make me feel good being put in that situation. Am I crazy for feeling this way? Or is it kind of disrespectful of him to be so careless to leave his masturbating lubricant (my lotion) out for me to find & then put away? Thanks for your input. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 1. You don't want to know. 2. You know it is happening anyway. How does you discovering the lotion really impact? Masturbation as a part of a/in addition to an established sex life really is no threat. I sense you know this rationally. You stated that you hide your solo sex from him so as not to hurt his feelings. I go wild to hear my other half has been at it, I don't find it hurtful in the least. What offends or hurts you about him playing with himself? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Or is it kind of disrespectful of him to be so careless to leave his masturbating lubricant (my lotion) out for me to find & then put away? Thanks for your input. As others have pointed out, seems a little contradictory to not care about the solo dance but care about the lotion. If you want to get even, leave a large, oiled-up and obviously used toy on his side of the bed ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Whatitistoburn Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 I like mr lucky's idea to get even and see how hed react. Itll probably turn him on anyway but actually, i am like you. Ive never found or suspected my hubby to be masturbating but im not sure if its going to make me happy if i would. But i dont masturbate myself. My hubby is not that interested in sex anymore and we rarely have sex so I really dont think much about it. But back to you, if it doesnt make you happy, you have to have a serious talk bout it with him. If i may ask does he do it often? Does he seem to masturbate more often now than before thats why it bothers you more? Could it be because youre busier now, out of the house most of the time or hes stressed out. MYbe try to get to the root of the problem. Maybe try to tease him through text when youre not home yet and ask him to wait for you before he starts, then you can probably turn it into actual making love instead:) try to rekindle the romance Link to post Share on other sites
Techie Artist Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Give him his own bottle of lotion and ask him to leave yours in place. Don't go looking for his bottle. If you really don't like that he's been handling himself, you'll be signing yourself up for the job. Jus' sayin'... Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 I think you are creating a problem were there really isn't one. Yes, you technically don't want to know that he has masturbated, but you also say you don't care that he does it. Pick a side and then decide if you want to be upset or not. Seems silly to me. Link to post Share on other sites
diipii Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Your finding the bottle was intended. Now ask him what is it he wants you to know. Link to post Share on other sites
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