How true is this for Indian men?

[gozunder]

Just came across a listing on Yahoo answers and it seemed so close to the truth, I couldn't resist myself from posting it here. I have been in the States for 8 years now, very social, jovial, funny, good personality, decent looking(biggest negative being of an average height 5'8") and indulge in good conversations. However, I NEVER could find a woman I could connect with in all my 8 years of stay in this nation, now it makes sense why this is true.

 

This is what one of the posters has said on Yahoo answers,

 

"I live in Chicago which has an abundance of Indians in it due to alot of major corporations. I do business with alot of Indians, and am also friends with a lot of attractive white females. I've also been extremly active in the club scene and have observed behavior. I'm sorry to break it to you, but Indians are possibly at the bottom of the food chain for what attractive white women look for. You have to be a 10 out of 10 in looks, great physical shape, funny and fully americanized personality, and probably have significant net worth and be willing to spend it on her. Stereotypes around Indian males are just too much for most normal Indians to overcome, and I assume you're normal because if you are the guy i just described you wouldn't be asking this on yahoo. Indians have a reputation among white women for being cheap, overbearing, possessive, ignorant as in not seeing other's beliefs and viewpoints, and not physically attractive nor able to sexually please. Again, i know these are stereotypes, but these are based on conversations I've had with many attractive females. And unfortunately for you, and me, most attractive white women are somewhat shallow once you start getting in the 8-10 range on a 10 point scale. Most white women are actually "grossed out" when approached by Indians.

 

I just can't give you any advice or hope that this is even remotely possible, at least in my city. I've done business with literally thousands of Indians and only once did I ever hear of one dating a white woman, and she was about a 5/10 in my book. Your culture is just too different from ours."

 

What does an Indian guy have to do to date an attractive White woman? - Yahoo! Answers

 

Now I see why a lot of women act as if they are grossed by merely being around my presence, while they would have absolutely no problem if a White/Black dude acted the same way, if this isn't veiled racism I don't know what else is. So all the advise to a man about having a good personality, demeanor and class are invalid if he doesn't even belong to the "right" race. Hmmm.

Edited March 23, 2013 by gozunder

[gozunder]

108 views and no answers. Seems like the Yahoo poster was bang on target.

[Gahnat]

Try looking around at past posts, it's come up. It's likely people are not answering because they've said all they could on the subject and it's been beaten to death on these forums.

[gozunder]

I didn't find anything too informative.

[NeoGen85]

Don't be discourage about interracial dating. A lot of things you read are based on stereotypes and people being prejudice. In the United States we have a very diverse culture.

 

But the idea of racism will never die. When you're pursuing a woman who's outside your race, that's one thing to come to terms with. There are people who still believe certain people have a "place" in the world and it might not be with them. But you can find some who'll love you regardless of where you come from or the color of your skin.

 

I've dated many different women throughout the past 7 years. Those who weren't black I've had some pretty interesting conversations. Some were just offensive while others were curious. Even with America being so diverse, I've learned that some people are more comfortable being in a homogenous setting.

 

One of my best friends named Supun is Indian and he's an attractive fellow. He likes interracial dating. We've talked about the subject before and have encountered the same problems.

 

1)It might not be the color of your skin but more so the cultural or religious background that some people might not feel they're able to relate to. A good example is where I live in Charleston SC; there's a strong sense of southern culture and I notice a lot of women look for that in a man.

 

2)Attraction. Some people might not find you attractive because you're Indian. It sounds racist doesn't it? I've learn that a few women will date me because I'm a dark skinned black man and others won't because I'm not light enough. lol

 

3)Some people prefer intrarracial dating. You can't change their mind most of the time. And a lot of people in America still grow up in a homogenous setting.

 

4)Others might not be willing to face certain hardships that come with dating interracially. A lot of that has to do with what other people think(friends or family).

 

5)Location. location, location. I can go to Washington DC and find more people comfortable about interracial dating than Wichita, Kansas.

 

6)My last is that people can be flat out bigots, racists, and have prejudices about others.

 

In the end just don't let it get to you.

[FitChick]

I'm wondering why OP doesn't want to date Indian women. I've met lots of beautiful and highly educated Indian women working in the US.

[jcrew11]

convert to Christianity and adapt to anglo-american culture - this will make caucasian women more comfortable around you.

[TaraMaiden]

I didn't find anything too informative.

 

Considering you're the one who posted the threads, and you got short shrift then too, it's hardly surprising.

 

Oh, you're a brand new "never been here before!" member?

 

of course you are, how silly of me.....

 

[taiko]

I'm wondering why OP doesn't want to date Indian women. I've met lots of beautiful and highly educated Indian women working in the US.

Since he is the latest in a multi-year line of Indian men asking a variation on the same question let me attempt. Western "White" women have a reputation of giving boyfriends sex without marriage. She will even go interracial and have sex with wait for it a Black man. Now why won't they have sex with an Asian man? Its not skin color.

 

Well partially it is because the Asian guy also has the reputation of eventually dropping the girl friend to marry the woman that his parents made arrangements for, where as the men of other races, ethnic groups and cultures the sex may actually turn out to be "pre"marital and not just extramarital.

[gozunder]

I'm wondering why OP doesn't want to date Indian women. I've met lots of beautiful and highly educated Indian women working in the US.

 

Where did I say I don't date Indian women? For one thing, there aren't too many Indian women over where I live and most of them are married anyway, so I don't really have a lot of choice though.

 

What's wrong with me trying to go after what the majority of women are out here i.e., White. Oh wait, is it because you believe in that social class system of putting down Indian men at the bottom of the barrel? Makes sense, were you that poster in Yahoo by any chance?

[gozunder]

Considering you're the one who posted the threads, and you got short shrift then too, it's hardly surprising.

 

Oh, you're a brand new "never been here before!" member?

 

of course you are, how silly of me.....

 

 

I have no idea what you are talking about, if you don't believe me you might track down my IP and verify if I had an account over here before this post.

[gozunder]

Since he is the latest in a multi-year line of Indian men asking a variation on the same question let me attempt. Western "White" women have a reputation of giving boyfriends sex without marriage. She will even go interracial and have sex with wait for it a Black man. Now why won't they have sex with an Asian man? Its not skin color.

 

Well partially it is because the Asian guy also has the reputation of eventually dropping the girl friend to marry the woman that his parents made arrangements for, where as the men of other races, ethnic groups and cultures the sex may actually turn out to be "pre"marital and not just extramarital.

 

My parents have given me the freedom to marry anyone I chose, irrespective of racial boundaries. And I am tired and sick of being alone for so many years too, so I wanted to go out and explore dating for a chance, when I came across all these posts online about how being an Indian man makes me a social "pariah". That's the reason why I was curious before I made this posting, looks like I will have to give up my notion about dating because based on some posters here, it's not going happen purely due to the fact that the majority of American women are racist and can't fathom dating a race of men they place at the bottom of the social ladder.

 

Sorry for being so blunt but that's what some posters like fitchick made me feel.

[zebracolors]

I surely don't consider Indian men "bottom of the barrel" I personally find many of the men and women I see to be quite attractive. And I can vouch for what NeoGen85 said, as Ive been to D.C. often and there is a large population of Indian-Americans, and interracial pairs are so common no one really notices.

 

Being what I feel is "internationally minded", I have gotten into local Indian social circles so I have the opportunity to meet many. OP I don't know where you are but if you get out there and put yourself into situations where you can interact with open minded people, you'll be more likely to be around and meet many woman who are attractive to you. Part of me wants to say that it shouldn't be about ethnicity, but I guess we can't help the features we are attracted to.

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm a white girl, at least cute and quite fit. I've dated one Indian guy and would date more. I live in Chicago and see cute Indian guys all the time. I'm getting ready to start dating again, and I'll totally go out with a cool Indian guy if he asks me out.

[gozunder]

I'm a white girl, at least cute and quite fit. I've dated one Indian guy and would date more. I live in Chicago and see cute Indian guys all the time. I'm getting ready to start dating again, and I'll totally go out with a cool Indian guy if he asks me out.

 

Hi Ruby, nice to meet you. I am very confident as a person myself although sometimes I do tend to get bogged down by all the negative stuff I read online. I live in Cleveland and have been planning to go to Chicago regularly over the summer, do you suggest any nice places that you know.

[Ruby Slippers]

Stop obsessing over negative stuff. All it's going to do is get you down and hold you back.

 

One of the biggest weaknesses of the Indian guy I dated was his negative, cynical attitude. He was a good guy overall, but he definitely had a cynical attitude. I've always been very curious about other cultures, and he and I discussed our different cultures often. One thing I observed is that Indian and Middle Eastern men tend to have very suspicious attitudes about each other and just people in general. Eventually, he admitted this was true for him, too. Most likely it's a product of people in those cultures having been exploited in so many ways - but being down on yourself and your own people is never going to get you anywhere.

 

You will also find, if you look around this forum, that it's VERY common for Indian men to post threads about how bad they have it, and those threads are just full of negativity and doubt, to almost caricature proportions. THIS is the biggest impediment I see.

 

Just accept that some white women (and people of many different ethnicities) will have an attitude about yours and where you come from. Those people don't matter. Just ignore them. They're ignorant.

 

I thought this guy had many excellent qualities - very smart and driven in his career, honest with strong values, serious about commitment and family, gentlemanly, strong and protective, traditional but open to new things.

 

As for Chicago, this is a fabulous city with many fun neighborhoods full of cool places. Summer is the best time to be here. The entire lakefront is public and has a lakefront trail, so you can take walks or bike for miles, go to the beach and go swimming. We have tons of excellent and very affordable restaurants, great music venues, fantastic cultural spots like museums, fascinating architecture. It's just never-ending. What are your interests?

[taiko]

My parents have given me the freedom to marry anyone I chose, irrespective of racial boundaries. And I am tired and sick of being alone for so many years too, so I wanted to go out and explore dating for a chance, when I came across all these posts online about how being an Indian man makes me a social "pariah". That's the reason why I was curious before I made this posting, looks like I will have to give up my notion about dating because based on some posters here, it's not going happen purely due to the fact that the majority of American women are racist and can't fathom dating a race of men they place at the bottom of the social ladder.

 

Sorry for being so blunt but that's what some posters like fitchick made me feel.

see that is how stereoypes work. While white women have the reputation of having thrown of the social norms of the past and of Christianity doesn't mean they are all easy And while you may be telling the truth about your parents overcoming the norms of their parent society the stereotype is that a man will say anything to further his goal to get her pants off. So going in cold you bear the extra baggage that you will not marry no matter what

[sunshine001]

Just came across a listing on Yahoo answers and it seemed so close to the truth, I couldn't resist myself from posting it here. I have been in the States for 8 years now, very social, jovial, funny, good personality, decent looking(biggest negative being of an average height 5'8") and indulge in good conversations. However, I NEVER could find a woman I could connect with in all my 8 years of stay in this nation, now it makes sense why this is true.

 

This is what one of the posters has said on Yahoo answers,

 

"I live in Chicago which has an abundance of Indians in it due to alot of major corporations. I do business with alot of Indians, and am also friends with a lot of attractive white females. I've also been extremly active in the club scene and have observed behavior. I'm sorry to break it to you, but Indians are possibly at the bottom of the food chain for what attractive white women look for. You have to be a 10 out of 10 in looks, great physical shape, funny and fully americanized personality, and probably have significant net worth and be willing to spend it on her. Stereotypes around Indian males are just too much for most normal Indians to overcome, and I assume you're normal because if you are the guy i just described you wouldn't be asking this on yahoo. Indians have a reputation among white women for being cheap, overbearing, possessive, ignorant as in not seeing other's beliefs and viewpoints, and not physically attractive nor able to sexually please. Again, i know these are stereotypes, but these are based on conversations I've had with many attractive females. And unfortunately for you, and me, most attractive white women are somewhat shallow once you start getting in the 8-10 range on a 10 point scale. Most white women are actually "grossed out" when approached by Indians.

 

I just can't give you any advice or hope that this is even remotely possible, at least in my city. I've done business with literally thousands of Indians and only once did I ever hear of one dating a white woman, and she was about a 5/10 in my book. Your culture is just too different from ours."

 

What does an Indian guy have to do to date an attractive White woman? - Yahoo! Answers

 

Now I see why a lot of women act as if they are grossed by merely being around my presence, while they would have absolutely no problem if a White/Black dude acted the same way, if this isn't veiled racism I don't know what else is. So all the advise to a man about having a good personality, demeanor and class are invalid if he doesn't even belong to the "right" race. Hmmm.

 

Have no clue what your question is.. I am half Indian and have never dated an Indian guy.. Except one or two which were just plain bad. Met this guy once at an event then a second time for dinner and he asks me to take him to my place to watch a movie.. That is not something I would expect from any other guy that I would date.. He just sounded too creepy. I personally would never date Indian men that much except one or two really good ones that I might come across. Have dated a half Indian guy who was totally confused and shopping for religion and wanted me to join in the bandwagon. Told him 'No, sorry not interested'. I get along well dating Europeans as I grew up with them. Each nationality has its pros and cons. Being a nice person I feel is universal. It just takes nice to be nice after all. Nationality/Race/Culture could be exaggerated.

Edited March 24, 2013 by sunshine001

[TaraMaiden]

I have no idea what you are talking about, if you don't believe me you might track down my IP and verify if I had an account over here before this post.

 

 

Oh no, honestly, I believe you.

Really, I do.

 

Truly.

 

Yup.

 

[FitChick]

Since you're having no luck, why not ask your parents to find you a bride? Perhaps they have tried but you rejected every woman they presented. Or maybe the women rejected you?

[gozunder]

Since you're having no luck, why not ask your parents to find you a bride? Perhaps they have tried but you rejected every woman they presented. Or maybe the women rejected you?

 

Why don't you go ahead and do the same? Or is it that you just give unwanted suggestions to people that hardly look for advise from bigoted people like you.

 

Oh wait that's because being an Indian man, I shouldn't have the option to date anyone and not go through the arranged marriage route, isn't that how your opinion of how I should behave according to my race? Sorry but I don't subscribe to the narrow minded assumptions that bigots like you do.

[gozunder]

see that is how stereoypes work. While white women have the reputation of having thrown of the social norms of the past and of Christianity doesn't mean they are all easy And while you may be telling the truth about your parents overcoming the norms of their parent society the stereotype is that a man will say anything to further his goal to get her pants off. So going in cold you bear the extra baggage that you will not marry no matter what

 

Where did I say White women were easy? I never said that anywhere in my posts, I merely said that since you are talking about them being rid of social norms of the past, shouldn't they be not too hung up jumping to conclusions based on someone's race instead of judging him as a person. But I guess that's asking for too much since as you yourself stated, they wouldn't be able to get rid of their own preconceived notions about people of my race.

[kaylan]

Oh cool. This weeks Indian guy thread.

[jcrew11]

What's wrong with me trying to go after what the majority of women are out here i.e., White. Oh wait, is it because you believe in that social class system of putting down Indian men at the bottom of the barrel? Makes sense, were you that poster in Yahoo by any chance?

 

If you are just going to judge women superficially by skin color (white girls, black girls, latin girls) then you are going to fail because it shows how little "game" you have.

 

There are mainly cultural differences that prevent you from dating white women. Also, your "bar hookup mentality" is wrong.

 

If you want to date any kind woman, find out what her interests are and spend time getting to know her as a platonic friend. If you are going to judge people by their racial skin color, you are going to fail every time.

 

Success in dating only come down to meeting Individual Women.

 

Unless you are a hugely charismatic "center of attention" guy with a player mentality. You are just going to have to focus on one woman at a time.

[taiko]

Where did I say White women were easy? I never said that anywhere in my posts, I merely said that since you are talking about them being rid of social norms of the past, shouldn't they be not too hung up jumping to conclusions based on someone's race instead of judging him as a person. But I guess that's asking for too much since as you yourself stated, they wouldn't be able to get rid of their own preconceived notions about people of my race.

You didn't have to say it, it is the unsaid point of the entire exercise of trying to find a women. Especially one you will never marry because mama and papa are negotiating with the parents of a single girl to join your families.

 

People of any race, when they specifically target some other culture it is for a reason. Now most men want sex, regardless of race. If sex is not the reason you want to leave your cultural group for a specific other group then what is it? Are you like the yellow fever sufferers who claim that Asian women make better mothers because they have not been "contaminated" by western feminism, in other words they have not rejected past norms and they may be able to find their very own virgin. Are you giving this trait to another "other group", White in your specific case?