GreySkyMorning Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 (edited) Nevermind. Decided against this post. Edited March 23, 2013 by GreySkyMorning Insanity Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreySkyMorning Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 It had to all be lies. It HAD to be. You can't love someone or ever have loved someone and let them hurt like this. Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Some people will tell you that you're right - it was all lies. And maybe they ARE right, but I don't necessarily agree. This may not help you if you need anger to regain your sense of stability, happiness (eventually) and feelings of self worth, but I believe every situation is unique, and because someone who told you they loved you, who showed you they loved you, then hurt you THIS much...it doesn't automatically mean they never loved you. I couldn't believe my ex-MM could do what he did to me. I couldn't believe that he could EVER have loved me if he could do THIS. And many people here think I'm delusional for still believing he loved me and meant what he said during our 2 years together, but I DO believe it. I KNOW he loved me. But sometimes the situation gets completely in the way. And sometimes the MM just isn't strong enough, or in a position where it's easy enough, to NOT hurt you. To NOT leave you. To stay with you against EVERYTHING that keeps you apart and causes this great pain you now feel. And maybe that DOES mean they don't love you ENOUGH to withstand all that. But either way, it's all about THEM and not about YOU. And it doesn't mean they didn't love you. I truly believe that and I don't care what anyone else says. I don't even know your story...so this could all be based on total inaccuracies, and I'm sorry if it is. Please post more if you need to...it may help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LFH Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Hey isn't it almost a day of celebration for you? How are you doing? Obviously not awesome judging by the hurt in your posts. I'm sorry it's hard. How can we help make it better? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreySkyMorning Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 Hey isn't it almost a day of celebration for you? How are you doing? Obviously not awesome judging by the hurt in your posts. I'm sorry it's hard. How can we help make it better? I graduated last Friday, fourth in my class. My brother and my mother and my kids were there. He and I had been texting a few times through that day. I hate him for taking that joy away from me. You guys said I would. THATS what I remember of the day, that he wasn't there and not being happy at all. We dont text now at all or communicate in any way. I'm hanging in there. Some days, I hate him. Some days, I just want him. I cry a lot. I'm irritable with my kids all the time. I can't seem to find joy in anything anymore. I even started on antidepressants and made an appointment with a therapist for IC. I honestly hate him for doing this and I hate myself for letting him. I hate this person I've turned into since it all happened. Link to post Share on other sites
LFH Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 I'm sorry you are struggling. I think that IC will help. Antidepressants do take a bit of time, but I'd encourage you to talk to the dr about those. Antidepressants don't help with sadness, they really only help with clinical depression. An antianxiety may be a better fit. (Not a dr, just know that some antidepressants are really overprescibed and incorrectly so) You just completed a major accomplishment. I don't even know you and I'm proud of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 You won't be this person forever. You are still the same person you were before...she's in there, deep down, underneath all of this stuff... It's a good step forward that you've started on anti-depressants and IC. It shows you DO want to be happy, and you have hope you will be. Without him. You will be happier without him than with him, believe me. The roller coaster ride is over finally. It may not feel like it just yet though. And I remember your story now. Took me a while. I don't know if he did love you. I suspect he did, in a way. But he didn't treat you how you deserve...with proper love and respect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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