Boyfriend cheated with a married woman. Should I ruin her relationship too?

[bried88]

The title pretty much sums it up. My boyfriend had an affair with the neighbor. She is married and acted so sweet every time I ran into her in the parking lot.

 

I'm heartbroken and furious. I know it's probably not right to want to ruin her marriage (like she helped ruin my relationship), but...I want to. If I were him, I'd want to know -- despite the indescribable pain I'm in.

[TaraMaiden]

Well, revenge is never sweet, really.

You'd need proof, or otherwise she may be able to convince her H. that you're making it all up, or something......

 

On the one hand, I hate lying cheaters, and I guess it would be a consequence of her actions - things some people never think about in their wildest imaginings.

 

But on the other hand, it depends on what their relationship is already like.....

 

How do you know he doesn't already know....?

[Apolodor]

No, it's your bf's fault, too. Had he been a decent human being, he wouldn't have cheated on you -- irrespective of how hot your neighbour is. Get rid of the stinking rat and move on. The pain will go away eventually.

[MollyMarvelous]

TELL HIM!!!! he deserves to know. wouldn't you want to!? it never just happens once. We all think we need to mind our own business all the time but if it were me, and we all say this, I WOULD WANT TO KNOW. Expect him to not believe you and for everybody to get mad at you, but you'll know you did the right thing.

[Darren Steez]

If you have solid evidence then yes the husband deserves to know who he's married to and whether he wants to stay with such a woman.

[Neffer]

Don't get involved. Why wallow in her sh*t? Seriously. He was as guilty as she was and truthfully, you need to just get away from this mentally, not revisit it.

 

What exactly would "revenge" do to help you? You would just be dragging this out. The wife is her husband's problem, not yours (anymore). Revenge or the illusion of setting the record straight is pointless. You would just be wallowing in this misery. Move on for yourself; F her

[LSTom]

The title pretty much sums it up. My boyfriend had an affair with the neighbor. She is married and acted so sweet every time I ran into her in the parking lot.

 

I'm heartbroken and furious. I know it's probably not right to want to ruin her marriage (like she helped ruin my relationship), but...I want to. If I were him, I'd want to know -- despite the indescribable pain I'm in.

 

I agree with you, I'd want to know and, yes, I would ruin her marriage.

[Bryanp]

Do the right thing and tell the husband since he deserves to know.

[road]

bried, you need to tell the BH. Exposing the affair is not wrong. What was wrong was the AP's behavior.

 

You did not ruin the OW marriage.

 

Her cheating did.

Edited March 25, 2013 by road

[Madman81]

I agree, do it. Tell her husband. It doesn't really matter if your motivation is justice, or just plain old revenge. The fact is, he deserves to know, for a whole bunch of reasons. Don't feel guilty for a moment after you do it. Remember, you didn't wreck her marriage; she did that. You were only the messenger, conveying a very important message.

 

Hell, by telling him, you may even save his life. This may not be the first time she's cheated on him, and who knows what diseases she has or could expose him to.

[pbjbear]

Stop redirecting your anger towards this woman. I cant stand it when girls do this...use all of it towards your boyfriend. He not only cheated on you but with a MARRIED woman...

 

I would tell the husband but not because of revenge like you stated. Id feel bad fo the husband and let him know...so he has the choice to decide whether or not he wants to tolerate such behavior.

 

You said it "ruined" your relationship. I hope youre broken up...dont be a weak woman who stands by a cheater.

 

I do find it interesting whenever this reverse situation is posted people always say "dont tell he wife she prob already knows" BLAAAH men

[pbjbear]

Funny... you sure have a talent to turn any thread into an "I hate men" propaganda!

 

A betrayed spouse (men or women) always have the right to know... not telling is not only wrong but a coward action...

 

Oh I agree with you 100%!

 

But unfortunately, there are many double standards when it comes to flirting and cheating.

 

I have been looking at this forums for 6 months and when the reverse case is posted, many do not feel the wife needs to know and it would just "cause too much drama."

 

Not personally attacking you animallover because I know you dont think that way, but it is what it is.

[road]

Stop redirecting your anger towards this woman. I cant stand it when girls do this...use all of it towards your boyfriend. He not only cheated on you but with a MARRIED woman...

 

I would tell the husband but not because of revenge like you stated. Id feel bad fo the husband and let him know...so he has the choice to decide whether or not he wants to tolerate such behavior.

 

You said it "ruined" your relationship. I hope youre broken up...dont be a weak woman who stands by a cheater.

 

I do find it interesting whenever this reverse situation is posted people always say "dont tell he wife she prob already knows" BLAAAH men

 

 

Revenge in not the reason to tell this BH.

 

Revenge is just a fringe benefit.