tmh_tmh_tmh Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 My husbun and i have been married for almost a year now and in the beginning it was sex all the time and cuddling and he just wanted to be touching me at all times and now it like i not even here he gos like 2 or 3 days without kissing me never touches me and we are lucky to have sex MAYBE once a week now all he dose is sit in front of the computer or the ps2 so even if i wanted to try and cuddly with him i can't i asked him one night about 2 weeks ago if he was still attracted to me (and of course he said yes what man will really yes no when a wife ask that ) he just said that he had alot on his mind and he was sorry and he start paying more attion to me but he has not done a thing different i am just scared that if this is how we are now what is it going to be like in 5 years Link to post Share on other sites
Haytz Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 Hi I have been married 1 year this monday. Are you doing anything for your 1 year. Honestly I wouldn't worry I am sure he is still very attracted to you. It was basically the same for us although I have always had the higher sex drive he would be happy with once every 2 weeks I bet. But the thing is he is probably just "comfortable" in your relationship. He knows you love each other and that you dont need to be all over each other every second of the day to show it. Everyone gets into a comfort zone and that isnt a bad thing. As long as he isn't neglecting your needs affection wise, be happy that he comes home every night and that he is comfortable in your marriage. My husband isnt all over me like he used to it is more the other way around it has been hard at times but I have come to accept him as he is and I know he loves me and is attracted to me even though he isnt kissing me all the time. It is kinda nice to be in a place where the 2 of you know where you stand and the love is a mature love and it can be just known between the two of you and not always has to be shown physically. Link to post Share on other sites
MarriageBed Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 It sounds like the honeymoon is over. While it varies with different couples, I believe it is common for the newness and excitement of marriage to wear off during the first year. One of the first challenges that most marriages face is what to do when the excitement wears off. Each of you have to make a decision how to handle the relationship as it enters different phases and stages. It sounds like your husband is beginning to withdraw from you. Sometimes this is necessary, as some people need their space and privacy. However, if he withdraws too much, this can also cause problems in your relationship. The two of you need to work together to achieve a healthy balance of time together, while respecting each other's needs for some privacy and alone time. If you have concerns about the direction your marriage is heading, share those concerns with him. If you have questions about his behavior, ask him. It is very important that you establish good communication skills early in your marriage. Open and honest communication is going to be essential to keeping your marriage alive. Learn the importance of communication now, and you will reap the benefits for many years to come. I noticed that you mentioned cuddling and touching a lot in your message. Your love language is probably "touch", in other words you probably express and feel love through "touching" actions. Gary Chapman has a book, "The five love languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate", which I highly recommend to newly weds. The book explains how people express and feel love differently. In other words, your husband may be expressing his love to you in a way that you are not understanding, and likewise he may not be understanding your actions. Link to post Share on other sites
CanadaGuy Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 That's a tough one. The classic line when a women asks you "do these pants make my ass look fat??"" What do you say, if they do, and you say yes, she will be pissed at you, so you lie and say no. Ask yourself, look in the mirror, are you still in the same shape you were whne you got married? Do you still dress the same (or better) Do you still do your makeup, as you did when you were dating? This should answer yur question. P.S. Alway look your best, stay in shape, not for your partner, but for you!! And they will appreciate it Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel62 Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 He may be bored. This also may be the real guy you married. Be creative, inventive, keep it interesting. Have fun again. Link to post Share on other sites
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