..Friend or more?

[LoveMyMalamute]

Hi All,

 

New here so forgive me if I ramble.

 

I have a male friend of almost a year. In Aug. we became hang out buddies. As time progressed the hang outs have increased to three times a week. We go places, do things, gym, art exhibits, hang out at his place, occasionally mine, etc.

 

As we spent more time together our conversations have grown to the point we have bared our souls.(Just about)

 

We spent the holidays together dinner and movies, to not have to deal with family issues. He gave me the most amazing gift of a candleight yoga session encased in rose petals, with meditation, ending with a foot massage, and chocolat. I thought at first that was a more non friend gift, but since we are both yoga buffs...it was amazing(yes, I went alone)

 

The past month or so things seem to be changing. There has never been sex, or kissing on the mouth, but it has changed from a hug and peck on the cheek to longer hugs and kissed on the neck and top of the head.(Yes, I hug and kiss back)Yes, I want more...

 

I sleep over sometimes now it's about three nights a week. I used to sleep in a seperate room, but a few weeks ago, he suggested I sleep in his bed, it was more comfortable.(No, I didn't hesitate a second on that invitation.)

 

We now sleep together non-sexual, small kisses on the top of my head, hand holding, cuddling, spooning, etc.

 

He mentioned several months ago, that he is not in a financial position to have a relationship at this time, he couldn't care financially for someone in the way she would deserve to be cared for.

 

I know he likes women of other cultures, and I'm white American as is he. I'm confused, it's starting to drive me crazy. I don't know what he wants or where I stand. I can't ask, I have anxiety issues and could never go there.

 

Do I ride this out, make a move, what do I do without verbally asking. I feel uncomfortable dating someone else now until I know what the hell is going on.

 

Don't know if this is any help, but both of us are single and over 50.

 

Thanks, for any advise! I'm so confused!

[ses]

It sounds as if he's comfortable with the current status quo. He doesn't want a relationship; he just enjoys the physical comfort of having a woman near him (and in his bed). I don't just kiss my guy "friends" unless there's a romantic undertone attached. He's not looking for anything serious with you. I would advise that you not invest your emotions in someone who's not ready to be committed. Don't let yourself rationalize his "friendly" behavior unless you want to be his FWB. Best of luck!