ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 So I was on FB a week or so ago and saw that the guy who I got involved with at 19 got engaged to the mother of his kid. Long story short, I met a guy at 17 we went on a few dates I was totally into him because he was the first cute guy who gave me attention, he told me he had a gf. I figured I could manage just being friends (big mistake!) I totally fell for him and he said he was gonna dump her etc etc.. Didn't happen. We ran into each other a year later and exchanged numbers and he was still with her basically she was like 5 months pregnant and I messed around with him. He used to talk so much trash about her and how he was only with her for their baby but he really liked me and he told me I was pretty lol in the end I took the whole blame for everything, and he got to enjoy being a dad and having it all while I had nothing (well looking back I had a lot and didn't realize it). He got engaged to her recently, I always imagined it would happen and I knew the moment it happened I would just die, because I hate that she gets to go and be happy and have everything I want so much but he has cheated on her and she still takes him back, I just felt/feel it is so weak. Anyways I am not dead, I literally didn't feel much when I saw it, maybe because I am with someone and he is AMAZING and I couldn't imagine him ever doing something like that to me. I mean I am a little jealous because I finally have someone great and I just know he is it and I want to move things as fast as possible because I am obsessed with him lol but I know that wouldn't be smart. On one level I can understand how my decisions and this whole thing got me to where I am now but on another it kind of sucks that she got this and I am working SOOOOO hard to get to that point. Does any of that make sense? No more being the other woman for me, EVER EVER EVER again, I am not a strong enough person for it at all! Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 This is why many people advise no contact. Dredging up old loves and keeping tabs on their activities can cause a lot of pain and questioning of one's life choices and life-path. Why invest that kind of energy into someone who is not really part of your life anymore? As you wrote, you have an amazing guy right in front of you. Another way of looking at it is that she doesn't have it better or worse than you, her life is just different. You are not comparing like-for-like. You are looking at her outsides and comparing them with your insides. You don't know her pain or happiness. Nor does she know yours. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Sometimes we need to go through certain things to learn lessons. It is awful that you were the other woman and I hope that you will never do something like that again. It sounds like this guy was taking advantage of your low self esteem, along with the fact that you were naïve enough to believe his lies. Obsession is not healthy. If you want to keep the good guy in front of you, I suggest you refrain from becoming obsessed with him. Learn to find happiness within yourself instead of looking for your self worth in a man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts