Facebook Cheating...

[OpenBook13]

Background...

I'm currently dating a girl for almost 3 months now, but we have known each other for about 7 months. We both say how much we like each other but I have not made anything official yet.

 

One night I was sleeping over, she took a shower and her phone went off. It was a facebook notification from a guy. Something along the lines of "thanks for this pictures, this will hold me over for a while ;)". This was 3 weeks ago.

 

Found out that this is a guy who lives in Australia(we live in the states) and they met when she went over there for her trip 3 years ago. They have been messaging back and forth in that three year span, and it's pretty raunchy sexting.

 

MY PROBLEM...

I really like her but when I saw this, it made me reconsider whether or not I should make anything official. I wouldn't like it if she continued this type of relationship on facebook.

 

-She doesn't know that I know about this guy, so I'm not sure if I should ask her about it or just wait until it becomes an issue.

-Should I make her my official girlfriend and see if she stops the sexting?

-What would some of you do in my situation?

 

*any feedback would be great guys thanks.

[Poppy fields]

You are not in an exclusive relationship. You violated her privacy by snooping through her phone. If you want to consider a real relationship with her, you need to come clean and have an honest conversation about your feelings.

[AverageCat]

Oh man, I've had a very very very similar thing happen to me. It's hard to compete with a "dream vacation" with a guy she doesn't even see and can only imagine... (Let me hint you... You can only build up fantasies with people when they're away and you're in contact)

 

Have you guys had any "deep convos" about past SOs, or about if you're seeing anyone else? If not, just open a convo one of these days and see where her mind is at.

 

If she doesn't tell you about him, IMO tell her about some girl you've met on vacation, or a friend of yours in another city/country. She most likely will open up... but remember for her to do so you should be very non-judgmental. SHE HAS DONE NOTHING BAD (at least in her eyes).

 

If you think this is totally unacceptable and a turn off you could break it off altogether.

 

Cheers,

[Neffer]

Bring it up directly (yes, you will have to admit snooping which is a bad thing) if it bothers you. Which it does as you are here.

 

She didn't do anything wrong so far - you did. So talk

[OpenBook13]

Advice above is a perfect example of why you cannot trust women these days. Chicks want to date multiple, slut around, and in the end still be treated as a lady and have guys chasing after them.

 

OP, use your common sense. Do you really want to form a relationship with a girl that juggles multiple guys including some weak internet relationship?

 

Even though I don't make it seem obvious, my common sense says don't to it. For someone who you spend so much time with, do you find it's hard to not catch emotional feelings?

 

Have any of you been able to separate emotions...fwb from relationship?

[OpenBook13]

Bring it up directly (yes, you will have to admit snooping which is a bad thing) if it bothers you. Which it does as you are here.

 

She didn't do anything wrong so far - you did. So talk

 

I am not saying she did anything wrong. From her perspective, it's just having fun with another guy from down under. She could be thinking that since we are just fwb and causally dating, that she's free to do what she wants - and she is.

 

There's no point in brining it up because we aren't anything to each other at this point and he's an 16hr plane ride away.

[Poppy fields]

I am not saying she did anything wrong. From her perspective, it's just having fun with another guy from down under. She could be thinking that since we are just fwb and causally dating, that she's free to do what she wants - and she is.

 

There's no point in brining it up because we aren't anything to each other at this point and he's an 16hr plane ride away.

 

If there is no point in bringing it up, then what are you asking in this post?

[veggirl]

She's not that into you if she is sexting other guys.

 

I'd forget her.

[ChessPieceFace]

You are not in an exclusive relationship. You violated her privacy by snooping through her phone. If you want to consider a real relationship with her, you need to come clean and have an honest conversation about your feelings.

 

Disagree.

 

She's acting slutty, regardless of whether they are official. What does this mean - it means she could very well be the cheating type. Don't blow your source of info by telling her you saw this. What has she done to deserve such honesty? Nothing.

 

If you become exclusive, check in on this sexting situation and see if it stops. Very easy and convenient way to see if you're getting played. There's nothing wrong with wanting your partner to be loyal and in this case you have cause to snoop around to verify fidelity.

[OpenBook13]

Disagree.

 

She's acting slutty, regardless of whether they are official. What does this mean - it means she could very well be the cheating type. Don't blow your source of info by telling her you saw this. What has she done to deserve such honesty? Nothing.

 

If you become exclusive, check in on this sexting situation and see if it stops. Very easy and convenient way to see if you're getting played. There's nothing wrong with wanting your partner to be loyal and in this case you have cause to snoop around to verify fidelity.

 

Thanks. Your post really helped clarify things.

[veggirl]

Yeah all you need to know is exclusive or not, if person A is into person B, they aren't flirting with or sexting other people! Period. After all, you liked this girl so you weren't doing those things, right? She's shady.