So Exactly What Is My Problem

[Pirate40]

Just curious what others on here may think is going on with me.

 

I'm currently involved in a divorce that I initiated. Wife and are are having a very difficult time in coming to a financial agreement. While I'm still convinced I have done the best thing in leaving I'm at times overwhelmed with guilt over how things have turned out.

 

To make matters worse I tried to start dating too soon after the separation. I work out of town in another office a few days every other week. I had been friends with a much younger girl in this office for several months. We would go out for dinner while I was in town, nothing more. Shortly after my separation she expressed she was interested in being more than friends. Against my better judgement with it being so soon following my separation I decided to see where it would go.

 

After three great dates she told me she thought she liked me more as a friend. She stated that I didn't seem happy with myself and stated she thought my issues were not due to the divorce but just me in general. Two days later she comes back and states she may have ended things too early and wanted to try again if I was willing. I once again against my better judgement agreed.

 

I was in her town 3 days later and she called the date off saying she didn't know why but it just doesn't feel right. The next night after I get back home 180 miles away she drunk text me wanting me to come over. I state that I'm 3 hours away and bring up the fact that she didn't want to see me while I was in town. Her response was "but I do now"

 

Needless to say this behavior is driving me crazy but I'm strongly attracted to her. I even told her I'm convinced she's playing a game with me which she denies, she says she's just being honest and her feelings fluctuate.

 

I don't know why I can't just completely break away from her. It consumes me. Maybe I liked her attention so much because it gave me some self confidence and made me feel good about myself coming out of an unfulfilling marriage. Now though I feel like a desperate idiot for letting this consume me. Maybe it's an escape from divorce negotiations. I just know this is the worst thing for me with everything going on but why can't I just break off all contact with this other girl and move on with fixing myself. I know this is not normal behavior and feel like I have a real problem. Anyone have any advice or insight on this?

[MsSmurf]

Uhhh yes she is playing games with you and uhhh yes you are listening to your little head when you darn well know better. It's time to tell the little head to shut up, go no contact with this chick, and start dealing with the emotional garbage of your separation/divorce. How you do that depends on what healthy outlet speaks most to you.... a meditation retreat? A therapist? A religious leader? A men's support group? It's your call, but the sooner you start really dealing with things the sooner you'll get to the bottom of what is wrong with you and fix it. I don't think what you're experiencing is abnormal, but it is clearly bothering you and healthy action is needed.