singlelife Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Maybe it's they excitement. Could it be the girl is bad also? Maybe the ladies can explain their point of view. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 If he truly is a "bad guy" -- some women think they can change him. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 It's not that he's bad...it's that he's not a pushover or a wuss, has some balls, is aggressive, etc, etc...all traits that women like in men. The best thing for a man to be is nice...but with an edge. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 It's not that he's bad...it's that he's not a pushover or a wuss, has some balls, is aggressive, etc, etc...all traits that women like in men. True. However, when you are pushing 40 & those are the only types of men you have dated then wonder why you are still single.......... These types of guys don't ever commit. Sure they will move in with a woman ect. but if she starts talking about marriage or kids or a younger hotter woman comes along they bounce. The best thing for a man to be is nice...but with an edge. I think so. Nice guy but only when the woman earns it. The one's who only seem to get with the "bad boys" will probably not go for you, but those women are damaged anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
apple OR orange Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 they think they can change them to be nice. The alpha male, they have him, no other woman does... The above 2 items are what thats all about (more alpha you are the more cars your destroy for fun Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 This is one of the oldest debates of all time. The bad boy has the traits of the vigilante hero, but is minus the compassion and kindness. The good guy has the traits of a pushover, but has human decency and respect. Ideally you want to mix the two. Guy with passion, drive, stands out from the crowd, fearless, but compassionate and kind hearted at the same time and doesn't treat everyone like crap. Many women want the hero, and the bad boy displays more of those traits. He's more of a thrill, and some think they can try to reform some of his less desirable traits. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Women like real men. They are in short supply. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 I admit to sometimes falling for some "bad boy" traits. Let's see if I can explain it. I'm attracted to confidence, even if it borders on arrogance, above meekness and passivity. So, the guy who will have no hesitation to swoop in and kiss you -- yeah, that's hot, as opposed to the "nice guy" you're sitting on a couch with for hours who won't make a move. I also find myself attracted to people who don't really care about what others think of them. "Bad boys" often have this quality. And I'm attracted to people who have some life experience under their belt and who have tried a lot of different things, even if that includes mistakes. But the guy who's only done what everyone expected of him, who's never questioned or defied conventions -- that's kinda boring. As far as the "wanting to change them," that's usually not a part of things at all when you start out. But over time, as you're trying to build a stable relationship with a future, yes it does become an aspect. If you're dealing with a wild guy, chances are you can't ever "tame" him and yeah you've got to walk away at some point. As others have said, the ideal is a mix of nice guy and bad guy. Going too far to one side or the other is a problem. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Maybe it's they excitement. Could it be the girl is bad also? Maybe the ladies can explain their point of view. No, it's just most of the guys aren't actually "bad boys", it is just your way of dealing with other guys succeeding where you fail. Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 I admit to sometimes falling for some "bad boy" traits. Let's see if I can explain it. I'm attracted to confidence, even if it borders on arrogance, above meekness and passivity. So, the guy who will have no hesitation to swoop in and kiss you -- yeah, that's hot, as opposed to the "nice guy" you're sitting on a couch with for hours who won't make a move. I also find myself attracted to people who don't really care about what others think of them. "Bad boys" often have this quality. And I'm attracted to people who have some life experience under their belt and who have tried a lot of different things, even if that includes mistakes. But the guy who's only done what everyone expected of him, who's never questioned or defied conventions -- that's kinda boring. As far as the "wanting to change them," that's usually not a part of things at all when you start out. But over time, as you're trying to build a stable relationship with a future, yes it does become an aspect. If you're dealing with a wild guy, chances are you can't ever "tame" him and yeah you've got to walk away at some point. As others have said, the ideal is a mix of nice guy and bad guy. Going too far to one side or the other is a problem. This is a good description of the reel men I spoke of. Link to post Share on other sites
c57dood Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I just club women over the head and take them back to my cave. Does that make me a bad boy? Link to post Share on other sites
camillalev Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I admit to sometimes falling for some "bad boy" traits. Let's see if I can explain it. I'm attracted to confidence, even if it borders on arrogance, above meekness and passivity. So, the guy who will have no hesitation to swoop in and kiss you -- yeah, that's hot, as opposed to the "nice guy" you're sitting on a couch with for hours who won't make a move. I also find myself attracted to people who don't really care about what others think of them. "Bad boys" often have this quality. And I'm attracted to people who have some life experience under their belt and who have tried a lot of different things, even if that includes mistakes. But the guy who's only done what everyone expected of him, who's never questioned or defied conventions -- that's kinda boring. As far as the "wanting to change them," that's usually not a part of things at all when you start out. But over time, as you're trying to build a stable relationship with a future, yes it does become an aspect. If you're dealing with a wild guy, chances are you can't ever "tame" him and yeah you've got to walk away at some point. As others have said, the ideal is a mix of nice guy and bad guy. Going too far to one side or the other is a problem. Agree. I'm not attracted to guys with really obnoxious "bad boy" personas. But I like confidence, drive and a sense of adventure. A guy I dated recently said, in an obnoxious voice, "i got arrested in high school for drinking vodka on campus. In costa rica I almost broke my ribs after driving an ATV 60 miles an hour. Does that make a bad boy." He meant for it to be rhetorical question. didn't last long. Link to post Share on other sites
SensitiveTJ Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 The main attraction in this pair stems from the insecurity of the "good girl." When a woman grows up with that label, it makes life easy, in a lot of ways. But on the other hand, every "good girl" knows that her favored status is entirely conditional. As soon as she steps out of line and no longer matches societal expectations, all those advantages go away fast. The attraction to the "bad boy" stems from his ability to navigate life while avoiding social conventions and expectations. In essence, the "bad boy" is the person the "good girl" truly wishes that she was. Since she cannot become him, she is receptive to his advances, and by forming the pair bond assimilates the attributes she finds desirable. By pairing with the bad boy, in effect the good girl adopts his "power" to disobey, rebel, and reject social norms. It's a matter of imitation; the good girl actually wants to BE the bad boy, but cannot. So she mates with him instead. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 It's not that he's bad...it's that he's not a pushover or a wuss, has some balls, is aggressive, etc, etc...all traits that women like in men. The best thing for a man to be is nice...but with an edge. And this is what draws me to "bitchy" women. "Nice" is boring. And we know what I mean by "nice". I dont mean just being good to people. I dont see why people over analyze this. Bad boy and nice are somewhat subjective though. A bad girl for me might be a run of the mill chick for another dude. I do like me a challenging girl though. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 And this is what draws me to "bitchy" women. "Nice" is boring. And we know what I mean by "nice". I dont mean just being good to people. I dont see why people over analyze this. Bad boy and nice are somewhat subjective though. A bad girl for me might be a run of the mill chick for another dude. I do like me a challenging girl though. I think the takeaway is... confidence, self-assurance and complexity are attractive. Meekness, passivity and self-doubt are not. As far as SensitiveTJ's thoughts that a "good girl" dates "the bad boy" because he possesses qualities she secretly wants for herself... interesting theory? I guess no one in this thread has really mentioned the "good girl" aspect the OP was looking to explore. I can't speak for the other women here, but I don't consider myself a "good girl." I was a drug addict at one point, I've been black-out drunk more times than I can count, had my share of one-night stands, have quit deadly boring jobs other people considered me crazy to leave, have caused my family some anxiety and outrage, etc. But yes, I can admit the male version of me would have pushed things even harder and crossed more boundaries. May be a copout to say this, but I think it's easier for guys to do. I have definitely dated some guys who I guess "admired" in their ability to take no bull****, disregard conventions, and be their own person. Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I hope this isn't a serious question. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Agree. I'm not attracted to guys with really obnoxious "bad boy" personas. But I like confidence, drive and a sense of adventure. A guy I dated recently said, in an obnoxious voice, "i got arrested in high school for drinking vodka on campus. In costa rica I almost broke my ribs after driving an ATV 60 miles an hour. Does that make a bad boy." He meant for it to be rhetorical question. didn't last long. This is not an example of a bad boy. This is a lame guy trying to be a bad boy. Don't confuse the two. Link to post Share on other sites
Archgirl Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Maybe it's they excitement. Could it be the girl is bad also? Maybe the ladies can explain their point of view. I dunno, I think it sux, I wish there was just a big cliche about bad girls getting the nice guys. But we don't. 99% of the time I end up with the reformed playas. What's so damn great about nice girls anyway Link to post Share on other sites
dchin1985 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I think its more about the experience that the bad boy has which attracts the nice girls. The ability to control his own wish, he doesn't put up with people's **** and he has seen enough to know what other person is after. And of course the stories of how he f****d up are also good stories to tell to kids. Nevertheless, the best is a mix of good and bad. He is smart, nice and respectful enough, but if the women crosses the line he is out with no explanation, yet he has no problem showing that he has a list of women lining up if you misbehave got it? Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 It's because they know what they want, and they go after it. They make it near impossible to resist them, with their aggressiveness and persistence. They generally don't stand by and check what we're doing, and if we like them, and second guess approaching us. Usually it's all just done, straight up. We love that stuff. We can't help it. I guess we all grow out of it, eventually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 It's because they know what they want, and they go after it. They make it near impossible to resist them, with their aggressiveness and persistence. They generally don't stand by and check what we're doing, and if we like them, and second guess approaching us. Usually it's all just done, straight up. We love that stuff. We can't help it. I guess we all grow out of it, eventually. What eventually happens is that every now and then, a nice guy realizes all of this. Then the "nice guy" suddenly has a lot of options....and becomes the bad boy himself. Link to post Share on other sites
camillalev Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 (edited) This is not an example of a bad boy. This is a lame guy trying to be a bad boy. Don't confuse the two. Never thought he was a 'bad boy'. Hence the extreme eye rolling and vomit-face Bad boys don't ever call themselves bad boys. Edited March 27, 2013 by camillalev Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Never thought he was a 'bad boy'. Hence the extreme eye rolling and vomit-face Bad boys don't ever call themselves bad boys. Haha yeah...they don't care enough to even think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
footballfan10 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 (edited) My answer from a normal guys perspective If you mean by "bad boy" confident courageous masculine guy (who also respect others and isn't some criminal law breaking thug) than I have no problem with it (women liking and dating them). If by "bad boy" you mean complete arrogant douchebag who is a tool to everyone like this guy My New Haircut: Original Version - YouTube Well than I think it's just stupid...And most girls who date complete assdouches like the guy in that video have low self esteem or something else going on. I think alot of normal (not overly passive/feminine but not overly masculine) guys hear women say they like "bad boys" and assume it means some testosterone enraged "Mike Tyson goon" and than they begin to feel insecure that they can't live up to this extremely masculine standard. Girls like masculine men but you don't have to be some enraged neanderthal getting into random street fights every night for no reason...Most psychologically healthy women like guys who can protect them if need be (and who they feel safe with) but would be turned off if they were with a guy who was just starting random fights with random people for no reason (not to mention that would put the girl in danger) Only a screwed up girl would enjoy someone who just randomly starts fights for no reason with random people every time they go out....That would be very unattractive to most girls older than 16 years old...but having balls and standing up for your girl when the time comes (aka the rare occasions when someone starts trouble with you) would definitely be attractive. So don't worry about being some kind of feared Mike Tyson badass....Just act confident and secure with yourself and don't let your girl disrespect you (and also don't disrespect her) Edited March 27, 2013 by footballfan10 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts