Am I a friend or is she hoping for more?

[abreed07]

Hi, so I'm trying to get some help with my situation because I am quite confused. This might be a little long too so I apologize.

 

Little backstory: I've met this girl in college about 2 years ago. She's since graduated and I am little less than 2 months away from my own graduation, still living in the dorm cause I have to. Age difference is she is about 3 years older. Lives about 3 hours away and is in between graduate school and career. Basically she's trying to figure out what to do with her life and is planning on moving to NY to pursue a PhD. I've only just recently gotten really close to her in that before we never really talked this frequently.

 

Let's see, it all happened the weekend before Valentines Day where we spent a lot of time together watching movies, messing around on the computer, going for a walk, etc... Our mutual friends were always busy so really she had no choice but to spend that time with me.

 

So two days after that she messaged me on Facebook saying she appreciated me keeping company and of course I responded casually. Then on Valentine's Day she asks me for my number as apparently I'm the only one among her friends from college whose number she doesn't have. On top of that she wished me "happy single-awareness day." Since then for about 3 weeks she texted or message me basically everyday. Sometimes it was only for maybe an hour or so but then other times it was all day long. Language was fairly playful but nothing explicitly flirtatious. Every time I would post something on facebook she would "like" it.

 

More so, one time I was about to go out to the bar and she said, "i have a date with two guys." I responded with "oh? interesting." then go Ben and Jerry (ice cream if you didn't' catch that) and she proceeded to say, "You really thought i hate two dates? I'm the last person who'd have a date." Of course I was stupid and said, "you never know! it's possible!"

 

Another time we talked about throwing a party for our group when she came back here and she proceeded to say how she gets cuddly when she's drunk, of course that was after I told her how stupid I act when I am. (we never really drank together).

 

So I think it's fair to say she was pretty in to me, unless I completely am misinterpreting this.

 

Well regardless of that, she went to NY for a couple weeks to hang out with some old friends. First week she texted me like usual but not quite as often. But from last week till about now I don't get texts or anything from her. Only really one occasion did she facebook me but that was after a day I had texted her. So for the most part I have to go out of my way to text her and our conversations were pretty short but they are still somewhat the same as before she went to NY with exception to her continuing the conversation. Her activity on facebook regarding anything I post has stopped.

 

She plans to visit at the end of the month or beginning of next and back in February said she wanted to stay in my room if that was okay with me.

 

So I guess my question(s) are:

1. Does she think I friend zoned her and is now trying to just get me off her mind by not really initiating contact or trying to get out of the friend zone before she comes?

2. Or does she think I like her but don't want to commit because of some reason so she's trying to friend zone me?

3. Should I just keep in contact for the next week and see what comes to fruition when I will hopefully see her in person?

4. Is it a good indication that texting everyday and sometimes all day is a signal that she wants me to ask her out?

5. Is there anything I'm missing or not seeing?

 

Also I want to say that the reason I haven't asked her out is well because I think doing it over the phone, text, facebook, any sort of medium is, well, flimsy and not really meaningful. So my whole way of going about this was to wait till she visited again but now I'm worried I missed my chance.

 

Anything else that comes to mind would be helpful. I realize it's kind of hard to really "read" someone's mind but at least I can get a general consensus about what I'm actually dealing with.

 

Much thanks if you made it this far!

[ITw]

She's actually given you some very good hints that you should ask her out. Pretty obvious clues. You're in like Flynn my friend . If you have to ask her out in person, do it the next time you see her. Do you think she's gonna wait for you forever?

[abreed07]

No, im well aware of that. But her wanting to move to NY makes me think as to why she would still be interested. Most people in that position choose to move on because LDR are just not worth the investment. That's another reason why I think I may have missed my chance.

[applej4]

Texting all day is an indiction that someone has too much free time. If you like her, ask her out - if not, don't. Wanting to move to NY and actually doing it are two different things. You are going on and on about LDRs and you aren't even in one. You're also making assimptions about committing and you haven't even asked her out! You read too much into things and you are overanalyzing.

[abreed07]

Again i think the biggest problem is waiting to ask her out because i rather do it in person than over text, so I'm basically on her time.

[Cutiepie1976]

No, you're on your time. Stop making excuses, and just ask her out already!

 

Sure I much prefer that a guy ask me out in person...but you let those opportunities pass you by. A phone call? Also good. But for me personally, cutting to the chase and asking me out quickly is more important than taking weeks or months to finally make a decision. I lose interest when things drag on, and I have said "no" to guys who took forever, even if I once was totally gaga about the guy. I need a guy who is decisive. Many women prefer this.

 

My advice is just do it!