Second Chance: Should I keep her or let her go?

[worldbfree]

Here's the basic problem. It has recently come to my attention that after seven month's of seeing each other my girlfriend cheated (by this i mean sex) on me just the other day. I found out when i went to grab here homework and a letter she was mailing to her friend fell out. In the letter she stated it felt good but she knew she was wrong for doing it.

 

She is very apologetic and it is soo hard for me to break it off because i love/loved her soo. She is begging for me to stay saying love can prevail. I do know she loves me though despite what she did because she just won't let me go after two attempts to leave her (mostly acting on impulse before thinking). Seeing her cry just breaks my heart she is truly sorry. I dont want too but I feel it has too be done because

1) Trust is shot

2) It makes me sick to my stomach

3) Her sexual history isn't exactly the cleanest

4) Had I not found out would she have continued on or was it a one time thing

 

But a side of me wants to stay and try to work it out because I still love her very much and she is sorry and she loves me (it almost feels she loves me more after the fact). I dont know however if she is sorry i found out or sorry she did it. She says she regrets it and doesn't know what she was thinking. I am freaking confused. She wants too change and start over. After much deliberation I am still at a stalemate. I know i gotta do what i feel is best but i just dont know. A little advise would be helpful, thanks.

Do you believe there should be second chances?

[IcedTiger]

Do not give her a chance, please. For my sake. I've been with my girl for almost 6 months now...and we love each other so much. But if she cheated on me, man, she'll be out of the door. we talk about marriage and moving in together and stuff...and if she's stupid enough to throw all those good things away just because she need some good sex. She's too immature and worthless to be my future wife. Same goes to you. You seem like a nice person with a lot of emotions, if you let her come back to you. Man, you'll be thinking about it everyday and it will just eat you up. Trust me man, what she did isn't cool and you don't deserve s*** like that from nobody. There's so many good girls out there would do anything for their boy. You'll be meeting someone soon if you let this one go clear. Have no doubt about it, so trust me. I'll send you a cheque of $12890 if you don't find the better one within a year.

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

I think if you reread your message it will tell you the answer.

1.She has a questionable past concerning her sexual activities.

2.You have been with her for 7 months and then she has sex with a

guy behind your back putting your health at risk.

3.You catch her on a fluke and apparently she had no intention of being

honest with you. In fact, there is no guarantee that she has not done this previously since apparently it was so easy to cheat on you.

She is now crying because she knows she got caught and you may leave her.

She thought she would get away with it. She made a deliberate choice to

spit on your relationship and screw another guy. When she tells you she

did not know what she is thinking is bull. She knew exactly what she was thinking because she deliberately wished to have sex with this guy and cheat

behind your back.

Of course she is going to be crying and saying she is sorry. You would be

quite foolish to stay with her. I agree with the other poster. Find someone else who can respect a relationship and a committment because this girl cannot.

[worldbfree]

hey thanks for the input. i do agree with the last two posts she did do it deliberatly possibly with no intention of telling me or continuing her cheating ways. she is very sorry but oh well...maybe because i am the one always doing **** for her and she'll lose that. despite how hard this is for me it has to be done right? if there is any second chance i would ever give her it should be further down the road if at all.

[reservoirdog1]

If somebody will cheat seven months into a relationship, then that's a sure sign that they're not worth staying with. Seven months is nothing. And if you stay with her and (God forbid) marry her, what's to stop her from doing it again? Plus, by that time, it will be ten times harder to walk away from her.

 

Don't waste your time. She's shown her true colours. Just count yourself among the lucky ones to have found that out when you did... I didn't find out the truth for 7 years, by which time there were 2 kids and a pile of debt run up by her.

 

You haven't been with her long enough to have developed anything resembling dependance. The time and emotional investment have both been minimal. Cut your losses now while they're similarly minimal.