sillychick Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 (edited) This is a long story and I'm going to try my best to tell it. I met a guy (who is divorced) over a year ago on a dating site. We dated for about 2-3 months and he really was having a hard time with his emotions and we ended up just being friends. He told me that 'something was missing' with me, he didn't know what it was but he wasn't feeling what he thought he should be feeling with me. At the time he told me that he still had feelings for an ex and even though there was no chance of them getting back together he had a lot of pain from that relationship ending and was having a hard time moving on. We remained friends, like best friends. We talk every single day. He helped me emotionally with something I was having a hard time with and we just became closer and closer. For a few months we would sometimes sleep together, more in a FWB way, while I was online trying to meet someone but not meeting anyone. We haven't slept together in at least 6 months at this point. and I don't think we ever will again. Those feelings of attraction are gone for me and I think for him also. O.K, so here's where the OM/OW story comes in. The woman he was having a hard time getting over was a woman he dated for about 1.5 years who was separated at the time. They fell madly in love, etc. She went back to her husband. She told him that she was only going back to her husband so she could continue raising her kids in the house with her husband. Her oldest is in college, her youngest is now a senior in high school. She will still reach out to him about every couple of weeks. IMO this is what keeps him hanging on. The more we talk, the closer we became, the more I realized that he is really in love with this woman and holding out hope that she will leave her husband once her youngest is in college this coming fall. I just don't see it. She's been back with her husband now for I think about 2 years. Yes she reaches out to him via email about every couple of weeks just making chit chat. He has tried to get her to meet him for coffee, etc. but she won't. They don't have any kind of friendship or relationship, but she does reach out to him to say hi and see how he is. I have NO hope that he and I will be a couple someday. I have moved on and I'm meeting new guys and dating around. As his friend, I am having a hard time giving him advice. He won't listen to any kind of reason and just tells me that I don't understand how much they loved each other, etc. Even his therapist is telling him that if he's not done, that he should keep the faith. My questions for you are easy. What do you think about this? Do you think her reaching out to him is proof that she still has feelings for him? Do you think if she was really working on her marriage she would be reaching out to him? Does this ever happen that someone is separated from their husband (she got her own apartment at the time, has her own lucrative job), then goes back for a couple of years and leaves again once the kids are both out? And remember when she went back to her husband her youngest was probably in the 10th-11th grade at that time, we're not talking little kids here. AND she was already out of the house for 1.5 years at that point. The kids were used to their parents not living together, etc. I just don't know what to tell him. Something doesn't add up to me I guess. He seems like such a lost cause and lately he's so mopey and I think going into some sort of funk or maybe a depression. He's not himself. What do you all think? Edited March 26, 2013 by sillychick Link to post Share on other sites
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