123321 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 this isn't true. if the girl is really dark but pretty most guys will sleep with her but they wouldn't dare take her out in public or let her meet their family. i'm so tired of everyone making it seem like color doesn't matter when it truly does matter. just look at the type of partners most black men have..the girl is always lighter I would respectfully ask you to not tell me what is and isn't true for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Look at me of course I'm not light. And even if I were it wouldn't mean I was mixed. I'm not passing anyone off as anything. But it's obvious you're trying to pass light skinned people off as mixed when its not the case always. I don't think you're black. Because of you were you'd know in eert family there's always light and dark black people. Some have more dark skinned people or more light skinned people in the family. But they're still all black. I don't think you're black because you'd know this by your family.There are light people in my family and they are mixed not fully black. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Look at me of course I'm not light. And even if I were it wouldn't mean I was mixed. I'm not passing anyone off as anything. But it's obvious you're trying to pass light skinned people off as mixed when its not the case always. I don't think you're black. Because of you were you'd know in eert family there's always light and dark black people. Some have more dark skinned people or more light skinned people in the family. But they're still all black. I don't think you're black because you'd know this by your family. The light people in my family are mixed, they aren't fully Black. I dont understnd why they wouldn't make me black by realizing this Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Oh and Kerry's not on the light side you're just really dark if this were to be at all true. Nothing's wrong with being dark but she's not light or dark compared to you she's medium. Kerry is lightskin, you're just on the light side and want to make anyone darker than you "medium". She's very light. And there is something wrong with being dark, quit trying to be PC. you're obviously trying to insult me Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 And there is something wrong with being dark, quit trying to be PC. you're obviously trying to insult me Actually I find it sort of hot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Actually I find it sort of hot. whatever. then why are most men with light women? I'm so tired of reading these comments from men online but IRL their dating preferences reflect the complete opposite Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 whatever. then why are most men with light women? I'm so tired of reading these comments from men online but IRL their dating preferences reflect the complete opposite Because a small minority of women are really dark? I've seen some REALLY hot dark girls but I've always either been in a relationship or (to be honest) a little intimidated. But then I'm as white as they get, so maybe it's different in different communities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Because a small minority of women are really dark? its because most people mate with light people to produce lighter offspring which reduces the number of dark people. i know in the blck community a lot of men seek out light complexioned women as partners so their children wont be dark. that's why you dont see as many dark black people as you used to I've seen some REALLY hot dark girls but I've always either been in a relationship or (to be honest) a little intimidated. But then I'm as white as they get, so maybe it's different in different communities. this is the problem. what is so intimidating about darkskin? most men will hesitate with a dark woman but walk RIGHT up to a lightskin woman and this is how we lose out. i notice men approach lighter women more often Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 this is the problem. what is so intimidating about darkskin? I'm not a beautiful example of a man, and I find extremely attractive women intimidating, although I'm getting over that now. It has nothing to do with the color, just that the extremely attractive women, including the dark ones, have historically intimidated me a bit. My recent completely inexplicable success with a few super-hot women is causing me to be less intimidated though. I mean, contrary to what you or others here might think of me I'm actually a pretty decent guy but I still don't get why things have turned around for me. Link to post Share on other sites
ana0pera Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 No, i don't want to accept how i look, I'll feel better if I can change it. When I lighten my skin, it really lifts my self esteem and I feel like one of the pretty African American girls on the inside. I don't like my nose, and I know its the reason why I get asked if I am from Africa. I hate to say it but I don't want to look like an African at all..most of the beautiful African American women in the media all have this admixed or mixed look to them. None of them look fully Black. And there are so many negative stereotypes associated with looking fully Black that I would like to escape the burden. Then when I go out in public, most of the guys are with girls who are caramel complected or lighter...so its hard for me to try to put up a front that darkskin and looking black is so beautiful when everyday I go out into the world I am clearly reminded that its NOT beautiful. Most black people I see with children are lightskin...most of the black girls who get compliments on their hair have soft textured hair or are lightskinned. It's tough being far from the standard of beauty. Very tough. I just want to be able to fit in more and look like the standard. You talk about "admixed" looking blacks hating on other blacks that look less-admixed, but here in your post I see not only self-hate, but hate for blackness. At least you acknowledge that these feelings are disgusting, I guess? There are a lot of dark skinned black women with non-black (and black) guys... Most of the BW/WM IR relationships I've seen are white men and dark black women. We are just going to have to agree to disagree on that. You have so much negativity toward who you are, and I understand that it's hard for black women--especially darker black women--to meet partners and have healthy self-esteem, but you can't blame it all on race and ethnicity. That self-hate shines through and others can sense when there is no (or little) self-love. That alone can be the reason why you are having a hard time finding partners. You can bleach your skin, chemically straighten your hair, wear weaves, get plastic surgery, and feed into this idea of a beauty "standard," or you can take active steps to surround yourself with positive, loving people who will help build you up and show you how beautiful you are. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I'd like to add that it's always the ADMIXED looking african americans who push me out making me feel like i am not a true african american because i dont have a slightly admixed look. they are the ones who are always telling me i look like i'm from africa because i dont have light brown skin and a straight nose What on earth do you mean "admixed"? Some lighter skinned blacks have internalized the attitude that lighter means more attractive. They are just ignorant people trying to make you feel bad by making themselves feel big. Stay away from those types. If you want to embrace your skin, try wearing colors that accentuate the darkness such as white or orange. I looked gorgeous in my wedding dress, so much that the seamstress doing my alterations said she was jealous of how my dark skin carried off the white. The seamstress was a white woman. It is all about perspective and self love. Be proud of your blackness! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Your brothers and sisters are mixed but you're not? Wow... I have second cousins who are very light. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 I'm not a beautiful example of a man, and I find extremely attractive women intimidating, although I'm getting over that now. It has nothing to do with the color, just that the extremely attractive women, including the dark ones, have historically intimidated me a bit. My recent completely inexplicable success with a few super-hot women is causing me to be less intimidated though. I mean, contrary to what you or others here might think of me I'm actually a pretty decent guy but I still don't get why things have turned around for me. why do white men cite lightskinned black women as hot but never dark black women if we are so beautiful? justin timberlake, justin bieber, all go on about rihanna, nicki minaj and beyonce as being beautiful but never a really dark woman. they dont even talk about kelly rowland Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 You talk about "admixed" looking blacks hating on other blacks that look less-admixed, but here in your post I see not only self-hate, but hate for blackness. At least you acknowledge that these feelings are disgusting, I guess? There are a lot of dark skinned black women with non-black (and black) guys... Most of the BW/WM IR relationships I've seen are white men and dark black women. We are just going to have to agree to disagree on that. You have so much negativity toward who you are, and I understand that it's hard for black women--especially darker black women--to meet partners and have healthy self-esteem, but you can't blame it all on race and ethnicity. That self-hate shines through and others can sense when there is no (or little) self-love. That alone can be the reason why you are having a hard time finding partners. You can bleach your skin, chemically straighten your hair, wear weaves, get plastic surgery, and feed into this idea of a beauty "standard," or you can take active steps to surround yourself with positive, loving people who will help build you up and show you how beautiful you are. Those people don't exist because the majority think lighter=better. I have never met anyone in my life who has praised darkskin EVER. No one has ever told me my darkskin was beautiful. Online lots of black people preach black is beautiful and talk about how darkskin is so gorgeous but IRL I find it to be quite the contrary. Lighterskin and loose textured hair is praised. All this black is beautiful talk is nothing but a feel good nonsense, people are preaching it but not practicing it at all. I am sick and fed up with it. I might as well try to alter my appearance to fit the societal norms instead of being in constant turmoil over not fitting the ideal. I have never been happy and comfortable being of a darker complexion. It has been a source of depression my whole life. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 why do white men cite lightskinned black women as hot but never dark black women if we are so beautiful? justin timberlake, justin bieber, all go on about rihanna, nicki minaj and beyonce as being beautiful but never a really dark woman. they dont even talk about kelly rowland I don't follow celebs but yeah, that Kelly woman is smokin. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 The reason you aren't getting dates is because of this and other threads. You're so wrapped up in all of this stuff, trying to figure out how you can bag one of these (I'm guessing hot/self-centered) guys who turn you into a booty call that you are missing out on guys who are genuinely interested in you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Seductive Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 My 18-year-old son is wildly into East Indian and black girls, if that helps. Boo. Why couldn't your son be in his late 20's? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Look at me of course I'm not light. As a white guy I don't get all this 'light-dark' talk. I'll go out with a girl if she's attractive, nice smile and willing to date me, color be damned. We can figure out if we have things in common later on, that's what dating is about. Guys are genetically predisposed to certain aspects of the female form (c'mon girls you know exactly what I'm talking about) and color isn't one of them... And yes I've dated black girls before, even took one home to meet mom, too bad her family hated me (they were a bunch of overeducated liberals and her father was horrified that his daughter would date a guy who drove a pickup truck). Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 @ MissJones Why do you only like White men? Why not hispanic, asian, arab, Indian, and african men? I'm just curious... Personally if a girl is beautiful, is nice/kind, funny, carries her self well, is a lady etc... I don't care what race she is. Now what I am going to say may get some flak, but I am being honest. A real reason why you do not see many dark skinned African American women with Caucasian guys is because a lot of Caucasian guys are not necisarly biased against black women, but do not want to date someone who acts sterotypical/"Ghetto". That lifestyle is different than what most white males are used to. And, most white men do not want to go out of their comfort zone, so they have a white female preferance, generally followed by Asian... and if they date someone really dark, it is generally Indian. It has more to do with class/ubringing and knowing steroetypes and wanting to avoid the stereotypes than it has to do with racism. With that being said, I've known many articulate and beautiful black women from a similar, middle class/upper middle class upringing, when I was in my first college... and yes, I would've gladly dated them if they had said something to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 @ MissJones Why do you only like White men? Why not hispanic, asian, arab, Indian, and african men? I'm just curious... There's a huge cultural barrier with African men. Asian men just don't do it for me and I don't know many of them Now what I am going to say may get some flak, but I am being honest. A real reason why you do not see many dark skinned African American women with Caucasian guys is because a lot of Caucasian guys are not necisarly biased against black women, but do not want to date someone who acts sterotypical/"Ghetto". That lifestyle is different than what most white males are used to. And, most white men do not want to go out of their comfort zone, so they have a white female preferance, generally followed by Asian... and if they date someone really dark, it is generally Indian. It has more to do with class/ubringing and knowing steroetypes and wanting to avoid the stereotypes than it has to do with racism. With that being said, I've known many articulate and beautiful black women from a similar, middle class/upper middle class upringing, when I was in my first college... and yes, I would've gladly dated them if they had said something to me. So, you are saying that darkskinned Black women are more likely to be ghetto and not lightskinned black women? Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, and Beyonce are all three lightskinned women who glorify that hood mentality, yet darkskinned women still carry the "ghetto" stigma. There are more lightskinned black women on reality tv acting ghetto than dark, dark women are barely represented. I find it strange that you say white guys avoid darkskinned black women because we are 'too ghetto' however your white female counterparts have no issues getting into relationships with ghetto black men. Why is that? Anyway, I think everything you said was kinda bogus because the white guy that I met was more into hip hop culture than I was,(I prefer R&B/Pop) honestly, whites are the reason why hip hop is as big as it is. They are the main ones filling up the seats at Jay Z and Kanye rap concerts. He was blasting Kanye West/Jay Z song. He isn't the first white guy I noticed doing this. You must be an older white person cause a lot of the younger white guys are very into that 'hood culture' and they are from the suburbs Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 There's a huge cultural barrier with African men. Asian men just don't do it for me and I don't know many of them So, you are saying that darkskinned Black women are more likely to be ghetto and not lightskinned black women? Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, and Beyonce are all three lightskinned women who glorify that hood mentality, yet darkskinned women still carry the "ghetto" stigma. There are more lightskinned black women on reality tv acting ghetto than dark, dark women are barely represented. I find it strange that you say white guys avoid darkskinned black women because we are 'too ghetto' however your white female counterparts have no issues getting into relationships with ghetto black men. Why is that? Anyway, I think everything you said was kinda bogus because the white guy that I met was more into hip hop culture than I was,(I prefer R&B/Pop) honestly, whites are the reason why hip hop is as big as it is. They are the main ones filling up the seats at Jay Z and Kanye rap concerts. He was blasting Kanye West/Jay Z song. He isn't the first white guy I noticed doing this. You must be an older white person cause a lot of the younger white guys are very into that 'hood culture' and they are from the suburbs I am not saying that that is correct, I am saying that is the truth. You can deny it all you want and come up with excuses, but the reason most white guys do not date black women (any of them) is because of the misconception that they will act like they are on a day time tv show! I am not saying that that is how all black people are, I am just saying that that is the reason a lot of white guys do not go after black women... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 I am not saying that that is correct, I am saying that is the truth. You can deny it all you want and come up with excuses, but the reason most white guys do not date black women (any of them) is because of the misconception that they will act like they are on a day time tv show! I am not saying that that is how all black people are, I am just saying that that is the reason a lot of white guys do not go after black women...you sound very out of touch. a lot of white guys are acting more hood than the rappers in music videos. you see more whites attending jay z concerts than black people Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 you sound very out of touch. a lot of white guys are acting more hood than the rappers in music videos. you see more whites attending jay z concerts than black people I'm out of touch? Re-read most of your posts/threads! I am just pointing out a fact. If you do not believe me ask most of the white guys that you say shun you! I'm sure they will give you a similar response... not that it is right, but it is the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'm out of touch? Re-read most of your posts/threads! I am just pointing out a fact. If you do not believe me ask most of the white guys that you say shun you! I'm sure they will give you a similar response... not that it is right, but it is the truth. the white guy I like went for a lightskin black girl. so I don't know what you're talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 A good woman is like a good steak, brown outside and pink inside..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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