ana0pera Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I'm noticing a lot of white men go for non-American Black women. why is that? I think a lot of black americans have baggage that non-american blacks don't have. non-american blacks tend to be more open to other racial groups, perhaps because there isn't as much tension between them and white americans, as they don't have the shared and complicated history. that said, i am a black american and i tend to go for (and get hit on) by non-american men, white or otherwise.i think they're more interesting and more open as people. i am not your typical american though, 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ana0pera Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I don't know if you are aware of this study, MissJoness and TaylorBe, but the outlook is grim for black women: Marriage eludes high-achieving black women - Health - Sexual health - Sexploration | NBC News But I don't let that get me down. It might be harder for us but that doesn't mean we should give up. We have to be more creative maybe and look harder but there are men out there who will appreciate us. Broaden your horizons, join online dating sites that focus on interracial dating if that's what you're looking for (there are black women/white men sites, and sites focused on people of african descent, PM if you want some links). I highly encourage you to look abroad too, my experience is that European men are crazy about black women regardless of skin tone. I'm currently in an LDR with one and even though it's super complicated and hard for us right now, it can work and you can meet someone amazing who really appreciates you for who you are, and help you see that you are beautiful 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I think a lot of black americans have baggage that non-american blacks don't have. non-american blacks tend to be more open to other racial groups, perhaps because there isn't as much tension between them and white americans, as they don't have the shared and complicated history. that said, i am a black american and i tend to go for (and get hit on) by non-american men, white or otherwise.i think they're more interesting and more open as people. i am not your typical american though, All over the world, blacks have had historical tensions with whites. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ana0pera Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 All over the world, blacks have had historical tensions with whites. too true, but i think that in the US there is also a lot of apprehension on the behalf of whites. I would presume that places with similar histories such as South Africa are the same, because both racial groups have so much direct contact. And it's just beginning to get tense in places like the UK and France where people of African descent are moving to those countries and making them more heterogeneous. Still, despite all the crazy stories I heard about racism in places like Germany and France, I felt totally safe and welcomed when I was in both of those countries and everyone was super nice to me... but it is very important to note that they knew I was American, and as a foreigner--an American foreigner--I might be viewed as "better" than the blacks from former colonies in Africa and the Caribbean. I remember reading something about black american athletes being treated like royalty during Apartheid in South Africa, while blacks South Africans were still basically enslaved. Absolutely ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I am black but not American. My skin tone is the same as TaylorBe's. Still never had a problem with white men not finding me attractive. Quite the opposite! Mmmm, I definitely approve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 TaylorBe I think you are very pretty. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaylorBe Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Being the culture I was brought up in I'm actually deemed to be very dark and to black Americans I'm not light usually js. Anyhow I had one more thing to say and that's you are the one trying to insult yourself. You could love yourself the way you are but you are believing the negative energy about yourself rather than the positive and that's not good at all... Also I know families including mine where dark and light skinned people are brothers And sisters. Js Amongst Black Americans there is this thng called a paper bag test... If your lighter than a brown paper bag your passable, more acceptable, more favorable by white america and if not well let just say you grow up wishing you were. When I was a child lighter black people use to walk up to me all the time and tell me how pretty I was for a Dark girl or how nice my hair was for a dark girl. hell I think I'm pretty period & not just for a dark skinned girl. Too this day people want to scalp me because they dont believe Dark skined women can have long hair. Those type of statements and actions stick with you and after years of trying to ignore them they began to take its toll... if you've never experienced them you dont know how hard it is to love yourself when your color is the first thing people see and they feel the need to point it out to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Well, I have experienced negativity and nasty comments about my dark skin and I STILL love myself. It is all about self-actualization and not letting others define who you are. People can make all the awful comments they want about my blackness. As long as I know I am hot and my husband worships my skin, that is what I choose to focus on. Link to post Share on other sites
CudLRoo Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Not meaning to sound shallow but I'm a pearly-white white guy and I often/usually prefer darker black ladies to the lighter-skinned ladies that are popularised in the music biz. I've always found that dark look very attractive, I think it's often race issues (not necessarily racism, more a fear of racists, ie. idiots who like to have a go at mixed-race couples) that holds people back, which is very sad. Life is still not as multicultural as it is on TV, but I'd date a nice, dark-skinned babe in a heartbeat, sod what anyone else thinks! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 I still wish I had European features. I dont like my nose or West african bone structure at all Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Do you have family that's got short hair? I know plenty of dark skinned black people with a lot of hair and they're fully black. Me too. I have very dark skinned female relatives with very long, thick hair. I don't think it's so rare at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I still wish I had European features. I dont like my nose or West african bone structure at all That's a more reasonable gripe I guess, because honestly I find dark skin hot but sometimes the big nostril thing just isn't that attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) That's a more reasonable gripe I guess, because honestly I find dark skin hot but sometimes the big nostril thing just isn't that attractive. this makes me very sad and depressed do you think the girl in TaylorBe photo nostrils are too big? Edited March 30, 2013 by MissJoness Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 this makes me very sad and depressed do you think the girl in TaylorBe photo nostrils are too big? The TaylorBe avatar is hot as hell. I assume it's a celebrity? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 The TaylorBe avatar is hot as hell. I assume it's a celebrity? the girl in the avatar has a wide nose. she has no european features. Link to post Share on other sites
Rael68 Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Some do, some don't. Some white guys will find dark skin attractive, some will have a problem with it. For me personally (white guy) skin color isn't a big deal to me one way or the other. I care more about other things. Link to post Share on other sites
TaylorBe Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Do you have family that's got short hair? I know plenty of dark skinned black people with a lot of hair and they're fully black. Hair is not the issue but to answer your question, everyone in my family has long hair unless they cut it off lol...Please read the article below I think you would get a better understanding of what we mean by mixed. Mixed does not mean one of your parents have to have completely different ethnicity from the other. You can be mixed because your great great great grandfather was white and trust me those genes can & will pop up latter on. You keep saying full black but due to chattel slavery in american there is no such thing as full Black (descendant of a slave) now America does have African Americans (immigrants Africa) that are non mixed with european blood. How Mixed Are African Americans? Link to post Share on other sites
TaylorBe Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 the girl in the avatar has a wide nose. she has no european features. Hey Leave my nose alone...its not wide thats just the angle of the camera lol I actually have a little button nose which I dont care for too much (hince me being strategic at how I angle the camera lol) Link to post Share on other sites
TaylorBe Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 The TaylorBe avatar is hot as hell. I assume it's a celebrity? Why thanks ... if only Californian men felt that way, I wouldn't be on this site lol Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 You and MissJones are just meeting the wrong men. As a black woman, the self hate on this thread makes me very sad. I stopped seeking validation from black men who only wanted "brown" black women. Best choice I ever made. Why seek approval from ignorant people? Link to post Share on other sites
TaylorBe Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I still wish I had European features. I dont like my nose or West african bone structure at all I do too but we dont and theres nothing we can do about it (well unless your willing to invest thousands of dollars into changing your appearance)...So How about you find something that you do like about yourself and focus on that...make that the first thing people notice about you I know its hard trust me I battle with this everyday... In fact today I had to force myself to be positive. I'm currently training for a triathlon and I've been swimming outdoors. when I took my bathing suit off I was sad because I notice I'm starting to tan my first reaction was to start using the indoor pool at the gym so I wouldn't be in the sun as much and get darker. The only problem is the gym doesn't have professional swim coaches to guide you. For about 5 mins I was ok with sacrificing developing my swimming skills just so I wouldn't get a few shades darker. But while I was showering I realized my goal is to complete my Triathlon, weather I'm Dark Brown, Chocolate or high yellow thats not going to help me become a better swimmer but the coaches at my swim clubs outdoor pools will... In other words you have to figure out what matters most to you and although the negative thoughts will still run through your mind if they dont help you accomplish your ultimate goal (dating a white guy) then to hell with them focus on something that will (doing activities white guys do so you'll have something in common) 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TaylorBe Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 You and MissJones are just meeting the wrong men. As a black woman, the self hate on this thread makes me very sad. I stopped seeking validation from black men who only wanted "brown" black women. Best choice I ever made. Why seek approval from ignorant people? I dont hate myself I love myself I think i'm the sexiest thing that every walked the planet lol...But it has taken me years to get to that mentality and I still struggle with it to this day based on the experiences I've had in my life. I'm just letting Missjoness know that I understand where she is coming from because I've been in her shoes I've been rejected by men, and family members because of something I have no control over. I'm just letting missjoness know theres nothing she can do to change her skin/feature so she might as well start loving them 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 You and MissJones are just meeting the wrong men. As a black woman, the self hate on this thread makes me very sad. I stopped seeking validation from black men who only wanted "brown" black women. Best choice I ever made. Why seek approval from ignorant people? I notice that it's 'lightskin' black women that black men wanted. I had no idea they were preferring brown. By the way, what do you consider to be 'brown'? Nia Long? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissJoness Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 I want to have plastic surgery so I can have slender facial features like Kelly Rowland. Those type of black women are much more accepted in society than the ones who have broader facial features Link to post Share on other sites
CudLRoo Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Awwww, come on girls, revel in your natural appearances, sod Kelly Rowland, she only made one good track (that Freemasons remix of 'Work'), she doesn't really DO anything of substance, she's 100% mediocre as an 'artist', why even aspire to that??? People are beautiful whatever their racial lineage is. Please reconsider all the plastic surgery shizzle, it's so sad and demeaning, one should not have to transform themselves purely because the media says so, the media is one damned massive parasite. All you'd basically be doing was slicing bits of your birth-given face off, just meat off a bone for a cause that is sooooooooooo vapid and ridiculous, more wasted money pumped into the passive-aggressive 'beauty' industry, they make so many suckers out of people, all over the world. Sorry, lasses, I'll climb down from my pulpit, was getting a tad carried away there.... Link to post Share on other sites
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