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My fiance is worried


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Were having a baby and my fiance is worried about our financial situation.

 

Its taking so much in me to keep from saying to her "This was your choice too, you knew what you were getting yourself into"

 

She was completely aware that i dont make a ton of money when she started dating me, and when she said she wanted a baby.

 

So now that ive gotten that out...im not sure what to do. I can only try to reassure her that everything will be okay. It really hurts to hear her say that. It makes me feel like **** about myself and my inability to provide. She makes more money than me.

 

I am looking for a better full time job and were saving our butts off. Its not like im not trying.

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The best thing you can do at this point is start a savings account. It will help you out in emergencies and that's the best thing you can do for her until you have a better job. Even if you can only put $50/month in, do it!

 

The next best thing you can do is start looking at improving your education - technical courses are great ways to become more hirable and valuable.

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How come you agreed to have a baby if you felt this way? It's not entirely on her you know. You're planning a wedding and for a baby, which are two major expenses now. Anyhow, now that you're in this situation you'll need to seek out other employment and look for ways to further your skills and job prospects.

 

Also from reading your other threads, you already have some other issues with your fiance other than the pregnancy...

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  • 3 weeks later...

You have to tell her how you feel about all this. It's not healthy abot you and your finance to think like this. On this way you engender bad things to happen. So think positive and act ;)

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Well, in theory you should be financially secure before you have a baby...

But ya kinda screwed the pooch on that one. You need to tell your wife hour you feel. Financially I'd suggest not having a wedding. Get married in a courthouse with a few close friends and family. There are more important things to worry about.

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Pregnant women tend to worry more, and if there is even a shadow of reason, then she will worry. Thats normal. Do as much as you can, work, learn, save, support her emotionally.

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Don't let her worry too much or at least see you worry too. You can't risk the time to earn and save while you have your work now by simply getting out of it and look for another one. Don't let pride eat you up. If she's paid higher than you then be it. It will be a challenge for you in the near future. But for the meantime, let her feel that you are really trying to find ways that could make things better for the both of you. Be with her not just physically but also emotionally. BTW, congratulations!

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