sadangel Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 Hi I am new , but i just wanted to share my story and hopefully get some advise. A few years back my husband n i separated because he was being very abusive to me. during the time we were apart i started seeing a guy from work that i had a crush on before . Well about 2 months later the guy from work stops calling me and doesn't want to talk to me anymore , i really liked him allot but i did not understand what i had done. Anyway to make it short he had started going back out with his ex girl who also happens to be his first girlfriend. During this time he was an a hole to me at work . For some reason i still could not get over this guy it was like i was obsessed, and also i have never been rejected by any other guy in my life so my self esteemed really suffered. Well eventually i went back with my ex-husband. Even thou i was back with my ex-husband and were somehow happy, i could not stop thinking of this guy. All i wanted was to be with him. Anyway some 3 years later my ex-husband n i separate again, and this time i knew there was no going back n i filed for divorce real quick. Well the guy from work n i start dating again some time after that n this time is really different he was more mature and i knew that he was really falling for me , we eventually moved in togeather and i have never been that happy in my entire life. He later asked me to marry him and i accept we set a wedding date of a year later but after a few months i get pregnant . So we got marry right away instead. now the problem now is that i keep having flash backs of what he did to me back then , and its driving up the wall,. Nothing i do seems to help those thought go away not even seeing a picture of her and realizing that this girl was not only ugly on the inside from what he says but from what i see also on the outside. Sorry so long please some one tell me what i should do. Am i just being childish and living in the past? Link to post Share on other sites
prevch Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 well it depends. on you truly happen now other than the spiteful feelings? Is this guy really committed to you? One thing that happens in life to everybody is that everyone screws up from time to time. Maybe he just treated you the way he treated you so he could eventually get over you. If you really love him and he really loves you then I would say forgive and forget. It is really hard but hey life is not fair and a huge part of a good relationship is forgiveness. If you knwo that he is the one then I would say forgive him. If you're not sure maybe you should take a short break or soemthing, but as you know RARELY is the grass greener on the other side. Ultimately it's up to you but if you really love him forgive him and start a wonderful fulfilling life together~! Love God, Prevch Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 He sounds like he did the right thing by you now. I agree with prev....live life NOW not THEN...enjoy what you have.......trust me...you never know when you wont have it. Dont worry....be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
prevch Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 me and back are homeboys take it from us Link to post Share on other sites
Author sadangel Posted September 13, 2004 Author Share Posted September 13, 2004 Thanks so much for the advice. I know you are both right he has been nothing but wonderful to me since we got back togeather, i couldnt ask for a better husband now n i know he is totally comitted to me . However is just so hard for me to forget sometimes. I just hope all this negative thoughts leave me eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Breathe Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 He chose YOU. YOU are married to him. YOU have his child. Not this OW. He knew she wasn't what he wanted as he's not with her. We all have a past with other people than that of just our spouse. Would you want him to be obsessed with your ex? You need to let this go. You have already won this man over. Link to post Share on other sites
Butchey Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 Cut the guy some slack and let him know how you feel. You may be suprised to hear what he has to say. Honesty always wins. Link to post Share on other sites
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