tryingtobehappy Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 This summer has been horrible!!! I was dating a man 11 years older then me, he was still separated from his wife while we were dating and has two kids. He called one day asking if I would go to him to a work related event, I thought he just needed someone to go with and didn’t even consider it to be a real date, we had a wonderful time and went out later on that week. It turned out to be an 8 month relationship that ended this June. He left me, out of the blue, we never fought, and we talked multiple times everyday, we e-mailed each other all day long. I was heartbroken when it happened. His anniversary with his wife was a week before he dumped me, he had to see her for his kids communion and then later that week on there b-day party, I think he finally realized how sad he was that the marriage was ending because of the few times we talked about it he seemed in denial about the events. (she left him he was perfectly happy) of course he never said this to me, he just called up on Saturday morning after not calling Friday night, which was the first time he has never called me, he told me he was confused that “she (his wife) was so nice to him” then he said his kids are waking up and he had to go. It was the oddest conversation and I new something was up, Sunday he called and acted normal, I asked him if he still wanted me to come over Monday and he said yes, I was sooo relived thinking that things were going to be ok, then Monday when I called to tell him I was leaving, as I drove down my street I saw him run across from my park (he lives 40 min away from me and I didn’t want me driving home that far after he ended it) he cried the whole time, and said he thinks my feelings for him are stronger then what he feels for me. I called him later on that night when the shock wore off, I was in tears, he was crying harder then me, he said I was everywhere in the house, but he was going to change his mind. He told me I made him so happy; he was just all over the place. Since the break-up he calls me I would say once a week, I never cal l him (except on his b-day). When we talk the conversation is normally great, we just talk about his work, family. He called me the day he got divorced to tell me all about it. We e-mail each other, it’s becoming less frequently but we do. One time he called me to tell me he was down the street from my second job with his two kids (I have never met them) and wanted to see if I was working so they could stop by! (I wasn’t working that day) I have only seen him twice since the breakup when he came into my work to take out my bosses. Well I have been ok with the “friend” thing that we have been trying out. Up until this weekend, he was supposed to go golfing with me at a work tournament we had planed it about a month ago and he canceled because his kids first soccer game was this Sunday and he is the coach, he said he really wanted to go…blah blah blah, I was fine with this, his kids have been through a lot and understood where his priorities lie. But a guy I worked with asked someone else why he wasn’t going and he said “maybe the new girl has him whipped” ok I may be totally reading in to this comment because the guy that made it is always trying to say something funny, but, it made me think he might be dating someone new. I found out about this comment thru a work friend and my heart stopped, My ex is friends with a lot of people from my work, and this was the only indication that he may be seeing someone else, the one guy who made the comment I am not close enough to ask, and I don’t want to seem pitiful and I know he would back and tell my ex that I was asking. So I looked up online and saw that he does have a soccer game this Sunday, you think I would be relieved but I am still wondering if he is dating someone new, I feel like my heart has been broken again. Do you think I ever have a chance with him again or should I just let him go? I don’t know if the contact thing is healthy for me but I don’t know how to stop it. Writing all this down made me cry. God I want to feel whole again. Link to post Share on other sites
ready2moveon26 Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 You need to let him go because even if you get back together, you'll never fully trust him because he's hurt you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
addie Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 i agree with the previous post. you have trusted, waited, and now been hurt. from your post you sound like a very sensible, caring person. maybe after a little bit of time you can find someone to appreciate these qualities of yours that he doesn't. good luck, heartache is the worst pain of all. Link to post Share on other sites
netrie Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Originally posted by tryingtobehappy This summer has been horrible!!! Do you think I ever have a chance with him again or should I just let him go? I don’t know if the contact thing is healthy for me but I don’t know how to stop it. Writing all this down made me cry. God I want to feel whole again. STOP COMPLETELY. NO CONTACT RULE!!!!!!!!!!!! I went through a similar experience. Too much drama and ten months later! God, I thought I was smarter than that too... It happens to the best of us; creeps up like a sneaky snake and Bam! we are caught in someone elses drama. GET OUT QUICKLY. CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER. Heal and feel and let it out ------ cry your heart out til you can no more but stay clear of him. Get yourself back. Mental health first... Remember, No contact with him at all until MAYBE you are balanced in 6 months away from him. No email either. My advice, Netalia it gets better... Link to post Share on other sites
netrie Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 i did it and it works; change phone number asap. Link to post Share on other sites
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