Amelie1980 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Who is secretly holding out hope while they try to get over it? I'm guilty of it!!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope737 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Even though I know it's well and truly over, I too have a bit of hope in the back of my mind. Day by day though I'm improving and very SLOWLY learning to let go of her. She was my best friend, my lover and my rock but I have to remember I had a life before her and I will live life after her. Keep strong my friend and look forward to the future! There's a vast and exciting world out there! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Guilty as charged. Been in NC for 5 and a half months, but I still hold out hope that she will come back although now I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not now :/ Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Who is secretly holding out hope while they try to get over it? I'm guilty of it!!!!! I think everyone does...However, the reality is that holding out hope is really going to hold you back from the process of healing. I prefer to look at it like, I am going to do my best, look after myself, so that IF the possibility exists then I am going to be ready. But dont hang on it... TFOY 5 Link to post Share on other sites
destroyed4sho Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I think we all are even if its so small. I dont have much left mostly because I felt our last communication wiped it off the table...a good thing. Then anything left after that I have wiped off myself. Hope sux!!! I will never take her back even if she begged and moved mountains for me. Its been too long... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 (edited) I have killed all hope. Plus I wouldnt take her back now. Hmm I guess I have some hope i can reject her at some point down the road. But this will go away soon. Just my ego. Time to enjoy being single and new adventures!! Rock On! Cav Edited March 27, 2013 by cavalier99 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Compromize Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Raises hand sheepishly.... I still have hope even though I try not to hold onto it. It's very hard to get rid of the hope even though I know it will keep me from truly healing and moving on. In my case, our realtionship did not end because of cheating or falling out of love with each other. It ended due to circumstances with our kids and a common, attainable future and actually living together. I waited for years and was told I would need to wait many many more years of only seeing each other "when we can" and most likely without our children. Even though she knew this wasn't what I wanted and why we are now broke up, A large part of me feels like just being able to see her for even that small amount of time was infinitely better and far more satisfying than my life without her in it. I know a big part of that is the lonliness talking but I really and truly love her. I know this is holding me back from healing but I can't kill all hope yet. It dies a little more each day that I "wait" for her though. Not really waiting but not ready to put myself back out there yet. I have a lot of mending and building to do. Missing her sucks but nothing I can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Own Worst Enemy Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Although in my defence he propagated that by making it a sexless relationship and saying that things might be different if I changed my appearance. Tried to move on and do a bit of dating. Getting on very well with this new guy, a vague dabble into the murky world of online dating. Supposed to be meeting tonight for the first time. He emails this morning - he's been thinking - we'd make really good best friends. F. M. L. Back to pining over the ex....... Link to post Share on other sites
all_cats_rgray Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 does the person who broke it off have any hope whatsoever ? or is it all onde sided from the dumpee Ill answer that with a question; How many dumper's are on here, talking about how they want to be with their ex? NONE cause they would be if they wanted to be. fml .. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amelie1980 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 Ill answer that with a question; How many dumper's are on here, talking about how they want to be with their ex? NONE cause they would be if they wanted to be. fml .. Fml ? what does that mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Compromize Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 FML = Fu@k My Life Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Fml ? what does that mean? Fyck my life.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amelie1980 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 FML = Fu@k My Life I love it. That's exactly how I feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cogee Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Ill answer that with a question; How many dumper's are on here, talking about how they want to be with their ex? NONE cause they would be if they wanted to be. fml .. That's because it takes a long time for the dumper to want the dumpee back, and by then the dumpee has changed/moved on. Those are pretty simple to handle: dumper wants them back but they are taken/moved on therefore nothing they can do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I was guilty of it for 5 weeks after the split. After that, done. Hope will ruin you. Especially if it's been months and months. It's kind of like, you gotta stop already. Sitting around hoping someone who doesn't want you comes back is horrible. You waste your life. You stay depressed and miserable. Instead you could be out living life, being happy, being productive, growing as an individual. Remaining in this limbo does nothing for you. Aren't you sick of being sad already? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisC81 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Me, but for all the wrong reasons. Our break up was ugly and nasty. I wont get in detail, but the damage is done so to speak. I know in my heart its over, even though I do still love him. If he were to come back, it would make me feel good knowing he saw he made a mistake. But in the end that is for me and my own satisfaction. I would reject any offer to reconcile, as things would NEVER be the same, and I am definitely not holding my breath that he will be back anyway. You have to remind yourself it is truly over and they will not be returning. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I love it. That's exactly how I feel. I dont. No more defeatist crap. Cav Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I dont. No more defeatist crap. Cav Cav what is even more sad about that statement, is Amelie is not even in her early 20's..At least you could then say she was being young and silly... Your a great girl Amelie, I find this all very sad.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Own Worst Enemy Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 In my early 20's, this sort of stuff bounced right off me - it was easy to go out and meet someone else. By mid-30's, things just ain't so rosy for girls, or not in my experience! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amelie1980 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 In my early 20's, this sort of stuff bounced right off me - it was easy to go out and meet someone else. By mid-30's, things just ain't so rosy for girls, or not in my experience! Thank you!!!! When I had a BU or 2 in my 20's I was ok very quickly. over it in a few weeks. BU's do not get easier ad you age. They get worse. By my age you wonder if you will be alone and barren forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 for me it comes down to the right attitude, not what age you are.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I'd like to get back together, but I'll be fine if I don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amelie1980 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 for me it comes down to the right attitude, not what age you are.. Youre a man. Nothing stopping you having kids over 40 Link to post Share on other sites
imconfused13 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I'm very much holding on to hope. I know she has things to work out, and I am trying to be repectful of that. I hope we will end up together again but, because I truly love her, all I want is for her to be happy, even if it's not with me. That would make me sad, but sometimes love hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Youre a man. Nothing stopping you having kids over 40 That's fair enough Amelie, but who does moping and pining for a guy who was clearly never right for you help you going forward? I guess this is lost on me.. Surely to let him go and have a PMA going forward, gives you the best chance of getting what you crave? Or is the towel well and truly thrown in? Link to post Share on other sites
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