What do you think?

[confusedsoul1]

So recently me and my girlfriend of 3 years had a bit of a falling out. I had noticed she'd become quite distant in the recent week and it drew a red flag for me. It turns out she was talking to another guy from her home country who she hadn't seen in almost 5 years. This man just so happens to be her first love but they never dated or became intimate (only kissed). After going through some of their conversations (all of which took place on a hidden texting application she downloaded to her phone) I had noticed that this was no "friendly talking". Some of the things said were: "I want you so badly.. I want you too", "I want to come visit you so badly", "I miss you.. even after 5 years I still have feelings for you" and it even went as far as the male telling her he wants to marry her. She also sent him pictured in her bra and panties. Anyways she blamed me for this and said I was lacking romance and the way that he spoke to her made her feel good about herself. She told me she didn't want to stop speaking with him and would not tell him off. Instead she just deleted the application and said it doesn't matter what she wants, shes not going to talk to him anymore. I still haven't been able to cope with just letting this go but I've been trying to.

 

The days following this fight seemed to be getting better but it seemed as if no matter how much attention I received from her it wasn't enough. Given it was probably because the only time we got to spend together was basically only at the gym. Due to our work schedules, our time is always very limited and we go to the gym early, then I drop her off at home right after and don't see her again until the next day to repeat that same routine. Her only days off are Tuesday and Saturday and mine are Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She is a waitress and works very late on Friday... up until about 2am Saturday morning. Then she comes to my house to spend the night which normally entails her getting here and passing right out. My problem is even with all that's just gone on in the last week and a half, shes deciding to take on more hours at work and even babysit a neighbors kid. For example she just told me today she agreed to work a double tomorrow so we can't even goto the gym and shes not going to be out of work until midnight-1am. She also decided to take on babysitting this Saturday as well. I guess my question is should I be looking at this as a sign? I mean she seems happier to be with me than ever before and actually complains about the work she agreed to take on but all we've been talking about it getting better and closer and she seems to not have the time to do so. Is it normal to feel so unimportant in a situation like this and do you think I'm wrong to think that this is a little screwed up?

 

Edit: I also forgot to mention that her workplace is full of co-workers who constantly try to take her out, ask for kisses, and do other inappropriate things. She told me that because I couldn't let go of the online affair easily that I was smothering her and completely flipped the blame on me. I agreed to try to not bring it up but now I feel like if I bring up the work situation shes going to tell me I'm smothering her again

Edited March 27, 2013 by confusedsoul1
added

[Treasa]

Find a girl who doesn't gaslight you when you catch her doing something inappropriate. Also, don't snoop...unless you have serious reasons to not trust someone.