Wierdo Posted December 2, 2000 Share Posted December 2, 2000 i posted this message before but this is a revised version. So i have been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years. She is at colleg i am at home. There is this girl that i think is pretty but i have never talked to before but she always catches my eye when i see her. Well the girlfriend that i am with is the only girl i have ever dated. I think i might want to tell her that i want to see other people for a time and see if i like or wan to go out with anybody else. Is this a good idea? Also i think my girlfriend would be crushed if i told her this. So what do i do!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 2, 2000 Share Posted December 2, 2000 Girls don't give guys leaves of absense to see other people. If you break up with her, it will be a permanent thing unless the two of you get back together at some future time. Since she is your first girlfriend and you now have wandering eyes, it is probably best to free up your current girlfriend to see other people as well. If you thought she was the ONE for you, you would not feel a need to see other people. Also, her being away at college is very difficult for both of you and she may even appreciate the opportunity of being able to date guys at her college (if she hasn't already). Break up in person, not on the telephone. If she is coming home for the holidays, wait until after Christmas to do this...unless you absolutely MUST do it before. Then be very nice about it. Let her know you feel both of you should be free to see others because of the geographical separation, etc. I don't think you need to mention this other girl to her unless she really presses you for other reasons for the break up. Just be very nice and delicate in doing this. Break ups are never pleasant but most all of us have to go through them at some point in time. Link to post Share on other sites
Natasha Posted December 2, 2000 Share Posted December 2, 2000 You would be much better off doing this now. It will only be much worse for her if a year down the track, when her feelings for you are stronger than they are now, you still decide you'd like to see other people. you probably will feel this a year down the track, because you are feeling it now. of course this will hurt her, but this would be the fairest thing to do, because it will only hurt her more the longer you leave it. and you don't want to do that to her. and who knows, you may find someone else who you feel is the one, or dating other people may make you realise that she is the one. you will know what you want in time. Girls don't give guys leaves of absense to see other people. If you break up with her, it will be a permanent thing unless the two of you get back together at some future time. Since she is your first girlfriend and you now have wandering eyes, it is probably best to free up your current girlfriend to see other people as well. If you thought she was the ONE for you, you would not feel a need to see other people. Also, her being away at college is very difficult for both of you and she may even appreciate the opportunity of being able to date guys at her college (if she hasn't already). Break up in person, not on the telephone. If she is coming home for the holidays, wait until after Christmas to do this...unless you absolutely MUST do it before. Then be very nice about it. Let her know you feel both of you should be free to see others because of the geographical separation, etc. I don't think you need to mention this other girl to her unless she really presses you for other reasons for the break up. Just be very nice and delicate in doing this. Break ups are never pleasant but most all of us have to go through them at some point in time. Link to post Share on other sites
Nic Posted December 2, 2000 Share Posted December 2, 2000 I agree with Tony and Natasha. go with these feelings you have while you are young and you will know in the future when you have found 'the one', because you won't be having feelings like this. yes, this will hurt her, but it's going to the best thing for her in the long run, instead of springing it on her in the future when her feelings for you are a lot deeper. as tony said, just be very gentle, work out what you want to say, and only tell her about your need to see other people if she pushes the issue. i posted this message before but this is a revised version. So i have been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years. She is at colleg i am at home. There is this girl that i think is pretty but i have never talked to before but she always catches my eye when i see her. Well the girlfriend that i am with is the only girl i have ever dated. I think i might want to tell her that i want to see other people for a time and see if i like or wan to go out with anybody else. Is this a good idea? Also i think my girlfriend would be crushed if i told her this. So what do i do!! Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted December 4, 2000 Share Posted December 4, 2000 It's too bad it is the holiday season, because this is a more painful time to break up. But you are obviously interested in dating the other girl and you should go with your emotions. I agree with Tony and Natasha. go with these feelings you have while you are young and you will know in the future when you have found 'the one', because you won't be having feelings like this. yes, this will hurt her, but it's going to the best thing for her in the long run, instead of springing it on her in the future when her feelings for you are a lot deeper. as tony said, just be very gentle, work out what you want to say, and only tell her about your need to see other people if she pushes the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
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