Eric.Bravery Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 In the former years of being in a bad depression things around my place had gotten very bad as in repairs, upkeep, cleaning, paying rent and all that. A few times my landlords have knocked at the door and I had to jump around in fright, tripping on my self putting my shoes on to run out the back and make some excuse as to why I couldn't answer the front door. All in order to avoid letting them in and seeing what would most likely get me evicted and possibly cited. Luckily they have never been in there to see it, but it has been VERY close. I was planning to post some pictures of the conditions inside, but it is too embarrassing, even to show you all. If the pictures were seen you would see that ole E wa sin a bad place of mind. Well Just a few days ago I told myself that I am tired of worrying about them seeing it inside, never having my family over and living in those conditions. I worry so much about getting caught that I sometimes have a hard time sleeping thinking about it. I even dreamed once that I actually got caught. Anyone who steps inside would see that the occupant has had some serious issues. Just a few days ago I started peeling away the layers of depression, cleaning, bagging and getting rid of garbage.... I have floor rot where the water pipes cracked and never got repaired....I have to replace sections of flooring and take care of mold.... My toilet is cracked from freezing because I had no heat for years in there(just a Kerosun), The wallls are blackened due to the Kerosun... and that is just the start. The fridge hasn't worked for years as well as the main furnace. I mad progress yesterday cleaning up the mess.....took three car loads of trash and 34 dollars to take it to the dump....and I still have more to do. The oven hasn't been cleaned in years and I literally have it in pieces cleaning everything...it is also smelling nice inside now. I may post pics....perhaps not publicy....but it should show the bad place of mind I was in and now....I feel reallly good getting things back in order.... plus the worry of being found out will go away... It would be nice to just open the door when my family and landlords come down and just let them in without worry. I think in about two more weeks of cleaning and fixing....I'll have the place better than when I moved in. I can't wait. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I love how spring brings new energy and positivity! Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Good job tackling your cleaning and repair issues! I will say that I think it's shame you didn't take a "before" picture to show, but I hope you'll at least give us an "after" shot to look at! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eric.Bravery Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 Good job tackling your cleaning and repair issues! I will say that I think it's shame you didn't take a "before" picture to show, but I hope you'll at least give us an "after" shot to look at! I actually do have before pics....I'm still not sure I can put them up as in.... it's kinda hard to look at. It was so bad that mid clean-up I had to stop and go outside for awhile to get my act together again. I just can't believe I was "there" Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I actually do have before pics....I'm still not sure I can put them up as in.... it's kinda hard to look at. It was so bad that mid clean-up I had to stop and go outside for awhile to get my act together again. I just can't believe I was "there" i have a cell eric, that room got so bad i would trash it more, could never find anything, and my friends and family rallied .......i went to church and i came back and they had cleaned my ensuite and my room...dont know where the stuff went...dotn want to think abotu it really dont know how much got chucked dont want to know........i just know it gave me a new lease i was able to sort through what they put on my bed, got so tired doing that i fell asleep on the floor and didnt wake up until someone put a blanket under my head because i fell asleep with no blanket no pillow....just curled up on the floor and went to sleep....depression is tiring, draining and oh so confusing........that debilitating tiredness is what eventually makes me want to give up.......and i have nearly done exactly that..feel liek a clock thats been wound too tight and has to call it a day......i am so glad you made a difference to where you live i hope the depression fades off over time and that you have that renewed lease on life and living that you have now.....best wishes....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eric.Bravery Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 Maybe I should post the pics then people would know I had problems and not merely being an effing troll all these years. Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'm certainly curious! <chanting crowd> POST THE PICS! POST THE PICS! POST THE PICS! POST THE PICS! POST THE PICS! </chanting crowd> Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Dude they aren't pictures I am proud of.... If I posted them you'd know that something went terribly wrong in there. These aren't pictures of a cute puppy or something. I'm eager to see the progress you've made as a person. We're not all that different, you know. You don't have to be proud of the "before" pics, be proud of the difference between the "before" and the "after"! Link to post Share on other sites
camillalev Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Post the before pics when you're comfortable posting after pics as well. Are we talking Hoarders level of bad? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 But it is progress as a person. If that was not the case, you would not be doing this big clean up. Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Regardless of what prompted you to begin Eric, it's the first step on the path of progress. It will help with your frame of mind and mood. Good for you! When it's complete, you'll feel wonderful opening the door and walking into a clean, organized space that smells great whenever you go home. Good luck finishing up what you've started. You'll be really glad once you've completed the task. Not to mention you can have family, friends, and down the road maybe a girlfriend over. This is more than just avoiding the place being condemned if someone had seen it. Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 I agree with Cutie and Anne. You're doing well. Chin up, guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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