n1BB1t Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 To begin with I shall start sharing my story. He is a co worker who joined my company two years ago. And only about a year ago he tried to come near me and my girl friends to let us used to his existence. We feel nothing special as he was part of my project team and had to work closely. To fast forward the timeline, group lunch slowly becoming only left the both of us. Slowly from after work dinner to weekend shopping. I didn't think too much that time cause he was married and doesn't seem like aiming on me. Just then I hit my slump period having go handle past away of my granny and divorce of my parent. He was there all along for me to confide. Without knowing he was already slipping into my heart. He did mention to leave his married but I was naive that time know nothing about affair. He did struggle a few months but ended up decide to going bk because of the upcoming baby. I do respect his decision and we didn't have any conclusion of what to do until due of the baby where he had no more time of his own. He was kinda frank as he don't hate his wife and he feel oblige and committed to take care of her and baby and impossible for him to leave them (which he gave promise he would earlier on) As for now d day kicks in and I had to start healing and focus back on me and not continue to cling on him. First week I totally ignored him and no conversation and I join back my girls for lunch. It's super hard and I'm glad I have did it. We resume talking only for work, other than that like lunch I join the girls back which I usually have it with him. I'm absolutely feeling better now as in no more emotional roller coaster and pinning of hope. But recovery kicks in now like everyone I had to keep myself busy and not think of him. During work I actively remind myself he don't deserve my love and care. To be frank, I can't help thinking what is he doing or he might be enjoying his life at home. All these still comes in into my mind. I know it's still earlier to be completely to forget him but I just wondering am I on my way to heal or just avoidance without acceptance. These few days had no big and deep cry and one to two small cry to grief. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 It sounds like you are doing a good job managing your emotions and moving on. I'm trying to do the same...no small task. Stay busy, stay positive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author n1BB1t Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 Thanks for your reply. I was just wondering am I normal or not. I really think of him most of the time but my mind was debating inside all the disadvantage of continue to be with him. I feel like crying inside but mind was thinking no point of crying. Looking normal outside but battling inside. Just wanna know am I just managing well or still dwelling at him ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 How long was the affair? I still don't know what D-day is, didn't see it listed in the menu of abbreviations. It sounds like you ended things a week ago and have only had contact at work, around work related topics? Is there anyway you can avoid him altogether at work? You said you are feeling better. This is a really good sign. I think it is a process that takes time. Keep on doing what you are doing and try not to look back. I am in the very early phases of this myself and it isn't easy but I have to believe that it is better than being stuck in the cycle of a relationship that will never be actualized. Is he leaving you alone? You seem to be doing a good job. I'd say you are healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author n1BB1t Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 Sorry if my story was not clear enough cause trying not to flood everyone with the story. D day is kind of decision day where I decided not to continue to cling on him and give up hope to be with Him. Some sort of decision day. Have be with him for a year knew each other for two year. He's co worker therefore most of the time are together so this make one year looks pretty long to me. Hard to avoid him in work as we are working in the same team. But I tried hard to focus on my work though I must say its super hard. Our conversation mostly surround with work else little. As he is the person which I usually confide with so I always had to urge to share topic with him. But all these I tried not to after d day came in, not to involve him too much in my life. He still share his hobbies and feeling to me but I stand neutral though it shake me. We both talk and I know he want me to heal and move on and of course still be his friend. He wouldn't bother or pester me but he just knew he couldn't give what I want and he couldn't leave his baby girl and family due to responsibilities. I can't help showing concern to him when he tired of taking care baby, but I force mylf to stop it and not to say or do anything cause his wife would take care of him not me. All these battling inside make me crazy. I knew quit my job would make me feel better but my job pay well and I need to pay house loan and feed my mom. Thanks for talking with me goodbye Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts