Sensitivesoul Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I've been married to my h for just over a year in that time we've gone through a lot . Then I find out he has been ripping people off borrowing money from people he can't replace!! He's been unable to find full time work for the past year!! And the work he did do was supposed to cover the rent as I pay for all the other bills/utilities!! He stopped paying the rent for 2 months and I had no idea until I found out from someone else!! I'm emotionally and mentally tired I feel maybe my fault as I should've checked the rent was going out!! I have no desire for him I definitely don't love him the way I use to - but I still love him!! He finally got a full time job and had to move away for the last 2 months I've enjoyed being by myself ! I decided to quit my job and move to be with him to save our marriage! I'm not that excited to leave to be with him but feel its my only choice . Is this the right thing to do I need some advice! I'm too embarrassed to talk to my friends or family about this as I don't want to be judged by them. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 What he has done is basically called financial infidelity. Your choice weather or not you want to forgive him, but personally i consider it up there with normal infidelity ... trust has been broken and while you may forgive, you will never forget. And normally forgiving takes a looooong time. What has he been doing to win back your trust ? Link to post Share on other sites
TiredFamilyGuy Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 You guys aren't communicating well, both of you. You expected him to pay the rent while unemployed. He didn't own up that he couldn't and also borrowed money. You decided to quit your job - discuss that with him first , did you? I agree with you completely that it's about trust, but without really good communication there can be no common understanding to have trust within. I hope you work it out. As for the previous posters "Financial infidelity" - pshaw! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sensitivesoul Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 Problem is I have communicated he did have casual work enough for rent and travel to his job. I asked if everything was alright all the time but he denied everything and spoke to our landlords to make sure I didn't find out because he was scared I would leave him. And yes I did ask him if I should leave my job as we moved to a different country and his new job is 6 hours away! Link to post Share on other sites
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