Elly1215 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together a little over three years now. He has a child and we are talking about moving in together soon. It seems we have an ongoing issue of me feeling like I'm not what he wants sexually. His ex wife is Hispanic and he has a thing for Latina women. I am a blue eyed blonde and nowhere close to Hispanic. He watches chubby Latina porn (which is basically what his ex wife is) even though he has promised me he won't. I feel so insecure with him. I have no doubt that he loves me and thinks I'm a wonderful person, but I don't feel like I'm what he wants sexually. I'm very confident in myself around other people - I'm in good shape and feel very attractive. However, I can't seem to move past this issue with us. He says that he watches that porn for variety and it has nothing to do with me; that when he was married he watched blonde porn and that used to bother his ex wife because she wasn't blonde. Our sex life has also slowed down and we don't have sex as often as we used to, even though I would be happy having sex everyday. This is something that really bothers me, to the point I consider ending the relationship, but I'm not sure if I'm making this a bigger deal than it should be. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 It's not a minor thing, it's a big thing : 1 - he said he used to watch porno with his ex-wife, and it was with blue eyed blondes ... and it got her jealous; so he should be aware of what effect it would have on you, the experience is there 2 - porno is ok in my book [as a guy] but not when it affects the sex you get with your gf who is more than eager to get it on with you; he is in effect giving up what is real and in front of him for a fantasy ... if this happens [sex decreases while porn/masturbation increases] it means he has poor self-control ... not someone you may want to spend your life with 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 porn is killer to relationships,giving expectations of sex that is edited and white washed into perfection so totally unnatural acts and often impossible times and positions that are edited and cant actually last beyond a minute they loop it that includes the guys lasting capabilities they are often looped...I think porn is boring AND DESTRUCTIVE...the music is more fun, even then its snail trailish music..... put your foot down you dont like it, let your guy know you dont like it.....either he shapes up or ships out.....let him know if it is an addiction you will be there to support him if he gets help but you cant sit by and feel like utter crap for his addiction to ruin your love life or self esteem....good luck...best wishes....deb Link to post Share on other sites
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