Looks like its about time to tell the rest of my story (why women suck)

[Keenly]

Don't worry this should be plenty interesting / entertaining.

 

My ex and I were together for 2 years, and broke up at the end of October of 2012.

 

 

We were having some major relationship problems at that time, her not being able to trust me, suspicious facebook messages (between her and some one from her past) Clingy/needyness, and my desire to just stay at home when I got off work all didn't help.

 

She became pregnant around september, and RIGHT AWAY started her trap process. MAde the decision to keep it without even looking my way to see what I thought. Okay, I said, its her choice, but then she started planning out the rest of my life FOR me, WITHOUT ASKING MY OPINION ON ANYTHING SHE WAS DECIDING. According to her, I was going to get a second job so she didn't have to work. According to her, we NEEDED to rent a house because "She wont raise a baby in an apartment" . All this manipulative bull****.

 

I couldn't take it, the 6 am fights, the fights coming home from work, the constant fights. I felt something was not right with this pregnancy. I left her and kicked her out of my place.

 

Here we are at the end of the fifth month, and I just found out this morning that Her little "I was raped in the summer of 2012" story (which by the way, MESSED me up emotionally inside, feeling that I as her boyfriend was unable to protect her) was all bullsh*T. She went out, got drunk, had sex with some dude, and continued to keep having sex with him until we broke up, and is now in a relationship with him. It doesn't make me sad that she cheated, im over that part. The lying, the attempted pregnancy trap! By the way the kid is his, according to her, and not mine.

 

 

 

This is why women can not be trusted. The 10% out there that pull crap like this ruin it for the rest of you ladies, because while I like to be a sarcastic assh*le on the internet, in real life I am a really sweet loving guy that likes to take care of my woman and appreciate her.

 

 

Now I'm left with a heart guarded by an impenetrable shield and I am worried no woman will be able to get through this armor I have set up for myself so that I am never treated like / used / trapped like this again.

 

 

Please learn from my story men. Do not let this happen to you.

[lissa90]

Wow. Someone sounds bitter.

 

Might as well make a vow of abstinence then.

 

You don't seem that mentally mature since you've tarred every woman with the same brush. How very angsty of you.

[Keenly]

Wow. Someone sounds bitter.

 

Might as well make a vow of abstinence then.

 

You don't seem that mentally mature since you've tarred every woman with the same brush. How very angsty of you.

 

 

Of course I'm bitter, a woman cheated on me, got knocked up, and tried to stick me with a kid that is not mine.

 

Why wouldn't I be ? I have every right to be pissed off right about now.

 

 

You didn't actually read my post its clear.

[thefooloftheyear]

Oh man. I feel for you...Thats about as ugly as it gets....

 

I can see why you are so angry/frustrated. I feel bad for the kid. Doesnt stand much of a chance.

 

At least be thankful that that kid isnt yours. Then you would REALLY be in a shytstorm...Try to look at it that way.

 

TFOY

[GorillaTheater]

You chose poorly, Keenly. And that's okay; we all do at some point, and all too often more than once.

 

What really counts is what you take away from the experience. You can use this as good information for future relationships as far as what to watch out for, what you're willing to put up with, and ways to improve yourself. Or you can use it to make an across-the-board condemnation of half the human race.

 

Which seems more constructive to you?

[Keenly]

You were in a toxic relationship for 2 years and you want to blame 90% of all females because you choose to do that?

 

No "healthy" guy would have tolerated your Ex and certainly wouldn't have dated her for 2 years. Therefore, you are just as much to blame for the "treatment" you allowed to happen.

 

Go look at your thread history... You rebounded to OLD, seeing a therapist, still dealing with your ex, saying you have low self-esteem and saying you want a relationship "way too bad" (desperate, needy, etc.), etc.

 

Dude, take a timeout from dating, relationships and women and get your self-worth and self-esteem in the right place. When you do that, you will be able to relax, have fun and just let it happen normally and naturally. Otherwise, all you are going to do is find yourself attracting, dating and having dysfunctional relationships with trainwrecks.

 

Lets be hyperbolic shall we?

 

1.5 years of the relationship were actually pretty good. A toxic relationship is not toxic for its entire length, it starts some where after the honeymoon phase.

 

Your looking at posts from before I got over her emotionally, and my attitude towards everything is a little different now. Now it's "women cause problems, so I'll be single for a few years"

 

 

You would have now way of knowing that, reading my post history from a week after my breakup obviously is going to be a different mindset than now.

[Keenly]

You chose poorly, Keenly. And that's okay; we all do at some point, and all too often more than once.

 

What really counts is what you take away from the experience. You can use this as good information for future relationships as far as what to watch out for, what you're willing to put up with, and ways to improve yourself. Or you can use it to make an across-the-board condemnation of half the human race.

 

Which seems more constructive to you?

 

 

Ill take being guarded and just assuming in the back of my mind that even though a woman can be really nice and sweet, deep down she is CAPABLE (capable, even though she may or may not actually DO these things, she IS capable of them) of some seriously Serpent and succubus like behavior.

 

Never did I say all women were like this, in fact I intentionally avoided saying that. What I did say was the truth. 10% ruin men for the other 90% of the good women. The evil 10% hide themselves among you and destroy men for their own personal pleasure / gain , so when a good woman comes along and finds a good guy, he is reluctant to get close, for fear of anything ever happening like that again

 

 

I like how we are attacking me like I was the one who did this to myself. Some people are just really good liars. This forum is full of their victims. But you people would rather come bash on me than offer words of support? Fantastic.

Edited April 1, 2013 by Keenly

[Cutiepie1976]

Make better choices! Rather than blame the world and a whole gender for a bad experience, learn from YOUR mistakes. Otherwise, you will be doomed to repeat history despite your high walls. ...Or are you now committed to become a celibate monk? The only person you hurt with your bitterness and baggage is you. Seriously Keenly, I expected you to be more thoughtful. I don't know you personally, but given your posts, many quite insightful, and posting style, I always respected what you had to say.

 

Sure you're hurt. That's to be expected. But being bitter is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die as a result. No doubt your conniving ex will really suffer because of this attitude. Come on now! You can do better than this. FFS, you're a smart guy. Act like one. Start by learning to walk way when there are flapping red flags. Your choice to have stuck around until the bitter end and now feel completely screwed by the way she manipulated you. For your own emotional health and well-being, learn to walk away from a fiasco sooner.

 

Wishing you well in your recovery...

[Seachelle1]

And yet in parentheses for your title (why women suck).

[OwlSoul]

To be honest, when I read your post I thought 'Bitch more plz'.

 

Touching the even '10% of all the females' topic was a bad idea Also, taking the dumper as a monster and enemy is the same as calling 70% of the Earth dating population liars and bastardos.

 

 

her not being able to trust me, suspicious facebook messages. Clingy/needyness, and my desire to just stay at home when I got off work all didn't help

So, was it her being clingy, or you? What do you mean by clingy? Would she be saying 'Why can't you be this and this' rather than saying 'You stopped showing affection?'.

 

If the first one is true, then she probably started losing the interest in you. And have hoped to find someone else who'd satisfy her emtions.

 

If the second one is true (I feel like it is D:), then it is most likely you becoming distant and her feeling more and more pain. As a result she'd be searching for someone else apart from the relationship in order to revenge and boost self-esteem.

 

In this case you're the one to be considered as the dumper, since you were less interested in the relationship. And felt yourself like in the trap, which is natural, when your partner starts all sudden planning you life for you and etc. Dumpees (more interested ones) usually get pregnant or pretend to be when they feel their former partner is drifting away, so they want to have some kind of control.

[GorillaTheater]

Ill take being guarded and just assuming in the back of my mind that even though a woman can be really nice and sweet, deep down she is CAPABLE (capable, even though she may or may not actually DO these things, she IS capable of them) of some seriously Serpent and succubus like behavior.

 

Never did I say all women were like this, in fact I intentionally avoided saying that. What I did say was the truth. 10% ruin men for the other 90% of the good women. The evil 10% hide themselves among you and destroy men for their own personal pleasure / gain , so when a good woman comes along and finds a good guy, he is reluctant to get close, for fear of anything ever happening like that again

 

 

I like how we are attacking me like I was the one who did this to myself. Some people are just really good liars. This forum is full of their victims. But you people would rather come bash on me than offer words of support? Fantastic.

 

I'm not bashing you. I agree with the other posters who've said that it's a truly awful story.

 

As a man who's been screwed over in love, I understand the temptation to hate on all women for what one has done to me. It's almost some kind of tribal instinct.

 

But what I'm telling you is for your own good and happiness. Do you want to eventually have a good, healthy relationship with a woman, or do you want even more wreckage in your life? It's up to you man, your choices are extremely unlikely to impact my life.

[NoLeafClover]

I couldn't help but notice...some guy says screw women and **** hits the fan pointing fingers back.

 

I have seen and heard so many women say MEN are @$$-holes and other negative things about men in general, that it has become a daily norm not to hear such comments.

 

Truth is, if you're going to come back with "It's your fault for finding her or staying with her" might as well not say anything at all.

Because that statement speaks for anyone on here- feminist or not.

 

Nothing to take personally here. Guy is having a moment and rightfully let him have it.

Some of us here have been a shoulder to cry on when our lads were calling all MEN kind names and didn't take anything personally.

[iouaname]

There are women on this site who have had their hearts broken by men. There are men on this site who have had their hearts broken by women. What your ex did to you is awful, but that doesn't mean that all women behave like that. I know this for a fact. It's natural to be angry, but if you maintain that all women are scum (just like if a woman maintains that all men are scum), then you'll never find anyone to be happy with.

[Els]

The appropriate title is that the woman YOU were with sucked. Sorry to hear that, though.

[siankat]

@Keenly

 

U have every right to be angry, bitter, mistrustful......at THIS woman, and this woman alone. Like Lisa said if that is your attitude take a vow of abstinence cos if you think u can never give love, trust and respect to another woman again, any relationship u do venture into will not be a good one.

[ThatJustHappened]

Your ex sucks. You dodged a bullet. Consider yourself lucky Keenly. I don't blame you for wanting to be out of the dating world for a while, but I hope you don't let the bitterness overcome you and ruin you for other women.

[Mack05]

I have had my heart broken in the past but I still love women. I could go into many reasons why I love women.

 

OP I use this quote a lot of this site. "Harbouring resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die". If you want to help yourself in future then work towards forgiving her. By forgiving her, you are releasing the grip that she currently has over you.

 

Once forgiveness takes place, then work on your issues. Emotionally healthy people don't dance with emotionally unhealthy people. This is a fact, which means you have issues of your own that you need to address.

 

If you go down your current path you will just keep attracting the wrong girls, while getting more and more bitter along the way. There is a wiser path to take..

Edited April 1, 2013 by Mack05

[candie13]

I am not here to judge you, and I am sure your ex was a terrible person... but did u throw her out when she was pregnant with supposedly your child? I am sure all hell must have broken loose, but who on Earth does this?

 

Keenly, you were very considerate and thoughtful, sensitive and honest, when it came to giving advice but that... that thing above... I am sorry, I cannot imagine a situation where what you did was excusable.

 

While we are always shocked to discover the true face of our partner, each and one of us have our guesses, hints as to the true nature of their personality. One cannot be all lovey dovey for over 1y and 6months and then suddenly turn 180 degrees around. What happened after one and a half years? The sex haze / or love period lasts for 6, maybe 9 months top. You get to know the other person after one year... just sayin' that you chose to overlook the signs. A relationship is made of two people, Keenly, it can't be all her fault.

 

You know what bugs me the most? That your story most likely terrifies the hell out of all of your remaining single friends and scar them for life.

 

The last guy I was out with was positively terrified, as around 4 of his friends had your sort of "accidents" (amongst which his best friend). So he was convinced that, if given a chance, women will try to get themselves pregnant by him. Needless to say, that was and is a huge turn off for me, because I do want a family and I do want children but never in a million years will I try to keep a man by my side, under false pretenses. I had to throw him out of my house and break up with him a couple of times for him to understand I wanted nothing, absolutely nothing from him (not that I consider my behavior normal or excusable).

 

What I am trying to say, is that because you are being dishonest with yourself, you are being dishonest with the others too and you are hurting them and adding unnecessarily more phobias to their very very long list of unreasonable fears, when it comes to relationships and commitment.

 

I've never slept around when in a relationship, never dated a guy who was in a relationship, or married - not even divorced, had clean break ups and generally have a very clean conscience, when it comes to my past. Why would all women on the surface of the Earth resemble to your ex and not to me?

[candie13]

P.S. yeah, most women suck... and if you're lucky enough, you'll find one that sucks real good and stop complaining !

Edited April 1, 2013 by candie13

[Seachelle1]

candie,

 

YES. Exactly. I would never ever ever use the pregnancy card to make someone stay with me.

 

Indeed, when my ex and I first got together, I spent my food money one week taking the Plan B to make sure and got horribly sick from the hormones in my body. And then lived on lentils and carrots to try and make it all work with the money because he didn't have money to chip in and it was my body, my choice.

 

Hurting kids is the ultimate bad. Manipulating men with pregnancy is bad, bad, bad.

 

When we broke up I watched very carefully because I thought I might be pregnant. I didn't say "maybe" to him and it thankfully turned out I wasn't. He still doesn't know. That was a fear I carried around and it largely happened because he wanted to have unprotected sex because it felt better. I wanted to give him what he wanted and I didn't respect my body and boundaries.

 

I was petrified. I didn't share that fear because it would change everything and I couldn't change everything on a maybe. I dealt with that fear all alone.

 

And I'm still evil for having breasts and a vagina? She was a b****, not me. I went above and beyond to make sure it wasn't something he felt manipulated by.

 

You're being incredibly unfair, Keenly.

[RiceaRoni]

Don't worry this should be plenty interesting / entertaining.

 

My ex and I were together for 2 years, and broke up at the end of October of 2012.

 

 

We were having some major relationship problems at that time, her not being able to trust me, suspicious facebook messages (between her and some one from her past) Clingy/needyness, and my desire to just stay at home when I got off work all didn't help.

 

She became pregnant around september, and RIGHT AWAY started her trap process. MAde the decision to keep it without even looking my way to see what I thought. Okay, I said, its her choice, but then she started planning out the rest of my life FOR me, WITHOUT ASKING MY OPINION ON ANYTHING SHE WAS DECIDING. According to her, I was going to get a second job so she didn't have to work. According to her, we NEEDED to rent a house because "She wont raise a baby in an apartment" . All this manipulative bull****.

 

I couldn't take it, the 6 am fights, the fights coming home from work, the constant fights. I felt something was not right with this pregnancy. I left her and kicked her out of my place.

 

Here we are at the end of the fifth month, and I just found out this morning that Her little "I was raped in the summer of 2012" story (which by the way, MESSED me up emotionally inside, feeling that I as her boyfriend was unable to protect her) was all bullsh*T. She went out, got drunk, had sex with some dude, and continued to keep having sex with him until we broke up, and is now in a relationship with him. It doesn't make me sad that she cheated, im over that part. The lying, the attempted pregnancy trap! By the way the kid is his, according to her, and not mine.

H

 

 

This is why women can not be trusted. The 10% out there that pull crap like this ruin it for the rest of you ladies, because while I like to be a sarcastic assh*le on the internet, in real life I am a really sweet loving guy that likes to take care of my woman and appreciate her.

 

 

Now I'm left with a heart guarded by an impenetrable shield and I am worried no woman will be able to get through this armor I have set up for myself so that I am never treated like / used / trapped like this again.

 

 

Please learn from my story men. Do not let this happen to you.

 

 

What caught my attention to this thread was the fact that you stated (why women suck)..I wanted to see what you had to say and I saw your situation..

 

Listen I'm very sorry what you've just gone through..although I'm young I do know what betrayal is and how terrible it feels. Now regarding your situation

The best thing to do is forget about her. She messed up and took the love you had for her and threw it to the side by doing this, the best thing you can do is to try to continue on in life- take a break from women to learn more about yourself and how you can grow from this.

 

Bitterness is okay to feel too, just don't let it fester otherwise it'll prevent you from getting close to people and meeting a woman who WON'T do this to you.

 

Let out all your anger,bitterness,sadness on something productive and make sure not to show your ex how angry and hurt you are...it'll boost her ego and it won't make you look strong.

 

See friends, if you need to vent to them as well, keep venting on here too. There's great advice all around here and people who are willing to help you

 

It's also okay to guard your heart. It'll help you determine what women are true and what women are playing you.

 

Don't guard it too much. Just take mental notes of clues and take caution.

 

You are strong I hope I helped somewhat.

 

And p.s. not all women will do or have done what your ex did. Never in my life could I see myself doing this to someone. I am loyal and truthful. You will meet the right one someday. Just don't keep this mindset that many women are like this. It will also prevent you from meeting the right one and it'll just add on to your bitterness.

 

Stay well

[Njeanne]

*sigh* some people really are born with a hole in their brains, aren't there anymore normals people on this planet? I told my parents this other day, someone who can do this really should be put in a mental hospital and prevented from birthing to avoid more such people.

 

I'm not calling myself normal, but I would never even cross my mind on doing something like that, I'm too honest and nice for that.

 

I'm sorry you went through this sweetie, just think about future where you'll find a nice girl that will show you want true love is.

[dreamingoftigers]

The wall may (understandably) be up for now.

 

But if you let one stupid, selfish bitch ruin every potential relationship you have, you have given her too much power over you and your life despite her exiting it.

 

Get some help for the trauma. It surely must be traumatic.

 

Mentally NEXT her in every sense of the word and rigorously find an honest, deserving partner.

 

There is an advantage here. You are young and have already gotten the screwing over that a lot of people don't get until their 30s-40s when their dipsh*t spouse screws them over if they are so unlucky as to have one. You already have experienced the damage first-hand and need not walk around with blinders on for the next 20 or so years.

 

You get it, some people suck.

 

I can strongly assure you that it isn't a gender thing. But I doubt you date many men.

 

Don't worry this should be plenty interesting / entertaining.

 

My ex and I were together for 2 years, and broke up at the end of October of 2012.

 

 

We were having some major relationship problems at that time, her not being able to trust me, suspicious facebook messages (between her and some one from her past) Clingy/needyness, and my desire to just stay at home when I got off work all didn't help.

 

She became pregnant around september, and RIGHT AWAY started her trap process. MAde the decision to keep it without even looking my way to see what I thought. Okay, I said, its her choice, but then she started planning out the rest of my life FOR me, WITHOUT ASKING MY OPINION ON ANYTHING SHE WAS DECIDING. According to her, I was going to get a second job so she didn't have to work. According to her, we NEEDED to rent a house because "She wont raise a baby in an apartment" . All this manipulative bull****.

 

I couldn't take it, the 6 am fights, the fights coming home from work, the constant fights. I felt something was not right with this pregnancy. I left her and kicked her out of my place.

 

Here we are at the end of the fifth month, and I just found out this morning that Her little "I was raped in the summer of 2012" story (which by the way, MESSED me up emotionally inside, feeling that I as her boyfriend was unable to protect her) was all bullsh*T. She went out, got drunk, had sex with some dude, and continued to keep having sex with him until we broke up, and is now in a relationship with him. It doesn't make me sad that she cheated, im over that part. The lying, the attempted pregnancy trap! By the way the kid is his, according to her, and not mine.

 

 

 

This is why women can not be trusted. The 10% out there that pull crap like this ruin it for the rest of you ladies, because while I like to be a sarcastic assh*le on the internet, in real life I am a really sweet loving guy that likes to take care of my woman and appreciate her.

 

 

Now I'm left with a heart guarded by an impenetrable shield and I am worried no woman will be able to get through this armor I have set up for myself so that I am never treated like / used / trapped like this again.

 

 

Please learn from my story men. Do not let this happen to you.

[ThatJustHappened]

P.S. yeah, most women suck... and if you're lucky enough, you'll find one that sucks real good and stop complaining !

 

To be fair, most men suck too.

[Mack05]

To be fair, most men suck too.

 

Not in the way Candie is suggesting we don't!