Author RiceaRoni Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 And in any case where I do feel sad...I will come and look at this list and remember the reasons as to why I need to find a man and not a boy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Rice, I think that all shows how much after the initial break up you’re in the denial phase. I think most people focus on what they lost, reminiscent on the good only. It takes some time to realize all the bad that came out of how they acted during the relationship and after. So realize that you are making a big step in moving on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 I will also always remember how he got with some new girl who cheated on her ex to be with him...3 weeks after he dumped me..then proceeded to shove her in my face, saying how lucky he was to have her..singing her the same songs he sang to me, telling her the same things, etc.. I have not gone through all this 5/6 months worth of pain for nothing.. I know I will find someone better..someone who will treat me with much more respect and dignity.. He deserves no attention from me, and everytime I encounter with him I will continue what I have been doing and pretend he doesnt exist.. I guess I forgive him now, but I will never forget... I will stay ignoring him unless he pulls in his big boy pants and is brave enough to face me and apologize or begins to treat me with respect. Until then I continue forward Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Im gald you are able to put together the things he did wrong. Its a great way to take the person off the pedastool. For me, Its hard to put together the things my ex did wrong during the RS, because there wasnt really anything that ever went wrong. Some hiccups here adn there, but thats it. I think thats what is what has made it hard for me to get over her. And I keep seeing her everywehre... its been 3 days in a row in which I saw her and when I see her now I get the feeling I used to get early on in the BU. I feel like i went backwards a bit since her message to me saying "I hope your doing well". we just keep going forward RR, thats all we can do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SendHope Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Breaking up by text is so cowardly. My ex did the same. She texted wanting a temporary break (let's hit "pause") then later texted me in a video game chat thingy that she wanted it over. Tears were flowing mid game for me. I will never forget that. She was either too much of a coward and/or didn't respect me enough to do it in person. I have no respect for her at all. It's like you said RR, these people aren't worth our time. And when they try to skitter back into our life, it's best that we remember how they ended it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Breaking up by text is so cowardly. My ex did the same. She texted wanting a temporary break (let's hit "pause") then later texted me in a video game chat thingy that she wanted it over. Tears were flowing mid game for me. I will never forget that. She was either too much of a coward and/or didn't respect me enough to do it in person. I have no respect for her at all. It's like you said RR, these people aren't worth our time. And when they try to skitter back into our life, it's best that we remember how they ended it. At least yours could tell you... my ex couldnt even admit taht she was breaking up with me....I had to ask ... over text Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 saying how lucky he was to have her..singing her the same songs he sang to me, telling her the same things, etc.. That's so pathetic. My ex uses the same little nicknames she called me all the time and refers to her new bf now. I'd find that creepy and weird in a new realtionship. She says the same things to him and iit's like she's almost trying to recreate our first years. They are both pathetic and trying to create something that isn't real . It's almost like they are trying to take what they loved about their ex's and force it onto their new signifigant others, and then taking out the what they didn't like. They will soon realize nothings perfect and every relationship takes some work. Sometimes people just aren't mature enough for a real relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 That's so pathetic. My ex uses the same little nicknames she called me all the time and refers to her new bf now. I'd find that creepy and weird in a new realtionship. She says the same things to him and iit's like she's almost trying to recreate our first years. They are both pathetic and trying to create something that isn't real . It's almost like they are trying to take what they loved about their ex's and force it onto their new signifigant others, and then taking out the what they didn't like. They will soon realize nothings perfect and every relationship takes some work. Sometimes people just aren't mature enough for a real relationship. I agree completely...trying to take what they loved about the ex and put it into the new relationship...it might also explain why his new gf is so creepily similar to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 On the way home from class today...I took a different route and passed his school....but teared up...no more going that route anymore I guess I'm just angry with him and disappointed... Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Yup, every little reminder is like yet another paper cut. I think it just takes time to build up enough "scare tissue" that we can't be cut anymore. But at least he's paying homage to you with the new girl, really is creepy how they try and recreate past moments. Well like they say once a cheat always a cheat. So she'll eventually cheat on him and he'll be the one kicked to the curb. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 Yup, every little reminder is like yet another paper cut. I think it just takes time to build up enough "scare tissue" that we can't be cut anymore. But at least he's paying homage to you with the new girl, really is creepy how they try and recreate past moments. Well like they say once a cheat always a cheat. So she'll eventually cheat on him and he'll be the one kicked to the curb. Yeah ive heard once a cheat always a cheat, but basing her from what ive seen and how her attitude is...shes also very codependant and has to be with someone..anyone.. She even claimed to love the feeling of being in love...so basically shes chasing a feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Sounds like my ex. Loves being in love. Although both to immature to realize it's not love they search for, but lust. What happens when the new phase of a relationship wears off..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Tonight ended great I went out to dinner with my spanish class and had a ton of good laughs and fun I think im doing much better... Im still uncomfortable in the thought of ever seeing him....and I dont ever want to see his new gf or both of them together...it would just infuriate me and push me back... Im glad I can stay single lol and work through the pain without having to get under someone.. Makes me feel strong haha x) Goodnight my fellow LS natives haha I wish the best for you in your healing Stay strong 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Well this morning turned out to be a little depressing.. Only now do I truly realize thay NC doesnt bring an ex back.. The ex has to come on their own will.. Theres really nothing a dumpee can do at all except move on lol especially if the ex is in a new RS. And if the ex wants you back they will make sure you know.. But im not waiting for mine....not anymore.. Im not ready to date either, but if a guy wants to go on a date ill take the offer instead of declining like I did in the beginning of the BU. I do like NC though it has helped me tons... If I didnt go NC id probably be in a far worse condition. Stick with NC...it isnt used for the ex to come back...its used for you to heal and look at the relationship and BU in a different perspective...to learn from it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 RR, Did something happen this morning? Or is this just a realization that has been building over time? M. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 RR, Did something happen this morning? Or is this just a realization that has been building over time? M. No nothing happened... It was just a realization over time I became sad when I realized, but in the end theres still nothing I can do...so NC is the only answer...and im glad ive stuck with it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Hang tough, chica! Sending good thoughts. M. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 A good way to look at your BU is realizing that he wasn't "the one". As stupid as he is for leaving you. No one is forced to be with anyone and it doesn't matter how much we want it to work. If they don't want it to work. It won't work. I think I'm pretty much telling you what you already know. Just trying to give some positive words. Keep doing what you're doing! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Sounds like a good mindset to have. Keep moving forward, and pushing through the setbacks! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Yesterday started out great and ended kinda badly.. And today I feel upset...I started thinking of him again, I honestly miss him... Im thinking about the future and how we'll most likely see each other a lot (we live in the same town and my sisyer goes to the same school) , but I feel like we'll never talk to each other again.. One being..I know he'll probably never apologize for what he did post BU, hes too set on his pride and ego to let it fall apart...and I think hes going to be with the girl he left me for, for a long long time... Yesterday I felt like I was indifferent, but today made me realize that I havent reached it yet and im still healing Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 I almost felt like crying today.... I dont understand why im still so upset. I havent seen him, I dont talk to him or go on any social networking sites.. I know what he did was terrible, Yet im still feeling sad... After this month it'll be 6 months... Im liking being single right now though... Im not as stressed out as I was in a relationship and ive been learning about my mistakes I made and making myself a better person... I admit it can get lonely at times, but I know I was happy before I met him and eventually I know I can be happy again. Link to post Share on other sites
SendHope Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 The outcome of being strangers again with someone you were in a relationship with is a tough pill to swallow. Especially for a first love. The feelings during the break up are so foreign. The fact that you're having days were you thought you felt indifference a few days ago is significant. I imagine those days will be more frequent and frequent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 The outcome of being strangers again with someone you were in a relationship with is a tough pill to swallow. Especially for a first love. The feelings during the break up are so foreign. The fact that you're having days were you thought you felt indifference a few days ago is significant. I imagine those days will be more frequent and frequent. It is a hard pill to sollow. I just feel very sad right now.. I dont know how ro bring myself up Link to post Share on other sites
denxnis Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 After this month it'll be 6 months... Happy 6 months-a-versary, I just hit 6 as well. If I remember right you are still young and not too hard on the eyes, chin up things can only get bitter kiddo. =) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 Happy 6 months-a-versary, I just hit 6 as well. If I remember right you are still young and not too hard on the eyes, chin up things can only get bitter kiddo. =) Lol happy 6 months-a-versary.. Yeah im young haha, and im trying. Today was just one of those days Link to post Share on other sites
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