Author RiceaRoni Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 Today went badly, but tonight went pretty okay I rented a couple of movies for my brother and I to watch..We're Halo fans so we watched a Halo movie that came out and the movie Lawless. It really took my mind off things... I feel better now that I wasn't so focused on my ex... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 Thanks again guys..this thread is more as a diary to me, and it's been helping me keep track of my emotional roller coaster that's been going on... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 Damn freeways, I feel your pain. I was driving home tonight and just got hit with a ton of bricks worth of sadness. After I've been doing so well too. But it just goes to show you everyone has those ups and downs. And a good day can turn around quickly, but also a bad one can too. It is really annoying though being emotionally connected to these people who treat us like dirt. So if you ever find a cure let me know. Hope there's more good days than bad in your near future! I will def let you know if I find a cure someday And I hope the same for you too BH 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 I just hate this thing like when we think we finally regained our life back and the sky is smiling for us and then poooooooof it's gone and the mood returns to be -Dead- I'm happy for you because you have a nice friend 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AKisBaked Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 Well I just came home from seeing one of my friends who lives in a different city... And man..it didnt really help like I thought..I mean I got to meet his roommates (one of them was very cute but he has a gf) and I got to catch up a bit with him.. On the way home though..I teared up while on the free way I swear i literally feel like im facing an internal battle..half of me wants to give him up and let someone better in, and half of me misses him and wish he would come back..it truly is painful and hard and confusing.. I know people are tired of my sadness, but im honestly really trying... Just keep doing what your doing everyday. Eventually one day the tide will turn and you won't feel this way. Be strong. Relationships is probably the most difficult challenge amongst an individual themselves when dealing with something like this. I can relate and im sure many others on this forum has experienced more and even worse experiences. But that's the way of life. We all experience up and downs and feel like just giving up on life, but NO you shouldn't. You will find happiness, it may not be right now or for a little while but you will find happiness. Don't give up RR =) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 I'm trying to not let today get me down.. I woke up at 4 this morning and I started crying again.. I don't know why I've been crying recently..I swore I was done with it, but I just felt really upset when I woke up.. I went back to sleep and when I woke up again I was okay.. Right now I've been playing Halo with my brother and just watching comedy stand up.. I'm okay so far. this video made me laugh..if anyone's looking for something to make them laugh, and if you like Dane Cook lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Glad to hear you turned your day around. When you need to cry and feel sad it's ok, let it out and then watch it pass. It comes with the territory of having a heart. Just think what it would say if you didn't care. But realize it is not forever, you'll come out of it and slowly it will disappear. Here's to better days! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 Today's been going alright. Im trying to stay busy and im feeling okay I woke up again at 4am upset.. And its been hard having to give up hope.. Because I want to believe he'll come back. Link to post Share on other sites
denxnis Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Because I want to believe he'll come back. Why would you want him to come back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 Why would you want him to come back? Because I know he and I could have worked through anything... I still love him..even tho im upset he lied to me after the BU and said hurtful things...I dont know if it was because he was upset himself or he really did mean those words towards me.. He told me he knew he messed up, but instead of coming back he got with the girl who cheated on her ex to be with him... He I guess gave me false hope as well...saying if its meant to be, it will be... Link to post Share on other sites
denxnis Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 If someone leaves you for another person they are not the right person for you, nor will they ever be. My parents worked far too hard to raise me and I've worked far too hard to get where I am today in-order to be treated like someone's hammy downs. my friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 My counselor thought it was ridiculous that I thought my ex (my first love) was actually the person that I was going to marry. She was happy that she won't be the last person I kiss because she told me "you need to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince(ss)". I think we're both living in the past and at some point that needs to stop. I hate the fact that I need to constantly snap myself out of it and remind myself it's over between us. I go on facebook and snoop around until I see signs that tell me she is out with her friends or is happier now than she was with me. It makes me feel miserable, but it's a lose lose. I feel miserable because I don't think it's over, or I feel miserable because it is over and has been over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 I feel terrible now... Maybe because I need to face reailty.. There are so many words I wanted to say to him, but I guess silence is best.. I dont understand why he'd rather be with a girl that cheated than be with someone who was as loyal as I was.. . Its painful...and Im crying now that I think about everything.. I just want this to be over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 Turns out my best guy friend who ive been going to the gym with has decided that he wants to go with my ex and his brother to the gym now... Not me anymore.. Im done. I dont get it. I try and try and in the end im still left alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 I feel like my whole world is crashing down and my ex is there laughing as he gets all my friends and as they take his side.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 Guess thats what happens when you have mutral friends Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 This whole process will be facing reality. Unfortunately it won't come in a moment. But take some pleasure in knowing that you are making progress. Whether your recognizing it or not yet. It's hard to have someone who is a huge part of your life just poof and gone. Especially when you had so much with them and saw so much future with them. It'll take time to unravel all that from your mind and restart in a better place. They're are better people out there than your ex, who treat will treat you better. And when your ready you'll find one of them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 It's a big world out there. So when something comes crashing down it only means it wasn't built with the best materials or the best way. You can and will eventually build it back up, with the friends that are there for you and more you meet along the way. You'll know more and be better for it because now you can see what it takes to build something that has the strength to last. And you can do it the right with with the right pieces. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AKisBaked Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 RR I think you really need a CLEAN break from all this, and what I mean is that even if it is not seeing your best guy friend because as you mentioned that you 2 have mutual friends and he is good buddies with your ex. With someone your close with that is also close to your ex, it may make the situation more difficult because you keep getting setback.. I wouldn't really say its your ex that is causing you to think these things and having your mind play mind games.. I would say its that your spending a bit too much time with your guy friend whom is bringing you places which so happen that your ex is also there..... Like either you tell your guy friend that he has to tell you if he's going to show up or going to places OR don't hang out with him that much if you know that he will bring your ex along and then you 2 bounce into each everytime.... I know this may not sound like much of a solution but from what you've been updating us and from a 3rd person point of view.. you have to stop letting yourself get into these situations... Sometimes from what I read is like you purposely hang out with your friend so you can "accidentally" bump into your ex. I'm not assuming you do so by any means but, you gotta stop doing this to yourself. Right now its your emotions speaking and not your brain... The more setbacks you do to yourself the harder it will be to climb out of that hole.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 RR I think you really need a CLEAN break from all this, and what I mean is that even if it is not seeing your best guy friend because as you mentioned that you 2 have mutual friends and he is good buddies with your ex. With someone your close with that is also close to your ex, it may make the situation more difficult because you keep getting setback.. I wouldn't really say its your ex that is causing you to think these things and having your mind play mind games.. I would say its that your spending a bit too much time with your guy friend whom is bringing you places which so happen that your ex is also there..... Like either you tell your guy friend that he has to tell you if he's going to show up or going to places OR don't hang out with him that much if you know that he will bring your ex along and then you 2 bounce into each everytime.... I know this may not sound like much of a solution but from what you've been updating us and from a 3rd person point of view.. you have to stop letting yourself get into these situations... Sometimes from what I read is like you purposely hang out with your friend so you can "accidentally" bump into your ex. I'm not assuming you do so by any means but, you gotta stop doing this to yourself. Right now its your emotions speaking and not your brain... The more setbacks you do to yourself the harder it will be to climb out of that hole.. Yeah...You and BH are right.. and no I honestly don't purposely hang out with him just to bump into my ex accidentally.. I was just trying to build up my friendships again with people I know.. I'm not hanging out with him again for sure... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 feeling pretty good today 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 Today went pretty well I actually feel a lot stronger and I hope I can keep this up. The only downside I guess that happened today was when I went to go get groceries for my parents and I saw my friend who works at the supermarket, and she asked how my bf and I were doing... I told her what had happened between us, and she just smiled and said that he just gave me the chance to find someone 10x better and that she and I should hang out sometime.. She recently went through a BU as well. Her ex of 3yrs left her for another girl.. She on the other hand met another guy who she says is better to her and now her ex tells her he misses her constantly.. She just laughed and smiled and said that in time I will be just fine.. It was kinda sad, but it gave me a boost too.. Link to post Share on other sites
AwptiK Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 You got this Rice 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 I thought about a lot of things last night..that opened my eyes.... I feel content but I also feel some sadness... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) I thought about the negative things that happened.. how I was broken up with by text because he told a friend of mine he didn't have the balls to tell me in person. How he insulted me on Twitter instead of in person. - calling me psycho, a mistake, a series of unfortunate events..when all I was doing was leaving him alone.. - said I was a waste of time and that he would never miss me..for me to get out of his life... - nit picked everything about me..how i dressed, acted with friends, etc. - when he said he wanted to talk in person at the 3 month NC mark, and it turned out when we met he changed his mind and said he had nothing to say to me and wanted to know everything I wanted to say..I just walked away and that was the last contact we had..he then later posted on twitter that it was a waste of his time and laughed.. - said that "he needed space" actually meant that he found a hoe that is much more interesting than me. This was all on Twitter ^^ The way I see him now is as a coward...he can't ever face me or bring himself to confess how he feels in front of me...it has to be either through friends or on a social networking site. I don't need someone afraid to talk to me..someone who spent so much time with you and your scared? I find it sad. Either that or it's pride and ego...which is big for him.. I will not expect anything more from him..not even an apology..because seeing how everything is..he'd be too scared or too prideful to do such thing.. And in the end I don't even want an apology from him..it'll be meaningless, unless he were trying to reconcile (which I highly doubt) Im losing hope, and I guess thats a good thing.. I need a guy who won't be too prideful or scared to speak to me or let out his true feelings. My ex had even posted a couple of months ago on his tumblr that he would never tell me how he truly felt...and he posted a picture of a sealed envelope that read "all the things I wish I could have told you"... I thought he was braver than that... No wonder we were such opposites. Edited April 9, 2013 by RiceaRoni Link to post Share on other sites
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