Difference between men's and women's attraction

[JuneJulySeptember]

OK. So I have this friend. Good looking guy in his 20s. Average height. I've known him for about a year. He's seeing this girl who is Latina. She's actually quite attractive, in a consensus sense.

 

Well, over the time I've known him, I've seen the girls he's pointed out to be hot and attractive. Like specifically. Women we both know, or kinda know. One is a little, short Asian woman who is pretty average, on the kinda cute side. Very conservative and demure personality. Another is a skinny Indian woman with a big nose and glasses who is also pretty average. But with both of them I could kinda see how someone could think they are hot. But not consensus hotties by any stretch.

 

But the point is that the guy thinks a WIDE range of women are HOT. And he's a good looking dude too. And it struck me that I know a lot of guys like this.

 

But the women I know. They all like the SAME dudes.

 

You never hear a woman call a tall, handsome white dude hot and then, turn around and call a little short Asian guy hot. And then a skinny Indian dude with glasses and a big nose hot. I mean, they MIGHT like Indian guys or black guys or whatever, but it'll be of the consensus hot guy variety.

 

Just an observation.

Edited April 2, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember

[iris219]

I disagree with your post so much I don't where to start.

 

I go to bars with a mixed gender group often. The men in the group always think the objectively hot girls are hot. ALWAYS. They all drool over the same 2 or 3 women in the place. Sometimes I point out women I think are cute to them and their all like "No, she's too __ (fill in the blank)." These guys aren't even attractive and they are super picky.

 

The women, on the other hand, while they seem to have a type, never find the same men attractive. We all have VERY different taste.

[todreaminblue]

there's more to hotness than just physicality, theres that spark i look for to determine a guys hotness factor.......if i see it i know it.....i can see an attractive man in all types of men......it isnt determined by a specific race or in how that man looks.....all women are different...in what they consider hot....mine goes on more than how tall they are what they look like or what race they are,I have dated inter racially......many times....all different guys....same spark....they all had passion for life.....and definitely love.....from all walks of life..........deb

[Mme. Chaucer]

I believe it has been discussed at length and generally agreed upon that men have a wider range of women they'd be happy to have sex with than women do. (in general)

 

So what.

 

It just takes mutual attraction between two people to get something going. TWO PEOPLE. The massive generalizations don't really pertain, unless you're looking for excuses.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I disagree with your post so much I don't where to start.

 

I go to bars with a mixed gender group often. The men in the group always think the objectively hot girls are hot. ALWAYS. They all drool over the same 2 or 3 women in the place. Sometimes I point out women I think are cute to them and their all like "No, she's too __ (fill in the blank)." These guys aren't even attractive and they are super picky.

 

The women, on the other hand, while they seem to have a type, never find the same men attractive. We all have VERY different taste.

 

I don't know about you, but I'm serious. It's my friend and I'm not exaggerating at all. It's a 100% true story. He really is a good looking dude too. And his girlfriend is what most guys would consider hot. So it's not like he is desperate. Not in the least.

 

I will give credence to the possibility that he does not represent the norm per se, but can you match that?

 

Do you have a white female friend who is dating a hot white hunk who thinks a little Asian guy, and a nerdy looking Indian dude are hot from your recollection? Answer honestly. Because that would be the equivalent.

 

(P.S. This has nothing to do with race. I'm just illustrating how men are in general more open minded.)

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm just illustrating how men are in general more open minded.)

 

Maybe men in general are just less selective. That's not the same as being open minded.

 

Maybe your friend thinks those girls are hot, but you won't find them marketed on the covers of girly magazines, "sugar baby" websites, etc. There's a pretty standard "type" that is actually considered "hot" by the general male population, and it does not include skinny girls with glasses and big noses. Unless they have giant boobs.

[ThaWholigan]

This again....

[Content]

I think women are attracted to way less men then vice versa at FIRST GLANCE once you open your mouth then you have a better chance.

[iris219]

 

Do you have a white female friend who is dating a hot white hunk who thinks a little Asian guy, and a nerdy looking Indian dude are hot from your recollection? Answer honestly. Because that would be the equivalent.

 

I don't have female friends who are dating "hunks," not even the beautiful ones. I have lots of female friends who are dating men I find very, very unattractive.

 

Women date down when it come to physical appearance. Do you REALLY see numerous attractive men with unattractive women? I seriously doubt it. Look around.

[somedude81]

Here's another way to look at it.

 

How many women that you consider unattractive, are currently in relationships or have dated in the past?

 

How many men that you consider unattractive, are currently in relationships or have dated in the past?

[ThaWholigan]

Here's another way to look at it.

 

How many women that you consider unattractive, are currently in relationships or have dated in the past?

 

How many men that you consider unattractive, are currently in relationships or have dated in the past?

 

I've seen a lot of both . The shortest guy I know just got married - one of the most objectively unattractive (IMO) dudes I know is also one of the biggest players.

 

To be honest, the unattractive girls struggle more - they do eventually get somewhere though.

[JuneJulySeptember]

This again....

 

It's true though. It happened today. My friend mentioned to me about the Indian girl that he found hot and it just stuck with me.

 

If he had a sister, and that Indian girl had a brother, there is absolutely no way whatsoever that his sister would find that Indian guy hot. Like off the bat lookswise hot.

 

And I know what you're going to say. Who cares, who cares. Yea, well you could say the same thing about any thread on this website. Just ranting.

 

I don't have female friends who are dating "hunks," not even the beautiful ones. I have lots of female friends who are dating men I find very, very unattractive.

 

Women date down when it come to physical appearance. Do you REALLY see numerous attractive men with unattractive women? I seriously doubt it. Look around.

 

You have threads and posts about men chasing you around and stuff, yet complain about men being shallow and only being into the same women.

 

So, what are you saying? You are one of those really hot women?

 

Actually, that's a common occurrence here.

[Weezy1973]

From what I've noticed, most women's attraction towards me encompasses a lot more than just looks. In fact, many women will have a "type" because of what they feel it indicates about the man's personality.

 

For example, one of my exes had no attraction towards Brad Pitt, but thought Edward Norton was really attractive.

 

On the other hand, most men feel attraction almost exclusively on the basis of looks. And an attractive woman is attractive no matter what "type" she is.

 

And what's also interesting is that women that do feel attraction similar to that of a man(i.e. primarily based on looks) seem to struggle the most when it comes to finding a quality relationship. It leaves them prone to being "played". Whereas men can still find good relationships even if their attraction is based mostly on looks because the majority of women are relationship oriented anyways.

 

I'm glad I'm a dude.

[Weezy1973]

From what I've noticed, most women's attraction towards me encompasses a lot more than just looks. In fact, many women will have a "type" because of what they feel it indicates about the man's personality.

 

For example, one of my exes had no attraction towards Brad Pitt, but thought Edward Norton was really attractive.

 

I mean men.

[somedude81]

I've seen a lot of both . The shortest guy I know just got married - one of the most objectively unattractive (IMO) dudes I know is also one of the biggest players.

 

To be honest, the unattractive girls struggle more - they do eventually get somewhere though.

That's interesting, I would never imagine an objectively unattractive guy to be a player. Does he blind the girls first?

 

As for what I've seen, I've never seen girls struggle with getting dates, no matter how they looked. One of the bigger girls I know keeps talking about her ex boyfriends and such. The bigger girl I "dated" a very long time ago also mentioned exes and she got with a guy immediately after our thing ended.

 

I've also had coworkers that most men would consider unattractive talking about their boyfriends and I've even seen some of the guys, and they were much better looking then the girls.

 

Of course, I've known of plenty of unattractive guys who do absolutely horrible with girls.

[iris219]

 

How many women that you consider unattractive, are currently in relationships or have dated in the past?

 

How many men that you consider unattractive, are currently in relationships or have dated in the past?

 

All of them.

 

You have threads and posts about men chasing you around and stuff, yet complain about men being shallow and only being into the same women.

 

So, what are you saying? You are one of those really hot women?

 

Actually, that's a common occurrence here.

 

You must have me confused with someone else. I create threads complaining about how I can't get a date even though I'm conventionally attractive. Also, I don't complain that men are shallow.

[Mme. Chaucer]

It's true though. It happened today. My friend mentioned to me about the Indian girl that he found hot and it just stuck with me.

 

 

So, what does it say about men in general that your buddy with the attractive Latina girlfriend is constantly talking to you about this Indian girl, the Asian girl, and lord knows who else he finds "hot"? Does this tell you that men are more "open minded" than women? As in, you'd prefer to be swingers rather than monogamous?

 

Since his behavior appears to represent some kind of litmus test for masculine characteristics.

[somedude81]

One thing that seems to be pretty much a given, is if a woman is halfway decent looking, meaning most guys think she's at least cute, she will have no trouble dating at all. (As long as there eligible men available.) A girl doesn't need to have game or a great personality as long as she looks good enough.

 

Halfway decent looking men have no such luck.

[iris219]

One thing that seems to be pretty much a given, is if a woman is halfway decent looking, meaning most guys think she's at least cute, she will have no trouble dating at all. (As long as there eligible men available.) A girl doesn't need to have game or a great personality as long as she looks good enough.

 

Halfway decent looking men have no such luck.

 

My unattractive male friends do just fine.

[somedude81]

All of them.

 

So you've never known an unattractive man or woman that has struggled with dating?

[Mme. Chaucer]

You must have me confused with someone else. I create threads complaining about how I can't get a date even though I'm conventionally attractive. Also, I don't complain that men are shallow.

 

Don't worry. It's a common phenomena amongst the population of moaners around here that they have no interest in what anyone actually says or experiences. They just want to skew every single thing to "prove" that there is nothing whatsoever that they can do to improve their status in life. It's usually women's fault.

 

Got that?

[ThaWholigan]

It's true though. It happened today. My friend mentioned to me about the Indian girl that he found hot and it just stuck with me.

 

If he had a sister, and that Indian girl had a brother, there is absolutely no way whatsoever that his sister would find that Indian guy hot. Like off the bat lookswise hot.

 

I wouldn't call that a given.

 

And I know what you're going to say. Who cares, who cares. Yea, well you could say the same thing about any thread on this website. Just ranting.

 

It's not about "who cares". It's about the constant fixation on looks - some of you guys on here probably fixate on it more than the people you think do the same. It's sad and ironic IMO.

[Mme. Chaucer]

How many men that you consider unattractive, are currently in relationships or have dated in the past?

 

As you know, I'm married. I hang around with many couples. I can honestly say that I can only think of ONE SINGLE EXAMPLE where the woman is not significantly more attractive than the man among the couples, at least in my opinion.

 

Yes, I'm old. I was also married when I was young, and the same thing applied.

[iris219]

So you've never known an unattractive man or woman that has struggled with dating?

 

No. Unattractive people happily pair up with other unattractive people.

 

I know one guy who struggles. He's quite attractive, but awkward and insists on dating the hottest women.

 

I know several women who have trouble finding dates. They aren't unattractive either.

[JuneJulySeptember]

All of them.

 

 

 

You must have me confused with someone else. I create threads complaining about how I can't get a date even though I'm conventionally attractive. Also, I don't complain that men are shallow.

 

No. It was you. Did some guy not chase you for a long time who you originally had no interest in? And he's now your boyfriend.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to start with anybody.

 

Just kind of confused why someone would complain about men being into the same 2 or 3 women when they do in fact get male attention. You're not the only one.