Difference between men's and women's attraction

[Badsingularity]

Seriously think about it just pure personality isn't going to make a woman like a guy anymore than a friend. She has to have some level of interest initially.

 

Now if a girl kind of likes the guy but isn't really sure, I can see how connectivity, personality, and charisma could really make a guy look alot better but if there is no physical attraction to begin with that personality isn't going to create any, it can only enhance what was already there.

 

 

When a guy is confident and sure of himself women can see it and feel it as soon as they look at him. This will often cause them to feel attracted to him. Add in a good personality and some charisma and he should have no problem with women.

 

After this looks are often just a plus or a minus.

[Noproblem]

Different taste and different opinions!

 

 

Just because he is handsome in your eyes, doesn't mean he is really handsome in my eyes!

Maybe you like him, so you see him "a good looking guy!"

 

But I think you don't consider people who are not from Caucasian origins deserve to be called hot or beautiful! That what I felt when I read your thread

[somedude81]

You give off that vibe right away that tells a woman: 1.) I'm not worth your time because I don't value myself.

 

I walk into a room and my shoulder are back, I'm standing up straight, I'm making eye contact, I walk with a purpose and I have the attitude of I'm going to f****** own this room and everyone in it. It's all about projection. If you project that you're the coolest Mofo in the room, people will pick up that vibe. If you project that you suck at life and aren't worthy of even a look of pity, they'll pick up on that too.

Why the fu*k is that vibe even needed?!

 

Truth of the matter is, if you are a normal looking dude, with a normal, non alpha male attitude, it will be hard to get noticed by women. God forbid you look a bit below average and have a quiet personality and maybe some insecurity in yourself, might as well cut your dick and balls off because you're not going to need them.

[somedude81]

Yes, a lot of complainer type men participate on this forum. THAT is what's going on.

 

I am so tired of this bs. The women you're always whining about who are in relationships? Are in relationships with MEN! MEN! MEN! Yes! For every hetero girl who's in a relationship, there is a MAN involved! Equal numbers of men and women in hetero relationships!

 

Can you get that?

Plenty of women complain on this forum too.

 

But what they complain about is very different from what the men do.

 

As for equal numbers, no. Many women complaining are in FWB's. Most likely the guy they are in a FWB with, is in the same thing with a couple other girls. Or the girl could be in an "exclusive" relationship with one guy and have no idea how many girls he's with at the same time. That's why the numbers don't add up. And of course don't forget the large number of women that are happy being single and have taken themselves out of the game.

Edited April 3, 2013 by somedude81

[Badsingularity]

Why the fu*k is that vibe even needed?!

 

Why wouldn't you want to have that kind of vibe?

 

It feels good to feel good about yourself. It makes you happy, relaxed, and fun. It's the vibe of a leader. Someone who is strong and not full of fear.

 

Women respond to that.

[somedude81]

Why wouldn't you want to have that kind of vibe?

 

It feels good to feel good about yourself. It makes you happy, relaxed, and fun. It's the vibe of a leader. Someone who is strong and not full of fear.

 

Women respond to that.

And where did you get the impression that I didn't want to give off that vibe?

 

Have you seen any of my posts?

 

What I'm saying is that it's bullsh*t that the vibe is basically required to get women if you're not very good looking.

 

If I had an alpha male attitude, I'd get women. If I was 6'0 tall and slightly better looking with no attitude change, I'd get women.

 

But no, I'm missing both and what I am now is the result.

 

All I can do is try to get something close to that attractive vibe, but that's hard as hell when I keep failing with women and just end up hating myself more and more.

"Then just don't care."

 

Uh huh, sure. Let me scoop out the part of my brain that controls emotions and concern for what other people think of me.

[mesmerized]

When a guy is confident and sure of himself women can see it and feel it as soon as they look at him. This will often cause them to feel attracted to him. Add in a good personality and some charisma and he should have no problem with women.

 

After this looks are often just a plus or a minus.

 

What do you mean here by "women"? All women? Majority of women? And what attraction are you talking about, sexual attraction?

 

I have to say that confidence for men is not like looks for women. 99 percent of men will happily have sex with a very hot woman but the same is not true for a very confident man. There is no doubt that confidence matters a lot, specially for men. But lets not advertise it as some magic thing that will solve all men's dating issues. It's necessary but not necessarily sufficient.

[Badsingularity]

What do you mean here by "women"? All women? Majority of women? And what attraction are you talking about, sexual attraction?

 

When I say women I mean the majority and yes I'm talking about sexual attraction.

 

I am trying to get these guys to realize that how women become attracted to men is not all about looks like they claim. There are more pieces to the puzzle.

 

Also. When a man is super confident and has a strong presence, the way it effects women on a subconcious level is almost like magic.

[Mme. Chaucer]

As for equal numbers, no. Many women complaining are in FWB's. Most likely the guy they are in a FWB with, is in the same thing with a couple other girls. Or the girl could be in an "exclusive" relationship with one guy and have no idea how many girls he's with at the same time

 

OMG. You are hopeless. Your fantasies about the many women in FWB's, and what the guys are "most likely" doing are … not worth talking about.

 

That's why the numbers don't add up.

 

Even if a subset of people are cheating or having multiple casual sex partners, that has ZERO to do with my point. Harems are not a significant aspect of western culture.

 

HETERO RELATIONSHIPS TAKE 2 PEOPLE: A MALE, AND A FEMALE

 

So, every couple includes a man. That means that just as many men as women are in relationships!

 

And of course don't forget the large number of women that are happy being single and have taken themselves out of the game.

 

Why? Single women have nothing to do with the fact that there are an equal number of men and women in relationships.

[Mme. Chaucer]

What I'm saying is that it's bullsh*t that the vibe is basically required to get women if you're not very good looking.

 

If I had an alpha male attitude, I'd get women. If I was 6'0 tall and slightly better looking with no attitude change, I'd get women.

 

But no, I'm missing both and what I am now is the result.

 

Keep this up, and for sure you'll never "get" women.

 

You know what? What you really need to "get" is a life. THAT is much more attractive to real live women than height or a handsome mug.

[SuperGeek]

Yup and don't forget all the sluts posting as well. You know the women that are sleeping with every man they can get attention from. There is nothing wrong with being a slut. Hell if I was a chick i'd be a slut too, why not?

 

And of course don't forget the large number of women that are happy being single and have taken themselves out of the game.

[SuperGeek]

FACT: Most women don't date men shorter then them. This is simply just biology and genetic programming. There have been countless peer reviewed studies proving this is true statistically with large numbers of observed women over and over again.

 

Keep this up, and for sure you'll never "get" women.

 

You know what? What you really need to "get" is a life. THAT is much more attractive to real live women than height or a handsome mug.

[Necris]

When a guy is confident and sure of himself women can see it and feel it as soon as they look at him. This will often cause them to feel attracted to him. Add in a good personality and some charisma and he should have no problem with women.

 

After this looks are often just a plus or a minus.

 

So are you telling me if you look like this

http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/90b/e76/c48/resized/fat-nerd-meme-generator-show-me-your-shertiffikates-77bf64.jpg

but you are the most overconfident cool acting guy in the room you'll beat someone looking like this?

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/membio/membio1202/membio120201047/12212428-view-of-a-very-fit-male-model-with-muscles-on-the-countryside.jpg

 

Not buying it man. Women like men are very physical as well. I see guys with terrible personalities get women with ease, why, they are physically attractive.

 

you got it the other way around women want guys who'll give them "good" children too. Think about it do you know any extremely good looking guys that struggle with women assuming they are trying, and yet for some reason they are always rejected all the time?

 

Looks get you into the door, the personality just helps keep you there.

 

If you aren't attractive to her but she still thinks you are a great guy she'll think of you as a friend. The confidence, great personality, connectivity help enhance what attraction she may already have with you, but if there's none to begin with its not going to create any.

 

Though I will have to say charisma (no its not the same thing as confidence), which is often described as an irresistible personal magnetism can be quite powerful so a physically unattractive man with a ton of charisma would probably be seen as attractive.

 

Girls are pretty similar to guys, so as a guy who would you rather be with and who would you rather keep as a friend in this scenario I'm about to present to you? Let's assume two women are equally attracted to you and want to be with you. First choice is a woman that is quite frankly physically unattractive (overweight, terrible face, whatever) yet at the same time she is very friendly has the personality that you are looking for in a woman, similar interests to you, and a fun person to be around. Second option is a woman who is just simply gorgeous everything just seems perfect physically though personality wise...meh.

 

Now here's where personality can win someone over. Along comes girl number 3 she's honestly not as good looking as girl number 2 but she is still attractive. Yet she also has a great personality as well, someone you can really connect with. So in the end she beats out girls 1 and 2 despite not being as attractive as 2.

Edited April 3, 2013 by Necris

[Badsingularity]

 

Girls are pretty similar to guys

 

No they are really not. When it comes to attraction there are some differences that mess up the scenario.

 

You need to understand that the way women's brains work and the way men's brains work when it comes to attraction are very different with a few similarities.

 

It took me YEARS of observing, talking to, interacting, and experimenting with different behaviors and mindsets with women to learn this.

[SuperGeek]

Please share what you discovered in your trials and tribulations with women. I would love to read your story.

 

No they are really not. When it comes to attraction there are some differences that mess up the scenario.

 

You need to understand that the way women's brains work and the way men's brains work when it comes to attraction are very different with a few similarities.

 

It took me YEARS of observing, talking to, interacting, and experimenting with different behaviors and mindsets with women to learn this.

[Badsingularity]

 

 

All I can do is try to get something close to that attractive vibe

 

 

At least you know what you need to do. It is hard, but it can be done.

[Badsingularity]

Please share what you discovered in your trials and tribulations with women. I would love to read your story.

 

Much of it can be found in my oldest posts here.

[Necris]

No they are really not. When it comes to attraction there are some differences that mess up the scenario.

 

You need to understand that the way women's brains work and the way men's brains work when it comes to attraction are very different with a few similarities.

 

It took me YEARS of observing, talking to, interacting, and experimenting with different behaviors and mindsets with women to learn this.

 

What age group are we talking about here? I'm mostly talking about young women in their twenties.

 

Girls in their twenties are pretty physical focused from what I can observe.

[man_in_the_box]

Yes, a lot of complainer type men participate on this forum. THAT is what's going on.

 

I am so tired of this bs. The women you're always whining about who are in relationships? Are in relationships with MEN! MEN! MEN! Yes! For every hetero girl who's in a relationship, there is a MAN involved! Equal numbers of men and women in hetero relationships!

 

Can you get that?

 

I don't get either - I've been casually inserting that into these kinds of threads every now and then. Sometimes they bite but it never comes across. There is always something "huge" going on society that I don't see but makes the numbers way off. I must be incredibly blind to not see it

[xxoo]

Women can find a slug monster hot if he is confident with an awesome personality.

 

Proof?

 

 

Me.

 

Not on topic.

 

I've done that too. I'm talking about pure looks.

 

That's the problem. You are talking about pure looks when women's attraction is based on SO much more. More meaning "in addition to pure looks". Of course pure looks can generate instant attraction in women--but it only explains a small part of the world of women's attraction.

 

Men who understand the world of women's attraction do just fine.

[Treasa]

OK. So I have this friend. Good looking guy in his 20s. Average height. I've known him for about a year. He's seeing this girl who is Latina. She's actually quite attractive, in a consensus sense.

 

Well, over the time I've known him, I've seen the girls he's pointed out to be hot and attractive. Like specifically. Women we both know, or kinda know. One is a little, short Asian woman who is pretty average, on the kinda cute side. Very conservative and demure personality. Another is a skinny Indian woman with a big nose and glasses who is also pretty average. But with both of them I could kinda see how someone could think they are hot. But not consensus hotties by any stretch.

 

But the point is that the guy thinks a WIDE range of women are HOT. And he's a good looking dude too. And it struck me that I know a lot of guys like this.

 

But the women I know. They all like the SAME dudes.

 

You never hear a woman call a tall, handsome white dude hot and then, turn around and call a little short Asian guy hot. And then a skinny Indian dude with glasses and a big nose hot. I mean, they MIGHT like Indian guys or black guys or whatever, but it'll be of the consensus hot guy variety.

 

Just an observation.

 

Your observation is flawed. The words, "You never hear" should be, "Words I never hear..." I've dated white guys, I've dated black guys. I dated a Taiwanese guy who was 5' even and he was SMOKING HOT. I've dated Indian guys. I've dated a guy who was deaf, one who had disabilities, etc. I thought ALL of them were hot.

 

As usual, though, you're going to nitpick what I said into nothing, even though I clearly just proved your argument invalid.

 

The only way you would surprise me would be to say, "Oh, I was mistaken then." But I have a feeling that won't happen.

[StanMusial]

I think people have skewed perceptions based on experiences with OLD or social media or cold approach/bar/club mentality. Let's face it, most guys are average/ugly and in raw numbers there are more women than men on the planet so at some point you have to realize your chances are not that bad.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Your observation is flawed. The words, "You never hear" should be, "Words I never hear..." I've dated white guys, I've dated black guys. I dated a Taiwanese guy who was 5' even and he was SMOKING HOT. I've dated Indian guys. I've dated a guy who was deaf, one who had disabilities, etc. I thought ALL of them were hot.

 

As usual, though, you're going to nitpick what I said into nothing, even though I clearly just proved your argument invalid.

 

The only way you would surprise me would be to say, "Oh, I was mistaken then." But I have a feeling that won't happen.

 

You're an exception to the rule.

 

I'd go as far as to say you are THE exception to the rule. The chances of that type of guy running across a woman like you might be the same as being hit in the head with a coconut by a monkey.

 

Of course, hundreds of female posters have read my OP by now, and any of a number could have shut me up by saying, "Oh. I think little average looking Asian guys and geeky skinny Indian dudes, or guys below 5'7" are smoking hot all the time."

 

But that hasn't happened. Instead what do you hear? A guy can make up for his lack of looks by _____, _____, etc, etc, etc.

 

I call it like I see it. I started this thread because of a real life occurrence. Not some fiction that I concocted in my own head.

Edited April 3, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember

[xxoo]

Of course, hundreds of female posters have read my OP by now, and any of a number could have shut me up by saying, "Oh. I think little average looking Asian guys and geeky skinny Indian dudes, or guys below 5'7" are smoking hot all the time."

 

I've been physically attracted to individuals in these groups. They became smoking hot based on ______, and ______, and _______.

 

Why do you discount the power of ______, and ______, and ________? For many women, those factors are just as (if not more) of a turn on than the physical.

[StanMusial]

I rate men 1-10 but its not looks. Its my douche-meter

 

Rating me on my looks like that gets you an automatic 2 extra points on my douche-meter.

 

He just went from a 5 to a 7.

 

That guy is a 10 easy