Difference between men's and women's attraction

[Mme. Chaucer]

One thing that seems to be pretty much a given, is if a woman is halfway decent looking, meaning most guys think she's at least cute, she will have no trouble dating at all. (As long as there eligible men available.) A girl doesn't need to have game or a great personality as long as she looks good enough.

 

Halfway decent looking men have no such luck.

 

But … what does the dating success or lack of it amongst the general female population have to do with YOU, the OP, and the other guys like you two around here?

 

Why do you constantly have to compare what goes on with you with what you think goes on with women? What does it have to do with you?

 

No matter how you look at it, all kinds of people date. Ugly, short, fat, whatever. Men AND women. Yes, it's easier for great looking people to date. Nevertheless, average and bad looking people date, marry, have kids, non-stop.

 

That's kind of off topic, though. The real point is, why does it matter to YOU so much what "women" do? You really need to focus on what YOU do.

[Content]

I do find it funny that men think men are the hotter ones in most couples and women think most women are hotter then their partner:laugh:

 

I honestly think most people are paired up pretty evenly,i rarely see a couple where there so mismatched that its a joke

[PJKino]

No. It was you. Did some guy not chase you for a long time who you originally had no interest in? And he's now your boyfriend.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to start with anybody.

 

Just kind of confused why someone would complain about men being into the same 2 or 3 women when they do in fact get male attention. You're not the only one.

 

My guess is shes bitter she cant get hot men..

 

She claims shes not complaining about women being more attractive then dudes therye with but always mentions it..

[iris219]

No. It was you. Did some guy not chase you for a long time who you originally had no interest in? And he's now your boyfriend.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to start with anybody.

 

Just kind of confused why someone would complain about men being into the same 2 or 3 women when they do in fact get male attention. You're not the only one.

 

I have a BF now after 5 years of being single with hardly any dates during that period.

 

I wasn't complaining about the fact that men like the same hot women; I was merely stating it.

[iris219]

My guess is shes bitter she cant get hot men..

 

She claims shes not complaining about women being more attractive then dudes therye with but always mentions it..

 

Um...I'm considered attractive. Men liking conventionally attractive women works for me.

[ali_g]

IMHO, for people who can get quite attractive people, other things start becoming more important. They already can get the looks, so they have to go past that.

 

For people who cannot score good looking people, that is their hidden dream... to finally be with a "socially" acceptable HOT person. sigh

[ThaWholigan]

I do find it funny that men think men are the hotter ones in most couples and women think most women are hotter then their partner:laugh:

 

I honestly think most people are paired up pretty evenly,i rarely see a couple where there so mismatched that its a joke

 

I actually have a few times, but it's never been common. It's usually a height difference where she's taller, or he's massive compared to her.

 

I don't really tend to pay too much attention to the disparation in looks of others - I acknowledge it, but not much.

[NeoGen85]

IMHO, for people who can get quite attractive people, other things start becoming more important. They already can get the looks, so they have to go past that.

 

For people who cannot score good looking people, that is their hidden dream... to finally be with a "socially" acceptable HOT person. sigh

 

::plays the world's smallest violin::

[Necris]

Problems with discussions like these is that our definitions of ugly and attractive vary person from person, though there are some near universally ugly and attractive individuals on the extreme ends of the scale, but we're generally not talking about them.

 

Anyway men are generally less selective than women so what your average guy may find attractive will vary alot more than your average woman it seems. Its just how it is. Take me for example I can walk into a random room and I'll likely find around 80% of the women attractive enough to want to date (then again that could be the desperation), I don't think I can say the same for most women.

 

Another factor not being discussed is how men and women interact with each other your average man is hardly ever going to be approached by a woman its just not something that normally happens. While the average woman will be approached by men, so in most cases women are the choosers so they can afford to be a little more picky. I've rarely seen men who are so attractive they do not need to approach women they let the women come to them and choose which one they think are best.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I wouldn't call that a given.

 

I would. My buddy kind of looks like that Pattinson dude from Twilight.

 

Can you see some gal who looks like Kristen Stewart drooling over some random, average, nerdy looking Indian guy?

 

I've never seen that in my life. The next time I see it, I'll STFU forever.

[ThaWholigan]

I would. My buddy kind of looks like that Pattinson dude from Twilight.

 

Can you see some gal who looks like Kristen Stewart drooling over some random, average, nerdy looking Indian guy?

 

I've never seen that in my life. The next time I see it, I'll STFU forever.

I hope you do!

[DannyMason]

I think women are attracted to way less men then vice versa at FIRST GLANCE once you open your mouth then you have a better chance.

Not necessarily true for all of us.

[somedude81]

But … what does the dating success or lack of it amongst the general female population have to do with YOU, the OP, and the other guys like you two around here?

 

Why do you constantly have to compare what goes on with you with what you think goes on with women? What does it have to do with you?

 

No matter how you look at it, all kinds of people date. Ugly, short, fat, whatever. Men AND women. Yes, it's easier for great looking people to date. Nevertheless, average and bad looking people date, marry, have kids, non-stop.

And yet I do not, and many men do not.

 

Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

 

This forum seems to have an equal number of male and female members, yet there are far more men complaining about a total lack of relationships.

 

Something is going on.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I think tons of different men are hot. I have the dates to prove it too.

 

 

 

 

If only I could show the line up of men I have dated, you would be shocked.

Obviously generalizations are dumb.

[Necris]

Not necessarily true for all of us.

 

I know that feel:(

 

Not being an ultra charismatic casanova myself my already low chances probably just drop lower when I talk to them.

 

Though at the very least I am capable of getting some friends, so I should be thankful for that.

[Phoe]

I find a very wide variety of men good looking.

 

There is nothing cookie cutter about who/what I find attractive.

[Content]

Yeah men have a wider range of women they find attractive. Men are wired to evaluate every womans sexual attractiveness and to spread their seed. They dont have to worry about bearing children and thus, arent as picky who they pick to sleep with.

 

Thats why men always look at hot women and focus on looks more and tend to be less satisfied with one sexual partner for a long period of time, However, the objectively hot ones in their league or above are usually the only ones worth committing to.

 

I find the hotter a woman is, the more likely a man is to value her and commit to her. As long as her personality isnt atrocious.

 

This is just not true most women i know are not super models yet are in great relationships. I see no correlation to better looking people being in better relationships i know people of all ranges of looks who are in great relationships and ones who are unlucky in love.

 

The bitter people here men and women need to stop generalzing a whole gender for their problems.I know dating can be frustrating but beleive me an entire gender is not the enemy and thinking that way will not help any of you.

 

Looking at your pic youre a beautiful girl who im sure has a lot to offer but you have to get rid of the bitterness and anger toward men were all not bad a lot of us are sweethearts:p just be open to meeting one and leave the past in the past.

Edited April 3, 2013 by Content

[mesmerized]

Its not bitterness. A man is much more likely to commit to a woman who is hotter. Theres actual research done on this you know. There also have been studies that have found the more successful marriages tend to be ones where the wife is hotter than the husband. Sorry biology does play a role in todays behavior though I wish it didnt

 

Quoted for truth. How can anyone deny that? Sure it's not true for every single man on the planet but it's true for the majority of them.

[Content]

Its not bitterness. A man is much more likely to commit to a woman who is hotter. Theres actual research done on this you know. There also have been studies that have found the more successful marriages tend to be ones where the wife is hotter than the husband. Sorry biology does play a role in todays behavior though I wish it didnt

 

I dont care about studies i see what i see and maybe its because i surround myself with good people but i see plenty of men and women in great relationships who arent gonna win any looks contests.

 

In fact the only person i know who got cheated on was my good looking guy friend who found his wife in bed with another dude and his wife is average looking so there is no rhyme or reason to any of this **** and who finds love its luck of the draw but i can assure you its not about looks with who is lucky and who isn't

[Weezy1973]

Its not bitterness. A man is much more likely to commit to a woman who is hotter. Theres actual research done on this you know. There also have been studies that have found the more successful marriages tend to be ones where the wife is hotter than the husband. Sorry biology does play a role in todays behavior though I wish it didnt

 

So if you're not superficial - just find a guy objectively less physically attractive than you that you like and he should be able commit. Problem solved. By your own theory, the only reason you're unsuccessful is because you only are attracted to guys that are physically good looking. No other explanation...

[kaylan]

OK. So I have this friend. Good looking guy in his 20s. Average height. I've known him for about a year. He's seeing this girl who is Latina. She's actually quite attractive, in a consensus sense.

 

Well, over the time I've known him, I've seen the girls he's pointed out to be hot and attractive. Like specifically. Women we both know, or kinda know. One is a little, short Asian woman who is pretty average, on the kinda cute side. Very conservative and demure personality. Another is a skinny Indian woman with a big nose and glasses who is also pretty average. But with both of them I could kinda see how someone could think they are hot. But not consensus hotties by any stretch.

 

But the point is that the guy thinks a WIDE range of women are HOT. And he's a good looking dude too. And it struck me that I know a lot of guys like this.

 

But the women I know. They all like the SAME dudes.

 

You never hear a woman call a tall, handsome white dude hot and then, turn around and call a little short Asian guy hot. And then a skinny Indian dude with glasses and a big nose hot. I mean, they MIGHT like Indian guys or black guys or whatever, but it'll be of the consensus hot guy variety.

 

Just an observation.

Meet more women.

 

Im generally baffled by who my chick friends find attractive. It smacks in the face of the general media consensus about what men and women find attractive.

 

These girls definitely like a variety of guys. Sure I have some friends who have a specific type, but I also have friends who like different kinds of guys.

 

One girl I know is very attracted to average sized asian men, but also likes tall white guys, but used to date a shorter middle eastern guy.

[carhill]

Take me for example I can walk into a random room and I'll likely find around 80% of the women attractive enough to want to date

 

Imagine being exactly the opposite of that and being a man. It's a miracle of God that I ever married.

[Necris]

Not a miracle. All these men complaining women dont find alot of men attractive dont get my sympathy. Why? Personality and other things that you can control can make up for looks in women....not for men.

 

NOPE.

 

If a woman doesn't find you attractive and you have an excellent personality you become friends. Its just how it is.

 

And for the most part you stay just friends. She may get tired of being with all the other guys and may try being with the unattractive guy who's been her friend but that's rare.

[carhill]

In my demographic, becoming attracted to a woman over time is like committing relationship suicide. So, hence, any man who is not immediately attracted to the majority of women he meets, with myself as one example, has an exceedingly difficult time dating, much less having LTR's or becoming married. There's just too many men chasing too few women. I don't blame the women at all. If every woman I met was coming on to me, and I met someone who seemed not 'all in' immediately, I'd view them with great skepticism. Fair enough.

[Badsingularity]

NOPE.

 

If a woman doesn't find you attractive and you have an excellent personality you become friends. Its just how it is.

 

And for the most part you stay just friends. She may get tired of being with all the other guys and may try being with the unattractive guy who's been her friend but that's rare.

 

 

The kind of guy you're talking about isn't showing his real personality.

He is showing a fake personality meant to try and make the woman happy.

 

Men with good personalities that are real and show who they really are can attract women.