Is the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater" really true? Share your stories!

[Toddbt12y1]

Most cheaters Ive know, female and male, cheated again if they werent teenagers or young adults when they did it. Meaning, all the cheaters who cheated as an adult (who were supposed to be developed), did it again. Some took longer to eventually cheat, others did it again pretty quickly.

 

The difference is, how long it took for trouble to come up in their next relationship and thus, how long it took for their impulsiveness and coping skills to emerge.

 

How somebody acts in times of trouble says alot about their character.

 

I knew several girls with bfs that were adults that cheated on a previous gf that said he was "an awesome boyfriend"...until things got rough.

 

 

Exactly my point! It is silly to assume that they will not revert back to cheating when things get rough.

[Charlie Harper]

Oral doesn't count.

 

According to Billy "Slick" Clinton?

 

I find it weird that lots of fellow LS comrades, paint situation with a huge brush, so If you know a cheater, is always a cheater no matter what, has the same weight as the guys who see a stunning woman and say "to think there must be a guy who is feed up with banging her and putting up with her S***"

 

If that is the case, what is the point of LS ? we have formulas and PRETEND TO KNOW EVERYTHING, so let make stickies for all these topics and stop posting because, once a cheater, always a cheater give me a break.

 

I used to date tons of married woman when I was single like 20 years ago, and some of them went back home, fixed their marriage and I have bumped with some and have found them happily married STILL. yeap a lot of them divorced and I was the Exit A, but I would never say for sure that people cannot find the right path in relationship.

 

my 2 cents.

[Woggle]

According to Billy "Slick" Clinton?

 

I find it weird that lots of fellow LS comrades, paint situation with a huge brush, so If you know a cheater, is always a cheater no matter what, has the same weight as the guys who see a stunning woman and say "to think there must be a guy who is feed up with banging her and putting up with her S***"

 

If that is the case, what is the point of LS ? we have formulas and PRETEND TO KNOW EVERYTHING, so let make stickies for all these topics and stop posting because, once a cheater, always a cheater give me a break.

 

I used to date tons of married woman when I was single like 20 years ago, and some of them went back home, fixed their marriage and I have bumped with some and have found them happily married STILL. yeap a lot of them divorced and I was the Exit A, but I would never say for sure that people cannot find the right path in relationship.

 

my 2 cents.

 

They are probably just cheating with other men.

[chucksagent]

I see both sides of "Cheaters are the devil" and "Whoa whoa whoa, I made a mistake."

 

HERE is my huge problem with the latter...

 

If everyone just "forgives" and "accepts" the "mistake" (I love when people call it a mistake...a mistake is when you don't know the answer to a math problem, or forget which road to take and you wind up late - not when you SELFISHLY make a CHOICE where you KNOW the outcome...that's just UPSET you got caught, let's be real) then WHERE is the deterrent NOT to do it????

 

Let's ALL be real...everyone ponders it...you see a SMOKING hot person and you LOVE your SO, you think, "Wow, I bet that would be awesome." But it ends there...so I have trouble FORGIVING people that allow stuff to spiral out of control.

 

It's these same hypocrits who are like "I had no choice." It's SOOOOOOO Easy not to cheat.

 

a) Don't put yourself in bad situations (Drinking with opposite sex alone)

b) Learn how to say no

c) Dont text or FB members of opposite sex

d) Learn and Practice self control

e) Get a hobby that ISN"T cruising FB looking for hot men/women

 

This isn't a DREAM...you don't just all of a sudden wake up and you're alone and drunk in a hotel room with some male/female slut. LOTS of decisions lead up to that. So it's SO hard having pity....yet I believe in forgiveness in other matters of life, so it is tough.

 

BUT I ASK YOU!!!!????

 

If we do NOT paint them with this horrible brush and say once a cheater always a cheater (which I believe IS true 85% of the time) WHY WOULD ANYONE not cheat???? What's the reward???? "being a good person" lol cmon. It's like criminals, there HAS to be some deterrent to keep the people on the fence from making bad/hurtful decisions....why do you think religion and laws were created???? lol keep the flock in line!

[nofool4u]

I feel no need to be tactful when the vast majority of men on this site write about using women like cattle

 

Sorry, a vast majority of men on this site are not saying that. There may be a couple of them, just as I can site a couple of skanks, but far from a vast majority. Not even close.

 

That is simply your opinion based on your attitude towards men in general.

[coltsfan1]

No it isn't true.

 

When I was younger, immature and allowed my self-worth to be determined by my sexual conquests I was a serial cheater. Now that I'm an actual man and not just a boy trying to imitate one I have no need to look outside my relationships for validation. The change didn't happen overnight but once it did it was permanent. I believe this happens to most people and it's a very small percentage who stay serial cheaters throughout their whole lives.

 

I couldn't agree more with this!!

[reaver]

Sorry, a vast majority of men on this site are not saying that. There may be a couple of them, just as I can site a couple of skanks, but far from a vast majority. Not even close.

 

That is simply your opinion based on your attitude towards men in general.

 

Go to the Dating forum nofool4u. That is where most of her posts are.

 

The men responding in this forum seem lovely. I notice you dont post in the Dating forum. Go read a bunch of threads there. There are plenty of "users" in that part.

 

You also seem to have a hatred of women based on alot of the things youve written. Pot calling the kettle black?

 

I dont condone hating any gender. Both have bad apples

[nofool4u]

Go to the Dating forum nofool4u. That is where most of her posts are.

 

The men responding in this forum seem lovely. I notice you dont post in the Dating forum. Go read a bunch of threads there. There are plenty of "users" in that part.

 

You also seem to have a hatred of women based on alot of the things youve written. Pot calling the kettle black?

 

I dont condone hating any gender. Both have bad apples

 

I'm sure there are. But a "vast majority"? I wouldn't venture to guess not.

 

And in any case its hard to take a comment like that seriously when 95% of one's posts are basically man hating.

 

We have our misandrists and misogynists on this board. But far from a "vast majority".

[reaver]

I'm sure there are. But a "vast majority"? I wouldn't venture to guess not.

 

And in any case its hard to take a comment like that seriously when 95% of one's posts are basically man hating.

 

We have our misandrists and misogynists on this board. But far from a "vast majority".

 

Hmmm...maybe so. Go look at the threads about getting sex early, and you might change your mind. The vast majority of men that respond have a "user" attitude based on that.

[sunbeach200]

Cliché statement. Just another label.

 

Nothing is black and white. People can change pending on their situations and the outcome of their situations. Also depends on the type of person who cheats.

 

I was a serial cheater twenty years ago as I liked the chase, the flirting, the validation.I did it cause I was bored too. To this day I have had many opportuniites to have sex with other men besides my partner but I know who I am and what I want. I know that happiness comes from within.

 

I know many who have cheated once and will never cheat again.

 

My best friend who has NEVER cheated in her life ( she is 47) is married for over 15 years now. She did something completely out of character and had a ONS two years ago. She hasn't told her husband because she knows he would leave her.

I know she has learnt her lesson on this one and I believe her when she says she will never do it again. She is riddled with self hatred. That's her punishment. She has zero respect for herself. She wont be cheating again

[animalover]

Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater... it is a flaw of character... But I do think people can change and I believe in self improvement stories.... I just think that the risk of cheating will always be latent in those who did it already... they know the rush and the kick of the affair ... a drug addict can improve himself but will always be in danger if you put him to exposure with drugs... the same thing happens with cheaters in my opinion.

[animalover]

Cliché statement. Just another label.

 

Nothing is black and white. People can change pending on their situations and the outcome of their situations. Also depends on the type of person who cheats.

 

I was a serial cheater twenty years ago as I liked the chase, the flirting, the validation.I did it cause I was bored too. To this day I have had many opportuniites to have sex with other men besides my partner but I know who I am and what I want. I know that happiness comes from within.

 

I know many who have cheated once and will never cheat again.

 

My best friend who has NEVER cheated in her life ( she is 47) is married for over 15 years now. She did something completely out of character and had a ONS two years ago. She hasn't told her husband because she knows he would leave her.

I know she has learnt her lesson on this one and I believe her when she says she will never do it again. She is riddled with self hatred. That's her punishment. She has zero respect for herself. She wont be cheating again

 

That is just comparing a cheater with another cheater... can you tell me what is the difference between what your great friend has done with what you did in the pass?

By the way I hope you don't call her husband your friend too... because you would be a very poor friend if you know he has been cheated on and you would not do anything about that.. I guess it has to be very funny to look at the eyes of that man and smile while you know his wife has cheated on him and she is holding him hostage to the relationship with a lie!

 

It sickens me how easy you speak about deceiving the very people you and your friend were supposed to love and protect... and believe me ... you think you are now without danger of cheating... but it things ever get a bit rocky between your partner and you... I already know what it is going to happen...

[MercuryMorrison1]

Is the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater" really true?

 

In my experience... Absolutely, yes it is. I was dating a girl once who cheated...Swore up and down she would change (everytime I caught her). I was young and dumb, didn't know when to end it...She continued to take advantage.

 

Finally one day I just decided enough was enough, that I deserved better than her. So I dumped her.

 

I've never cheated before, but I have dealt with others who seem to be compulsive cheaters...It seems like its just a part of their personality, which is a cowardly trait in my opinion. If you want out of a relationship, just say so...Yes it will be hard at first for your partner...But they will be able to recover faster if you just end it, as opposed to stringing them along while you cheat.

[Joaquin]

 

Odds are, if you cheated on your boyfriend he would get furious with you, dump you and never think about you positively again.

 

Women need to buck up and start thinking like men.

 

 

This is apparently biological.

 

Men need to be fairly sure that the woman they are with are carrying a child with their genes.

 

They don't want to expend energy unbeknownst to them bringing up another mans offspring. They need their genes to survive. A cheating partner may not provide this.

Edited April 12, 2013 by Joaquin

[reaver]

This is apparently biological.

 

Men need to be fairly sure that the woman they are with are carrying a child with their genes.

 

They don't want to expend energy unbeknownst to them bringing up another mans offspring. They need their genes to survive. A cheating partner may not provide this.

 

Men that use biology to excuse their selfish behavior are weak, pathetic men.

 

How do you feel about a woman marrying a guy for his money? Or about women choosing men based on money? Did you know there is a biological reason why women do this? Funny, considering men reject that notion even though it is a scientific fact (women who chose men who had the equivalent of money throughout human existence had children that were more likely to survive...yes it is a biological fact in evolutionary psychology) yet say cheating is more acceptable for men due to their DNA. Bottom line: men are weak. They have a "a la carte" approach to thinking. Meaning, they pick out arguments that support their selfish needs and ignore the ones that go against their selfish needs. How convenient.

Edited April 12, 2013 by reaver

[chucksagent]

We have this unique and amazing ability as human beings to cloud simply answers by what we WANT instead of what the reality is. And that's fine people, you gotta live, you need to tell yourself WHATEVER it is you need to in order to wake up every day and look in the mirror.

 

But here is the simple math of the thing...

 

YES, people CAN change and do it all the time. It's just that NOT as may people as who DON'T change...not near that number.

 

So it comes down to simply the odds. ODDS ARE a cheater will cheat on you as well ESPECIALLY if given the chance. Now, of course, there is a smaller % that he or she changed and won't. So you need to decide if they are worth the risk. Personally, I'd say 9 out of 10 times they are not. But everyone is differet and LOTS of people just want to "be" with someone and will oft times settle.

[love1336x]

To have a relationship after a partner cheat is difficult. My personal advice is to give your relationship a break. Maybe couple months to heal yourself from this betrayal.

When my ex cheated on me with his ex of five years. I felt so much hurt and suffered so much, but I thought because I loved this man that I could move on,and forgive him.

 

HAHAHA I was FOOLING myself. After sadness I felt RAGE.

I started to ask questions, why he cheated? Was she really worth it? How many times they slept together?

He gave me answers... and things simply got worse. If I would have let go of him. If I would have focus on myself in healing vs trying to stay with a man who cheated on me && asking stupid questions. I could have save myself sooooo much heartache.

 

Maybe me and him would had been together still because I wouldn't have been so angry.

 

but to answer your question... lol...

"Once a cheater, always a cheater" Eh, maybe depends on the person's heart. I know with my ex, after his cheated.... he talk to his ex, which made me believe he was not sorry for cheating, if he couldn't let her go after the pain he inflicted upon me.

Edited April 14, 2013 by love1336x

[Darren Steez]

I think you either respect a person or you don't, and that starts with the respect you have for yourself as well as common decency.

There are a number of gates or moral decisions you have to circumvent in order to get to the final act itself. Any number of those gates should stop you but you go through them anyway. You make that journey once, much like navigating a difficult course, the second time around becomes much easier..but of course it is..the last time around you lost a little bit of self respect for yourself.

[RomanceLow]

I dated this military guy for 6 months then he cheated on me so i left him. Three months later he texts me and apologizes and I stupidly take him back. He said he'd change and he did for a little bit then he went back to old habits so i left him 4 months later. To this day I love him, but it's not worth the pain and insecurities cheating does to a person. To be honest they'll tell you anything to take you back. I"m sure a cheater can change. But they have to want it and it doesn't happen over night. Leave this person they're not worth it.

[chucksagent]

Yeah, I mean liberals can where their hearts on their sleeves and champion for "change" as they always do...And that is GREAT, because we need that...we need hope...hope is an amazing thing.

 

But for those of us on planet earth with large brains, it's a numbers game...like everything...What is likely? It's likely you will be cheated on. I look at life like a giant poker game...take risks, but take calculated/worthy risks. If this person is AMAZING and once in a lifetime, then maybe you risk it. But an average joe or jane? You'd need your head examined.

 

And under BOTH scenarios, mathematically, you are taking a very serious risk for heartache.

[sunbeach200]

That is just comparing a cheater with another cheater... can you tell me what is the difference between what your great friend has done with what you did in the pass?

By the way I hope you don't call her husband your friend too... because you would be a very poor friend if you know he has been cheated on and you would not do anything about that.. I guess it has to be very funny to look at the eyes of that man and smile while you know his wife has cheated on him and she is holding him hostage to the relationship with a lie!

 

It sickens me how easy you speak about deceiving the very people you and your friend were supposed to love and protect... and believe me ... you think you are now without danger of cheating... but it things ever get a bit rocky between your partner and you... I already know what it is going to happen...

 

Wow you are a bitter man. All your posts are full of bitterness.You must have been very hurt in the past. I am sorry you couldnt process your hurt. It must be awful to have all that negativity inside you.

 

If things ever" get rocky" between me and my partner I wont be cheating on him. Sorry to disappoint. But you know me better than I do right? After all I cheated twenty years ago so I WILL MOST LIKELY CHEAT AGAIN?

 

Animallover you do talk some crap at times

[animalover]

Wow you are a bitter man. All your posts are full of bitterness.You must have been very hurt in the past. I am sorry you couldnt process your hurt. It must be awful to have all that negativity inside you.

 

If things ever" get rocky" between me and my partner I wont be cheating on him. Sorry to disappoint. But you know me better than I do right? After all I cheated twenty years ago so I WILL MOST LIKELY CHEAT AGAIN?

 

Animallover you do talk some crap at times

 

Unlike you think I have not been cheated ever in my life... and the fact that you cheated 20 years ago or 10 , inutes ago keeps making a cheater ....someone who in a moment of time chose to disrespect someone in the worse way possible...and then come here and speak about it like if it would be a normal thing everyone hasbto pass through....

I may be bitter but I prefer being a bitter man thatnsomeone who thinks cheating is just ok when it was som3 time ago...

[Harradin]

From experience, someone who cheats most likely always will.

 

Everything was fine in my relationship with my ex, until she told me her parents were getting divorced, I told her I'd always be there if she needed it and she was upset so I tried my best to try comfort her etc. I was away for the weekend and she told me she had plans, so I asked her what they were and she was seeing a friend of mine, I instantly smelled a rat and asked her why. She turned round having a go at me saying stuff like "why don't you trust me? You know that I love you and that I'm with you, you've been there for me when I've needed it so stop being so jealous." She went distant over the weekend, then on the Monday after the weekend, she dumped me by email telling me she'd left me for my friend. She claimed "nothing happened" but you don't just start a relationship with someone without any cheating going on.

 

I assumed it was the parent's divorce that had messed her head around so I gave it a month (she was constantly texting me, poking me on Fb, asking friends about me etc) and tried to get her back where she lead me on, held my hands, sat on my lap and then told me she made the right decision leaving me. Not spoken to her since.

 

And today, 7 months later I found out that she'd left my 'friend' for somebody else, and that she had cheated on him! Ironically the guy she cheated with told me how wrong the two of them were when she did it to me!

 

History does repeat itself.

 

In terms of me, I've never ever cheated, I've never had the thought to. Its disgusting, I take trust very seriously.

[whitneyblue]

It is definitely not true!!! I have cheated on a guy in the past because I was still in love with my ex and ended up sleeping with him. I told the guy I cheated on and ended the relationship. However, I haven't done it since and would never even dream of cheating on the guy I'm currently dating. It depends on your reason for cheating in the first place.

 

Once an ****ty person, always a ****ty person....but that doesn't mean that everyone who cheats is a ****ty person. depends on the circumstance....even though cheating is terrible and is never right.

[nofool4u]

It is definitely not true!!! I have cheated on a guy in the past because I was still in love with my ex and ended up sleeping with him. I told the guy I cheated on and ended the relationship.

 

And you didn't end the relationship first because...?

 

 

However, I haven't done it since and would never even dream of cheating on the guy I'm currently dating. It depends on your reason for cheating in the first place.

 

There is no justifiable "reason", or more accurately excuse, for cheating.

 

In any case, whether someone believes the phrase or not, you can't blame anyone for holding that view and use it to weed out those that are more than capable of it since they have shown they will use whatever excuse to justify it.

 

Its like jumping in a lion's pit at the zoo, there may be a chance he/she isn't hungry, but I'm not going to take that chance.