tiki Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 Ok, here's the dealio... I'm obsessed with a band. Particularly one member of this band (the lead singer). I've driven hours on end to see them perform. I've seen them multiple times in the past year and have been an avid listener and fan since 1999. In 2003 I became an active member on the forum of the band's website. I set up a solo living room show (pre-concert night) with this lead singer and chatted with him over email to get it all set up. I was shucking out $300-350 to have this done. My solo show had to be cancelled last minute due to the actual concert being cancelled. But I got over it. I am obsessed and I know it. My fiance knows this too. But here's the problem... After all of the concerts, I want to go chat it up and get photos of the band. Particularly, well, um, him. So during the meet and greet, lead singer always gives me lots of attention, which is cool. Cuz he's a cool guy and I do adore him. My fiance always accompanies to these concerts by the way. The last two times (since I had to cancel the living room show), he's paid me extra attention. He asked me to kiss him on the cheek, he kisses my hand and acts really crazy and does this crazy thing with his tongue. Ok so he licked my hand, lol. He hugs on ya, crap like that. Well last Friday night I saw him post concert again. He had winked twice at me during the concert (it was a slow crowd). He made comments about my enthusiasm and wanted a hug. I wanted my pic taken with him and we leaned in close and he did the crazy tongue thing on my lips while I was smiling. Call it lickin on the lips, call it whatever you want. But he was kind of flicking his tongue on my lips as I was smiling for the pic. I felt horrible for my fiance (taking the pic). But I didn't know how he'd react...he likes the singer, the band, the music....and has never acted THAT jealous before. I've made comments before about the lead singer and how I loved him and thought he was just freakin awesome. Anyway, fiance gets MAD. And almost says something to the lead singer. He was pissed and I didn't really do anything wrong. But I do feel like I've brought some of this on myself. Now I don't know what to do. He's mad and he's gotten over it. But I tried to use the 'he's a famous person' line and it diddn't go over so well. He says it doesn't matter, that that was intimate and uncalled for. Give me opinions. I love this band. I love this guy. I love my fiance too. I go to see them perform all the time. What can I do?! Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 Well, IF my boyfriend was obsessed with someone famous and she was licking him on his lips, I would still be pissed off. I think your fiance has a valid point, that it doesn't matter if the person is famous or not when you're involved in a relationship (and it really sounds like your guy has been a good sport about all of this, a lot of other guys would have flipped the hell out a long time before now) it isn't okay for some other guy/girl to be licking you, kissing you or otherwise. My two cent's Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 I would guess that your fiance is having second thoughts about the marriage thing right now. You have to choose between your fiance and the guy in the band. And NO it doesn't matter if he's famous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tiki Posted September 13, 2004 Author Share Posted September 13, 2004 Originally posted by Craig I would guess that your fiance is having second thoughts about the marriage thing right now. Huh? Just because he got pissed about the 'famous' guy licking my lips? And I too felt badly about the situation and made that obvious. Merin - thanks for the advice. I do think he's been a pretty good sport. I just have to figure out how to make sure that doesn't happen again. Or either cut out the meet and greets all together, eh? I asked my fiance if he wanted us to quit going to the concerts. He said "Nooooo". He said he'd just tell him next time to back off of his woman. Great! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 You're a GROUPIE!!! Seriously, you obviously adore famous guy, and he's well aware of it. So he's playing into your fantasy, and probably his (that whole being put up on a pedstal thing) and carried it too far by kissing you. Your fiancee is OK with it now-you're OK with it now-for his sake, he's going to speak up if famous guy tries it again-for YOUR sake you might want to consider backing off the level of contact. Out of respect for your man's feelings-not stop going to concerts, but perhaps back off the one on one bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tiki Posted September 13, 2004 Author Share Posted September 13, 2004 Thanks. I would just hate to stop seeing the band. I think you're right about the one on one thing. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock You're a GROUPIE!!! "Groupies" sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. She's there because of the music. She doesn't have intercourse with these guys, She supports the music. She inspires the music. She is there because of the music. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Whatever you say, dyer And the "star" was licking her lips because he appreciated her fandom? C'mawn...really. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Heh...I'd love to be a fly on the wall when your fiance opens a can of whoop-ass on the "artiste"... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tiki Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 Pap, you're funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Dyer made an interesting point. Given the opportunity to bump uglies with this guy, would you consider it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tiki Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 Never. I'm commited fully to my fiance and don't believe in anything otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 That's great to hear. I've told you before you sound like a really loyal person, and I'll reiterate it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tiki Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 Originally posted by Papillon That's great to hear. I've told you before you sound like a really loyal person, and I'll reiterate it again. Shanks. I owe it to him to give him my best. He deserves it. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Just don't anyone but your fiance lick you. Oh, and maybe your puppy, or your newborn. Link to post Share on other sites
oannamarie Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Just wondering, who is the band and person and how old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tiki Posted September 16, 2004 Author Share Posted September 16, 2004 I'm 28. I've been a fan since age 23. You probably wouldn't know them if I told ya the name. They have a few hits that have played on the radio, but not a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
oannamarie Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 You's supreised. I listen to alot of underground music that is not on the radio. Link to post Share on other sites
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