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Platonic male friends

Eternal Sunshine

By Eternal Sunshine
in Friends and Lovers

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
Posted

My 2 best female friends are moving away and I am increasingly left with single male friends (that I am not into romantically).

 

Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that my single male friends fall into 2 groups:

 

1. those that want to sleep with me and date me

2. those that want to sleep with me and be FWB

 

Sigh. It seems that desiring to sleep with me is motivating them to initiate hang outs, rather than the genuine friendship.

 

Depressing :(

  • Like 2
soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

Posted
Posted

I have a few platonic female friends. Some are very attractive. It's all about maturity, I think.

 

When you or the other is attractive, it becomes difficult to completely close off sexual feelings.

  • Like 4
PogoStick Established Member

PogoStick

Posted
Posted

Life must be difficult. Sorry to find you irresistible!

 

I think it was Chris Rock:

 

Guys have 2 kinds of girls,

Ones we've phukd

Ones we haven't phukd...yet

  • Like 3
NervisPervis Established Member

NervisPervis

Posted
Posted
My 2 best female friends are moving away and I am increasingly left with single male friends (that I am not into romantically).

 

Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that my single male friends fall into 2 groups:

 

1. those that want to sleep with me and date me

2. those that want to sleep with me and be FWB

 

Sigh. It seems that desiring to sleep with me is motivating them to initiate hang outs, rather than the genuine friendship.

 

Depressing :(

 

WARNING Will Robinson! Warning! Warning!

 

How do we keep women away from this thread? We've got ONE that has figured it out already.

 

It must. Stop. There!!

 

Danger, Danger...

  • Like 1
SensitiveTJ Established Member

SensitiveTJ

Posted
Posted

It's not that common to have a good friend of the opposite sex. I've only ever had one. But that was a friendship I was glad to have.

s-ss Member

s-ss

Posted
Posted

IMO platonic close friendships only work when there are strict or restrictive boundaries in place. In my case I only have two close friends who I KNOW with 100% certainty will never ever hit on me because they are quite religious and only want their girlfriend or future wife to be of that religion. This was made clear from the very start of the friendship. The only way a friendship can remain platonic is if both people have very strong boundaries and know exactly where they stand with the other all the time.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

They want to sleep with you and/or date you, and that's why they are your "friend"?

 

Or they are truly a friend, but incidentally wouldn't mind having sex?

  • Like 1
MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

Posted
Posted

My platonic male friends are gay. Sigh.......... Don't get me wrong, they are great guys.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

Martial arts. Traditional martial arts training will make all of the guys (who are honestly into it) be very platonic with you and treat you like you're a sister.

 

That being said, I've noticed that the older I get, the more female friends I want, and the less males, even though my interests are overwhelmingly male-dominated.

  • Like 2
NervisPervis Established Member

NervisPervis

Posted
Posted
I only have two close friends who I KNOW with 100% certainty will never ever hit on me because they are quite religious and only want their girlfriend or future wife to be of that religion. This was made clear from the very start of the friendship.

 

Can a FWB be of a different religion? Never mind. I know the answer. They are pursuing a friendship with you. So religion doesn't count for sex only, just relationships.

 

And the italics are important. I have MANY female friends. The only ones I pursue a friendship with above and beyond that which is necessary are the ones I want to screw.

 

Period.

NervisPervis Established Member

NervisPervis

Posted
Posted
They want to sleep with you and/or date you, and that's why they are your "friend"?

 

Or they are truly a friend, but incidentally wouldn't mind having sex?

 

You're asking someone with the wrong chromosome. The answer is a.

TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

Posted
Posted

Most single guys are looking for someone to have sex with. If a single guy is friends with a girl he by default likes her personality enough so the only thing to stop him from having sex is if she physically doesn't do it for him or is already taken.

 

It sounds like you are complaining about men wanting to have sex with you but you want to be just friends. You need to clearly communicate that friendship is all you want. That should prevent most of these guys from hanging out with you.

  • Like 2
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
It sounds like you are complaining about men wanting to have sex with you but you want to be just friends. You need to clearly communicate that friendship is all you want. That should prevent most of these guys from hanging out with you.

 

And if it doesn't, then you know they are really your friends.

 

But it sounds like they aren't....

sillyanswer Established Member

sillyanswer

Posted
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Men are not really rational.
Guilty as charged, but since we're generalising I'll posit that women aren't rational either. None of you. ;)
StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

Posted
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Are you the one that tried going on dating sites to "find friends"?

 

I think maybe instead of making male friends you collect orbiters. I have met this type and I even dated one briefly. The type that "befriends" guys by making sexual jokes and comments, typically wildly inappropriate behavior and craving for attention.

  • Like 2
TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

Posted
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So what makes you want to be friends with the men in question in the first place?

 

What's the attraction there? Are you attracted to any of them?

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
My 2 best female friends are moving away and I am increasingly left with single male friends (that I am not into romantically).

 

Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that my single male friends fall into 2 groups:

 

1. those that want to sleep with me and date me

2. those that want to sleep with me and be FWB

 

Sigh. It seems that desiring to sleep with me is motivating them to initiate hang outs, rather than the genuine friendship.

 

Depressing :(

Yup, because a guy wants to date you or sleep with you, it means that he never considered you to be a friend :rolleyes:

taiko Established Member

taiko

Posted
Posted
Attraction for men is physical attraction. Men do not become attracted to your personality the way women do, sorry.

 

Not always, after all Precious had kids. Most everybody is good enough and the other things can give you bonus points over the physical appearance alone

  • Like 1
crude Established Member

crude

Posted
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To a man, sex is a natural part of friendship if he finds her anything but repulsive. Women on the other hand would rather go out with a stranger on superficial dates, then have sex on the 5th date even though he's no more attractive in any way than the friend is. Seems illogical to go with the stranger rather than the friend who's been there all along for you.

  • Like 1
SuperGeek Established Member

SuperGeek

Posted
Posted (edited)

Lol, you need to get over yourself! I am certain that not all your platonic male friends want to sleep with you. There are far too many other females out there besides yourself that are 'available'. If you've already friendzoned them, they know it already and are okay with it. If they wern't, they wouldn't be your friend at this point would they? Sheesh!

 

I have a lot of platonic female friends and I don't sit there and pine for them one day to be my lover or try to sleep with them. I accept that it's a friendship and i don't cross boundaries -- even some girls that are smoking hot I keep as just friends. It's fairly easy to tell when i've been friendzoned or if a girl is dating someone else, i don't push it.

 

I am _LESS_ attracted to the super hot platonic friends I have because they are insane in the head and do not know what they want. They go through guys like tap water and honestly I do not want the drama of it. I bet that shocks you doesn't it? lol. I don't hit on them at all and I have friend-zoned them! The super hot ones I avoid, because they are typically getting hit on by 20-50 dudes a day and there is no way I'm going to be able to keep a girl like that interested. I've tried and failed, so no I avoid the runway model types -- just too much risk to get hurt.

 

Not all males you are friends with want to sleep with you. Especially males that have some life experience and have a detailed idea of what they are looking for. Males that have been through hell in back in relationships are usually more selective as they progress through life and the criteria is no longer just "Is she hot?"... there is way more to it.

 

SuperGeek

 

My 2 best female friends are moving away and I am increasingly left with single male friends (that I am not into romantically).

 

Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that my single male friends fall into 2 groups:

 

1. those that want to sleep with me and date me

2. those that want to sleep with me and be FWB

 

Sigh. It seems that desiring to sleep with me is motivating them to initiate hang outs, rather than the genuine friendship.

 

Depressing :(

Edited by SuperGeek
  • Like 1
NervisPervis Established Member

NervisPervis

Posted
Posted

Not all males you are friends with want to sleep with you.

SuperGeek

 

I will agree with you because you said "ALL", and I'll admit there is a chance (albeit remote) that there is one out there somewhere that doesn't.

Revolver Established Member

Revolver

Posted
Posted

I forgot who said this but I remember a guy saying something to the effect of

 

"All females I want you to text all your so called male friends and offer to give each a blowjob. Then see how many "platonic" friends you have".:laugh:

  • Like 2
dasein Established Member

dasein

Posted
Posted

I think the "all male friends want to sleep with you" convention has become a platitude that has some truth and fiction in it. Women seem to categorize romantic interest that isn't returned as "friendship" readily, sometimes ignoring the plain, continuing signs of romantic interest. Lots of men have learned that sex with women they know and desire can be situational, so hang about waiting for it to happen. Those aren't one's "friends." Drinking or party buddies aren't "friends." Guys who are friendly and socialize in a work environment only aren't "friends."

 

Friends are the folks one shares various different facets of life with, not just at night, not just the day, all the time. They are the people you can call in the middle of the night, or could call you, to watch their pets during a family emergency. They do things for each other, it isn't lopsided either. Real friends may feel sexual attraction to their friends, but probably wouldn't try to move that forward or take advantage of any sexual opportunity. I have several female friends, they are very sexually attractive to me, but have no actual desire towards having sex with them for several reasons. If I found them naked and beckoning on a bed, would tell them to put down the pipe and get some clothes on.

  • Like 2
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
Friends are the folks one shares various different facets of life with, not just at night, not just the day, all the time. They are the people you can call in the middle of the night, or could call you, to watch their pets during a family emergency. They do things for each other, it isn't lopsided either. Real friends may feel sexual attraction to their friends, but probably wouldn't try to move that forward or take advantage of any sexual opportunity. I have several female friends, they are very sexually attractive to me, but have no actual desire towards having sex with them for several reasons. If I found them naked and beckoning on a bed, would tell them to put down the pipe and get some clothes on.

 

Finally, someone who understands the concept of friends!

  • Like 1
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

Fudge has a very good point in the distinction between sexual feelings and romantic feelings. Unrequited love is a problem. Sexual attraction does not need to be a problem between adults.

  • Like 1
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