Oh My God!!!

[michele]

Hi everyone,

 

I've been seeing this guy now for a few months. After a few months of talking on the phone and seeing him at work we finally got together. Yes I'm intimate with him, anyway.

 

He had to go to Hawaii, on a business trip for a couple of weeks, and I'm really missing him. The last time we spoke on the phone, before he boarded his flight he told me I'll see you when I get back. Needless to say, I can't stop thinking of him, he hasn't called me or even sent me a postcard.

 

I know it has only been a week, but a million things pop in my mind. I guess when he said I will see you when I come back, that was his way of saying, no I'm not going to call, etc.

 

Anyone Am I right in assuming that? I've tried to keep myself busy, doing the treadmill,excersizing, going Christmas shopping, but it seems to me everywhere I go there is something that reminds me of him. Help any advice, the longest few weeks of my life. HEHE, he is probably having such a great time, not even thinking of me. I'm pityful!

[maree]

Dear Michelle;

 

You sound exactly like what I would be thinking. I will tell you that maybe this guy is thinking that you are wayyy into him. You may want to play a bit hard to get when he comes back... He will quickly zoom right in. Don't mention that he didnt' call you.

 

Maybe, you shouldn't answer your phone when he calls, and call him the next day and don't give the impression that you were sitting by the phone.

[Tony T]

..."I'm pityful!"

 

Yeah, a little bit. The guy's in his prime, business is on his mind, he's gone to Hawaii, entertaining people, making money. Probably testing you to see how cool you can become. This guy may be looking for a gal who can stay home and be cool while he (her husband) is gone away on business trips.

 

You have got to get a life, babe. If this guy is so engulfing your life as you indicate, you will surely be devastated and be committed to an institution if he ever breaks up with you. You have got to get yourself together and not make him encompass so much of your life and your being. If you marry him, then you can go a bit further in this...but for you to be this wrapped up in a guy after a few months...well, I know being in love feels good...but you will drive him away if he ever finds out just how obsessed you are.

 

You can analyze this situation all you want. But the fact is that he is away on business and he will see you when he returns. He hasn't called you because he's not as wrapped up in you as you are in him. So he holds the major power in this relationsip. Work on yourself to more evenly distribute that power.

 

I have a sinking feeling that he may have needed to get away from this relationship a bit. If you are so obsessed as you describe, he may very well be feeling smothered. If that's the case, if you don't change your ways real soon, he will drop you like a hot potato. When he gets back, play it very cool, don't see him so often, don't talk to him so often. Doing so can burn a guy out quick.

 

When it comes to love, you always gotta leave them wanting more. You can't do that if you're always around.

 

God, I hope you haven't already screwed this up. Guys want a challenge...a babe who is independent and unpredictable. I think you have already played your cards here. You better get ready to turn this around when he gets back. I absolutely guarantee you will drive him away if you are as clingy as I think you are.

 

Every guy wants a loving, caring lady and you seem to be just that for this guy. But at the same time, men want fresh air and space. Don't ever, every let him know just how bananas you have been while he is away. He would act flattered but he wouldn't like it at all underneath. If anything, you would completely cease to be any kind of challenge for him. Men are hunters...they don't like their prey to walk up and kneel before them. They want to pursue. Don't take that away from him.

[michele]

Hi everyone, I've been seeing this guy now for a few months. After a few months of talking on the phone and seeing him at work we finally got together. Yes I'm intimate with him, anyway. He had to go to Hawaii, on a business trip for a couple of weeks, and I'm really missing him. The last time we spoke on the phone, before he boarded his flight he told me I'll see you when I get back. Needless to say, I can't stop thinking of him, he hasn't called me or even sent me a postcard. I know it has only been a week, but a million things pop in my mind. I guess when he said I will see you when I come back, that was his way of saying, no I'm not going to call, etc. Anyone Am I right in assuming that? I've tried to keep myself busy, doing the treadmill,excersizing, going Christmas shopping, but it seems to me everywhere I go there is something that reminds me of him. Help any advice, the longest few weeks of my life. HEHE, he is probably having such a great time, not even thinking of me. I'm pityful!

 

Tony,

 

Thanks for your advice, I'm really not that obsessed as you claim. However you are right about playing cool. I will take your advice, and by the way, you are real intelligent when it comes to interpersonal skills in relationships. I really appreciate your advice, especially coming from a man's point of view.

[Deejette]

I don't think it is very nice of him not to even call or send a card, so you should back off a bit. I mean, if a boyfriend that I was intimate went away and didn't even call once, I would take that as a signal as to where I stand in his life.

Tony, Thanks for your advice, I'm really not that obsessed as you claim. However you are right about playing cool. I will take your advice, and by the way, you are real intelligent when it comes to interpersonal skills in relationships. I really appreciate your advice, especially coming from a man's point of view.