flight E Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Posts: 1 help Was in somethin similar until last week. Am 37 met this 24 year old girl on the street one day talked but she didn't seem interested. We became friendly n after a while found out she was an orphan. Am a kind person so I started helpin out just as a friend. We got closer n she didn't have anywhere to stay so she moved in with me. After 2months started noticing good qualities in her like her openess n honesty and care. Got to really like her. We became sexual only d night we were to have sex after she showed huge attractn for me throughout the day, I declined as I didn't want her to feel used. After that I requested that we date but she said I was much older than her and I looked it. Also she was more into physicaly handsome guys. She told me she felt disgusted about our sexual encounter but she came 4 times just from me touching her. And we had many. She soon left my house but I saw her as sometin more than just a love interest I was like a parent and broder and lover to her. I dotted on her in every way posible but she said we should just be friends. She was very sincere so I agreed but behaved lik a lover throughout. Found out she was dating someone and when I got angry and possessive she called me a stalker and that I should leave her alone. My fear is breaking no contact becos if I do I will hate myself. Though I am not perfect I honestly did what was best for her throughout our time and was extremely good to her. To be called a stalker really demeans me. I just want to control the urge to reach her, but guys I want you full opinion on whether she will ever call back and what's the best approach if she does. Though am expectin to hear from her at the end of the month as she has my computer which I borrowed her. We were so close. Had had lots of quarrels but always she called back then we reconcile. But this one is different I was always d one that said she needed space and left but in dis case she asked me to leave her alone. I thibk am addicted to her but I don't want to be just 3 days of NC am confused now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flight E Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Will really luv it if someone gave some advice really disturbed Link to post Share on other sites
Author flight E Posted April 5, 2013 Author Share Posted April 5, 2013 Been on nc for 4 days now, just disturbed don't even know if its luv or my ego because she ended things more concerned abt not breaking nc Link to post Share on other sites
Soulsearching29 Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 She said she wanted to be just friends. Then when she started dating someone you got angry and posesive. Thats the problem right there. She saw you as a friend and wanted you as a friend only (harsh but that's how it reads) You got angry with her dating someone and you had a fight. This is where our situations are similiar (I think) you want her as more than a friend and have feelings for her as more as a friend. She just wants/wanted you as a friend I'm a woman. I know women. I should tell you to move on but if you really want to keep giving this a shot at her realising she wants you for more than friendship, this is probably the most effective way... No contact or VERY light contact (hardly anything) Happy attitude, indifferent attitude (you could use Facebook if your both on there to convey that, otherwise just any light contact make sure it's about happy news you have and really short messages, again try and work seeming indiferent here (delay getting back to her, less affection in the tone) No contact some more. Usually women feel like running a bit when they know they have someone interested (if that woman is feeling less than the man) and they don't think about the guy much.. sudden silence wont work in the short term but after a while she'll start thinking about you (hell this will even happen if she STILL would only see you as a friend, she'll get curious and miss the attention) In the past with exes for me, after about 3 weeks of silence on their part it's me that has to contact because I miss them. Or maybe a few weeks longer than that. But the time you two spend not talking will significantly calm down her anger that you acted like a boyfriend to her dating someone I don't know if any of this helps at all but I hated that you had no responses here yet. Good luck ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author flight E Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 Yes it did help and thanx for responding. I think I will try to move on. Maybe if I do she might come back but I really like her and we had such great connectn at first but if it ideal if I contact her 1st Link to post Share on other sites
Vogeltron Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 (edited) Honestly, if you really like this girl that much screw the age. If you are really interested in her I would just contact her back. Most women just want to hear the truth (or a variation of it ) and if you were really that interested in here and like her that much call her back and tell her how much of a douche you where. I would also say something about how you felt uncomfortable about the age difference but you have now realized age is just a number and if you truly care about somebody that is all that matters. Be sure to compliment her on how beautiful she is etc and some personal trait you miss about her. Also that if she wants to tell you to f-off that is fine but you are kicking yourself over not really telling her about how you felt about her in the past. Even if that means telling you to f-off you would just like to be done with it. Normally with a situation like this I would also say something about another chick being interested but given the age gap I would not say something like that. That is how I would approach it. If you got a better game plan good luck. Edited April 7, 2013 by Vogeltron Link to post Share on other sites
Author flight E Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 tanx for the reply, I am someone who would have said whats the big deal about one girl but I can really now understand the pain people go through. she knows I like her, I think my best play is to tak it real slow. I may talk to her again when she returns my laptop. but then I will just apologize and still give her space. interestingly I don't feel any strong urge to contact her maybe I don't want to riskbei embarrassed. she called me a stalker as I said in my original mail. I care about her but I think my only play is to take it slow. thanks for the responses they are truly welcomed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flight E Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 soul searching29 what do you think is best for me to do, after she told me to let her be. as a woman do you think it best to reach her. have not talked to her for 8 days the longest we been apart usually after 5days she sends a text or calls. what do you think is my best play thanx Link to post Share on other sites
Author flight E Posted April 14, 2013 Author Share Posted April 14, 2013 Called her yesday she was cold, realy feel so bad feel like knoxkim myself over. Horified I might call her again wil harm myself if I do. Y am I lik dis I feel so ashaneed can't sleep or eat or tink of anytin else Link to post Share on other sites
Author flight E Posted May 31, 2013 Author Share Posted May 31, 2013 went on no contact for a month. Was more like she was waiting for me as we were communicating our tru bbm dps. was more like we were just trying to get at each other. Finally, I agreed to the "breakup" again, but we accidentally met somewhere and got close again. however thing never seem to be the same. we are happy a while. upset with each other sometimes. bottom line seems she still has reservations about us being together. Moral of the story: listen to the advice giving by people on this site especially taramaiden. it may seem harsh but its the correct thing. When you break up. the only thing that should be in your mind, that should be your focus is to move on . Infact this is the only way you can be attractive to your ex again. any gimmick, call, text, communication only hurts you and makes you look cheap. unless you have moved on and don't need to be with your ex you will never truly get them back. Focus on moving on. Its the only choice we have. I should have done this since would have saved myself a lot of pain, sleepless nights planning, anxiety and waste of my valuable time. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts